On An Election and A Country's True Identity

I'm not surprised. I'm saddened, but I’m not surprised.

I'm unsurprised that 59% of men of pallor and 52% of women of pallor voted the way they did. I'm sadly not surprised that after everything he said and will do to immigrants when he takes office, he still got 54% of the masculine-identifying and 37% of the feminine-identifying Latine and Hispanic vote.

I'm saddened, but I’m not surprised.

I am disheartened but unsurprised.

I didn’t need a reminder, but for those who did, this election was a firm reminder that the United States is precisely what it has always been: a country steeped in individualism and fear of moving forward, unwilling to be progressive and care for all its citizens, and legitimately uninterested in trying to be the country it likes to claim it is.

He won this election, and it wasn't even close in the popular or electoral vote. A party with a platform of hate, oppression, and regression will be in complete control of the Government come January 2025, and it wasn't even a fight.

And I know so many of y'all voted for this man and this party while playin’ in the faces of the people in your life who you know their policies and governance will do extreme harm to. Most of y'all are quick to bust out a Black Lives Matter sign or bring up trans and reproductive rights just to have a smoke screen to vote against everyone’s best interests.

I loathe that most of y'all won’t own your hatred and fear of losing what you think is exclusively yours - rights, privileges, and safety from tyranny.

I loathe that most of y'all won’t own who you are in front of those your choices impact.

I loathe that most of y’all will be shocked when the people you elected do the exact things you hired them to do and you find yourself and your families adversely impacted and in physical, mental, emotional, and economic distress.

But I’m not surprised.

You're Americans! That's what Americans do, right?

I'm saddened. I'm disheartened. I'm not surprised, though.

This is the American way, y'all.

Note: This poll data is from a subsection of the voter base from 10 states.

This Week's Opening Thought: June 3, 2024

This week's opening thought for senior leaders in organizations: Your homophobic, biphobic, transphobic workplace should probably not be celebrating Pride Month.

Ain't nobody got time for all of that performative nonsense. Real sh-- is going on all around us to the point where we're tired enough without having to put up with a month of performative shenanigans that are nothing more than another weapon to harm folx who work for you while you pat yourselves on the back.

We need more than a shout-out to Pride in a company email or team meeting. We need more than a performative PR stunt.

We need y'all to take the actionable steps to bounce the homophobes and transphobes from your organization's roster.

We need y'all to stand on business and call in and out those who do LGBTQIAA+ communities harm while representing you in these streets.

We need y'all to check yourselves and hold yourselves accountable for contributing to harm to queer and trans folx and looking the other way when your queer-identifying colleagues are hurt so you can stay in good standing with the oppressors you consider the in-crowd at work.

We need y'all to hold your human resources department accountable for allowing homophobia and transphobia to be shoulder-shrug moments and not actionable offenses.

Trinkets and hollow platitudes mean nothing when your workplace reflects the world outside of it in the worst possible ways.

There's a list of things that do not look good with a rainbow motif.

Your company logo is at the top of that list.

Stand on something or let the month pass you by.

On Being Called the "Whisperer"

Hey, people of pallor with power and privilege and those who seek to curry the favor of white supremacists and "societal norms!" Here's your Wednesday reminder that a person being melanated and sharing their experiences navigating white supremacy in your workplace does not mean that person wants to be your "racism whisperer." The same goes for queer-identifying folx not wanting to be your "LGBTQIAA+ whisperer" and people with disabilities not wanting to be your "disability whisperer."

We didn't sign up for that.

We want to do our jobs well enough to be proud of our work and keep our jobs while dodging your ever-increasing scrutiny of our work due to your unwillingness to unpack your sh-- and then go home. If we share an experience we've had with you in the workplace, it was likely shared to educate you to the point that you will hopefully quit doing us and people like us ongoing harm.

You will never pay us enough to be a "whisperer" about anything in your white supremacist workplace environments. No money can ever supplant that sick feeling we often get in our guts when we have to be around you, listen to you say hateful and ignorant things, and mull over when is the right time to educate you instead of telling you where to go and how to get there. No money will ever aid our nervous systems in not feeling like the moment we put ourselves out there to gently call you in or teach you that our livelihoods are in danger. No money will ever make us feel OK with being tokenized by you, pushed to share our stories repeatedly with you, or make the number of boundaries we must have while in your workplace to exist and not be harmed by you feel any less burdensome.

Leave us be and digest what we shared with you. Own your actions instead of commodifying human beings.

On Write-Ups, "Performance Improvement Plans," "Managers," and "Leaders"

Write-ups and "performance improvement plans" exist because most "managers" don't know how to have adult, human, centered conversations with their team members to address issues in real-time and view being vulnerable and connected to their team members and colleagues as weaknesses.

Most write-ups and "performance improvement plans" address things that should've been, and still could be, addressed in a one-on-one, actively engaged conversation and regularly scheduled 1:1s.

If most "managers" and "leaders" used write-ups and "performance improvement plans" as human-centered support tools after exhausting all means of straightforward communication instead of weapons to force compliance, we'd be having different conversations about work.

If most "managers" and "leaders" used write-ups and "performance improvement plans" as a means to remove toxic, oppressive, racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, ableist people from the workplace, we'd be having VERY different conversations about work.

Don't @ me. Tell me when I'm tellin' lies.

On Toby, Death, Legacy, and Rewrites

TW: mentions of racism, homophobia, and xenophobia.

So, I posted about Toby Keith on one of my other social media platforms, and whew! Some folx (read: people of pallor) weren't too keen on it. One person (read: cishet man of pallor) went as far as posting, "Way to kick a man when he's down."

I get it. He died. He likely died a painful death. And that sucks. I'm sure his family is grieving. One part of my humanity feels for them (I'm not a heartless monster). Maybe talking about his "accomplishments" (read: being a hateful person with a public platform) when he's barely been gone a week is cold. Some might say that's ice cold. Frigid. Mortal Kombat Sub Zero-level frosty. But you know what?

There's a lot I will never be sure of in this life- life is fickle like that. But one thing I can be sure of is that when I die, there won't be a ticker-tape parade of happiness that I'm no longer here or a notion that the world will be a little safer without me in it.

Think about it: if your death is a cause for celebration for any marginalized, invisible, and unserved community targeted by hate, you're likely on the wrong side of, well, everything. History, decency, everything.

Collectively, we must quit looking at a person's life's work to cherry-pick the things that work for whatever narrative works with our worldviews - views often obscured through generations of hate and toxic norms. I know people of pallor and societal culture are usually keen on re-writing and re-crafting history and "looking at the positives." But when a person's life's work is aimed at harming others, and their work becomes anthems for hate, racism, homophobia, and xenophobia? Help me see how the positives outweigh the negatives enough to disregard harm.

No one is perfect. We all have flaws. But when the things people defend as your "flaws" are evidence that you're a deplorable human being who used their public platform to traffic in pain, racism, homophobia, and xenophobia, maybe the people you've targeted with said public platform ain't gonna feel so bad when your red Solo cup tips over and spills everywhere for the final time.

Just sayin'.

[Image description: An image of a gathering of Black men. Most are staring into the distance, witnessing something messed up. The Black man in the foreground is holding a Solo cup, looking toward the viewer with a "damn" expression on their face. The man walks away from the scene shaking his head and muttering, “Damn.”]

[Image description: An image of a gathering of Black men. Most are staring into the distance, witnessing something messed up. The Black man in the foreground is holding a Solo cup, looking toward the viewer with a "damn" expression on their face. The man walks away from the scene shaking his head and muttering, “Damn.”]