On "Straight Pride" and Hetero Toxicity

Me everytime someone brings up the idea of "Straight Pride," also known as EVERY DAMN DAY IN A WHITE SUPREMACIST HETERONORMATIVE HATEFUL SOCIETAL CULTURE.

Image description: A picture of the right arm and hand of the children's animated cartoon Arthur's main character, Arthur Read. His right hand is clenched into a fist.

I swear hetero cis male people be really in their feelings every June, acting like their existence is diminished because other people are celebrating their lives, resilience, and perseverence in the face of generation-spanning bigotry and oppression and the whims of weak-sauce people who haven't had fun or given their partners an orgasm in years.

How you can be a part of a dominant culture that celebrates your existence and is intentionally structured to cater to your need to feel superior and important yet still act like you're being victimized is beyond me. And doubly beyond me for the hetero cis male people whose skin looks like rotisserie chicken if they don’t wear sunscreen.

[Image description: A picture of the right arm and hand of the children's animated cartoon Arthur's main character, Arthur Read. His right hand is clenched into a fist.]

On Pride Month, Performative Nonsense, and Stepping Up or Stepping Out of the Way

It’s Pride Month, which sadly ranks up there in performative pallor energy with Black History Month on the “I’m a Good Person” scale. Months that are equal parts celebration and memorial always hit a certain way, especially if your identities are intersectional with a splash of melanin. With the state of intentionally harmful practices aimed at trans and queer folx currently taking laps through the counties and communities that collectively operate under the United States of America brand, months like this feel more meaningful…which makes it all feel more tenuous and precarious than usual.

As a queer-identifying person who hasn't had to constantly have my sexuality and sexual identities questioned and threatened by "sleuths" who think that have everyone pegged, I have been able to use the little bit of privilege and positionality I have to educate, correct, and chin check “allies,” melanated misanthropes, and alabaster homophones and transphobes without them seeing it coming. I say all of that not to brag or boast. There's nothing to brag and boast about. I have privilege and positionality, and I use them to support others without the need for kudos and cookies. No, I say all of that to amplify one simple idea:

It's easy as f--- to step up, speak up, speak out, call in, call out, and fight for people facing harm, death, and oppression.

And you don't need a special month or brand name merchandise to do that sh--.

We don't have time for y'all pulling us aside after a work meeting to "apologize" for Bill from Accounting being a toxic ghost that none of y'all who share his lack of melanin have the backbone to stand up to.

Ain't nobody got time for your low-key "apologies" when your ashy homophobic and transphobic family members aren't present to hear that you stand with your LGBTQIA+ friends and family members and that their anti-Black bigotry is not a good look.

You either stand with and fight for folx in the now or admit that you don't care about their later.

Performative activism is a choice. It's not and never has been the only choice, but a whole lot of y'all so-called "allies" love to act as such.

Just sayin.'

Happy Pride, my peoples.

This Week's Opening Thought: June 3, 2024

This week's opening thought for senior leaders in organizations: Your homophobic, biphobic, transphobic workplace should probably not be celebrating Pride Month.

Ain't nobody got time for all of that performative nonsense. Real sh-- is going on all around us to the point where we're tired enough without having to put up with a month of performative shenanigans that are nothing more than another weapon to harm folx who work for you while you pat yourselves on the back.

We need more than a shout-out to Pride in a company email or team meeting. We need more than a performative PR stunt.

We need y'all to take the actionable steps to bounce the homophobes and transphobes from your organization's roster.

We need y'all to stand on business and call in and out those who do LGBTQIAA+ communities harm while representing you in these streets.

We need y'all to check yourselves and hold yourselves accountable for contributing to harm to queer and trans folx and looking the other way when your queer-identifying colleagues are hurt so you can stay in good standing with the oppressors you consider the in-crowd at work.

We need y'all to hold your human resources department accountable for allowing homophobia and transphobia to be shoulder-shrug moments and not actionable offenses.

Trinkets and hollow platitudes mean nothing when your workplace reflects the world outside of it in the worst possible ways.

There's a list of things that do not look good with a rainbow motif.

Your company logo is at the top of that list.

Stand on something or let the month pass you by.