On Crate Walking, White Supremacy, and Reckless, Stupid, Dangerous Behavior

Y'all remember when people were out here tryin' t'walk up a pyramid of milk crates?

Image descriptions: the first image shows a woman of pallor precariously trying to scale a pyramid of milk crates. The second image shows the woman from the first image plummeting to the ground after the milk crate she was on failed to stay steady. In both pictures, people can be seen filming the fiasco with their cell phones.

Pepperidge Farms remembers.

That was some wild sh--, wasn't it? Just reckless, stupid, and dangerous behavior. And y’all was doin’ this nonsense in the middle of a pandemic! Like, bruh.

I remember at the time thinking, "Man, with everything going on, this is one of the dumbest, most dangerous thing I've seen people intentionally do in years." But now? It's not even in the top five reckless, stupid, and dangerous things I've seen people intentionally do in the last decade.

That distinction goes to everyone who voted for y'all's president and this current administration that thought they wouldn't get hurt by their idol who are still holding out hope that they'll be magically spared from the complete dismantling of the systems and protections that are keeping them alive and safe.

Just reckless, stupid, and dangerous behavior.

I would say you should've know better but a lot of y'all really thought you could walk up a stack of milk crates and come out unscathed so c'est la vie, eh?

[Image descriptions: the first image shows a woman of pallor precariously trying to scale a pyramid of milk crates. The second image shows the woman from the first image plummeting to the ground after the milk crate she was on failed to stay steady. In both pictures, people can be seen filming the fiasco with their cell phones.]

On Medicaid, Migrant Workers, and "They Took Our Jobs"

Today, y'all's president's Secretary of Agriculture, a woman of pallor named Brooke Rollins, said millions of adult Medicaid participants who will now face stricter work requirements under y'all's president's "big beautiful bill" should replace migrant farm workers deported under y'all's president's police state-level ICE-led immigration policies.

So the "solution" to addressing any issues with immigration in the United States and the damn-near slave labor work options that many migrants have when they come to the United States is to spend taxpayer dollars to continue mass terrorism deportations of the folx who work hard to ensure most of us have food in our supermarkets and replace those folx with people on Medicaid, forcing what they perceive and verbalize as "able bodied" Medicaid recipients to work for their medical benefits coverage (coverage that will already be ravaged by y'all's president's "big beautiful bill," mind you) or die.

This is what some of y'all wanted, right? Migrants and immigrants "took your jobs," right? Now is your time to shine!

Y'all ready to get to work like your life depended on it?

Because for many of y'all, it does.

MAGA, amirite?

#eternalsideeye

Image description: A picture of Brooke Rollins, the current United States Secretary of Agriculture, side-eyeing another woman of pallor. Rollins looks like she is trying to figure out how she can use her Karen powers to harm another Karen in real time.

[Image description: A picture of Brooke Rollins, the current United States Secretary of Agriculture, side-eyeing another woman of pallor. Rollins looks like she is trying to figure out how she can use her Karen powers to harm another Karen in real time.]

On Superman, "Wokeness," and Pro-Immigration

Me when the fragile people of pallor are freaking out about the upcoming Superman film being “woke” and having a pro-immigrant stance.

Image description: A montage of images of SpongeBob SquarePants laughing or trying to suppress laughter.

Oh, bless y’alls lil’ papier-mâché hearts.

Superman is a literal extraterrestrial (see: alien) whose parents sought out asylum for their child in a land where they believed he would be safe and cared for, as his homeworld was dying an explosive death due to, ironically, climate change.

Superman was created by two Jewish immigrants as an allegory for the experience of immigrants in the United States and the strength of the human spirit.

Superman has been punchin’ Nazis and sh—ty people since Action Comics #1. Dude literally worked over some slumlords in one of his earliest adventures and spent his first year battling crappy human beings. He’s always been about using his powers and privilege to protect those less fortunate and most vulnerable.

How so many of y’all don’t understand that Superman has always been what y’all describe as woke and pro-immigrant is beyond me.

It’s gotta be a case of widespread kryptonite poisoning.

[Image description: A montage of images of SpongeBob SquarePants laughing or trying to suppress laughter.]

On Juneteenth and Four-Day Weekends for People of Pallor

I will never feel OK about Juneteenth being a federal holiday.

It will never feel right to me that people of pallor pulled a performative flex to give themselves a day off to "celebrate" what is essentially the impacts of their ancestors' enslavement, exploitation, and subjugation of Black bodies on stolen land.

Trust me when I say that 90% of the people of pallor who have today off from work aren't learning, reflecting, or giving their time or money to support Black communities in their cities. I can guarantee most of 'em are using this as a four-day weekend.

Making Juneteenth a federal holiday was never about acknowledging the generational trauma inflicted on Black people, discussing and learning about the ongoing systemic struggles that Black bodies have endured on this stolen land for centuries, or observing the documented end of Black bodies forced into chattel slavery. Making Juneteenth a federal holiday was about people of pallor with power and positionality making themselves feel like "good people" through grandiose performative actions to curry favor from Black folx without having to put in the work necessary to atone for centuries of harm. But ultimately? Making Juneteenth a federal holiday was really about people of pallor with power and positionality making themselves feel like "good people" through grandiose performative actions to curry favor from other "good" people of pallor who want to feel good about themselves.

And knowing that will never allow Juneteenth's status as a federal holiday to feel right in my brain or body.

I wish they had just left it alone.

On "Straight Pride" and Hetero Toxicity

Me everytime someone brings up the idea of "Straight Pride," also known as EVERY DAMN DAY IN A WHITE SUPREMACIST HETERONORMATIVE HATEFUL SOCIETAL CULTURE.

Image description: A picture of the right arm and hand of the children's animated cartoon Arthur's main character, Arthur Read. His right hand is clenched into a fist.

I swear hetero cis male people be really in their feelings every June, acting like their existence is diminished because other people are celebrating their lives, resilience, and perseverence in the face of generation-spanning bigotry and oppression and the whims of weak-sauce people who haven't had fun or given their partners an orgasm in years.

How you can be a part of a dominant culture that celebrates your existence and is intentionally structured to cater to your need to feel superior and important yet still act like you're being victimized is beyond me. And doubly beyond me for the hetero cis male people whose skin looks like rotisserie chicken if they don’t wear sunscreen.

[Image description: A picture of the right arm and hand of the children's animated cartoon Arthur's main character, Arthur Read. His right hand is clenched into a fist.]