This Week's Opening Thought: November 11, 2024

This week’s opening thought: I’m a firm believer in the schadenfreude that comes with people effin’ around and finding out, but there is no joy to be found in the eff around and find out we’re all about to endure for the next four years because of how people decided to vote last week’s election—just pain and trauma.

I’m seeing all the stories and videos about people losing friends and family members, their marriages, chances at higher wages, potential citizenship, and employment because of how they decided to vote. I’m seeing the Google search results from the night of the election, which show hundreds of thousands of people looking up such things as “Are tariffs bad?” and “How can I change my vote?” well after they’ve already cast their ballots. I’m seeing small business owners who voted for this incoming administration realizing how these tariffs and tax cuts for billionaires are going to debilitate their businesses and freaking out, hoarding supplies and eliminating raises, bonuses, and even hiring. I’m seeing people saying their female, femme-identifying, and LGBTQIA+ friends and family members have walked away from them and are not coming back because of their voting decisions. I watched a video today with a Latine man upset that his neighbors of pallor, who voted for this current administration with the same level of glee that he did, refused to let their kids play with his son anymore and threatened to run them off with gunfire.

There’s no joy or amusement in any of this.

There's no “I told you so” moment.

There is no reveling in watching the leopards eat faces.

Just sadness and anger.

If it was someone’s ignorant personal decisions leading to personal consequences? That’s their cross to bear. I’m like, “Catch your L.” Depending on the situation, I might even chuckle and shake my head. But when tens of millions of U.S. voters make ignorant, bigotry-driven decisions based on blatant misinformation intent on stoking fear and insecurities that lead to long-term consequences for everyone in the country and place millions of people in danger?

It should never be eff around and everyone finds out, but y'all made that choice for all of us.

No schadenfreude, just uncertainty.

But, you know, make America great again.

On An Election and A Country's True Identity

I'm not surprised. I'm saddened, but I’m not surprised.

I'm unsurprised that 59% of men of pallor and 52% of women of pallor voted the way they did. I'm sadly not surprised that after everything he said and will do to immigrants when he takes office, he still got 54% of the masculine-identifying and 37% of the feminine-identifying Latine and Hispanic vote.

I'm saddened, but I’m not surprised.

I am disheartened but unsurprised.

I didn’t need a reminder, but for those who did, this election was a firm reminder that the United States is precisely what it has always been: a country steeped in individualism and fear of moving forward, unwilling to be progressive and care for all its citizens, and legitimately uninterested in trying to be the country it likes to claim it is.

He won this election, and it wasn't even close in the popular or electoral vote. A party with a platform of hate, oppression, and regression will be in complete control of the Government come January 2025, and it wasn't even a fight.

And I know so many of y'all voted for this man and this party while playin’ in the faces of the people in your life who you know their policies and governance will do extreme harm to. Most of y'all are quick to bust out a Black Lives Matter sign or bring up trans and reproductive rights just to have a smoke screen to vote against everyone’s best interests.

I loathe that most of y'all won’t own your hatred and fear of losing what you think is exclusively yours - rights, privileges, and safety from tyranny.

I loathe that most of y'all won’t own who you are in front of those your choices impact.

I loathe that most of y’all will be shocked when the people you elected do the exact things you hired them to do and you find yourself and your families adversely impacted and in physical, mental, emotional, and economic distress.

But I’m not surprised.

You're Americans! That's what Americans do, right?

I'm saddened. I'm disheartened. I'm not surprised, though.

This is the American way, y'all.

Note: This poll data is from a subsection of the voter base from 10 states.

This Week's Opening Thought: November 4, 2024

This week’s opening thought: If your response to people from underserved, invisible, and marginalized communities who find themselves constantly on the defensive who are struggling with the anxiety that comes with deep uncertainty about the future of this country post-Election Day is “I don’t know why everyone is so stressed,” “It’ll work itself out,” or “We made it through the last time he was President so we’ll make it through this time, too,” you are one of two things:

1. A person with a great deal of privilege who isn't emotionally mature enough to understand that everything isn’t hunky-dory just because you don't think what you perceive as your rights and freedoms or safety are at risk.

2. A person who legitimately doesn't care about those around you because you enjoy paddling around in a pool of racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, and ableism.

Real talk? Many of y'all are both, and it is not a good look.

I'm not in the business of telling people how to vote, especially during an election as divisive and multi-layered as this one. However, I will always speak truth to power regarding accountability for those who normalize the notion that everyone doesn't deserve rights, privileges, and the safety to exist and thrive.

Humans only thrive as a collective. Period. And by collective, I mean EVERY HUMAN BEING working together to ensure everyone is seen, heard, and supported in direct opposition to hate and oppression. You not caring about the collective is pure white supremacist heteronormative colonialist garbage. And if that is your stance, you need to be willing to vocally own said garbage as openly and eagerly as you toss out sentences like, “I wish everyone would chill out” during a supremely intense week in a country teetering on the brink of possibly irreparable harm for most of its citizens.

Check yourself.

On Black Jobs and Being "The Help"

One of the many things that people of pallor do that always hits a particular nerve in me is the seemingly unbridled desire or unconscious urge to automatically assume that Black and Brown folx, Indigenous people, and people of color are "the help" so they should be addressed as such.

A chunk of the generational trauma that people of pallor navigate the world carrying in their brains and bodies is built upon biases, stereotypes, and a belief that most jobs and tasks aren't worthy of being jobs people of pallor should have or tasks they should have to do. And there seems to be this innate inability to refrain from making jokes about people of color doing manual labor for people of pallor. Hell, chattel slavery was built on these ideals, so it's not surprising that this messiness is imprinted in the DNA of generations of people of pallor.

But just because it's not surprising doesn't make it any less oppressive or mean that people of pallor shouldn't unpack and unlearn this sh—.

This nonsense has happened to me my entire life. Most people of color, Black and Brown folx, and Indigenous folx deal with this in some capacity. I have been stopped while shopping dozens of times by people who think I'm "the help." It doesn't matter what kind of store I'm in or that store team members are usually in uniform with a name badge on their lapels – I still get pegged as "the help." I have been in shorts and flip-flops and still have people of pallor asking me where the Brita filters are.

It happens when I'm gardening and minding my business in my yard. I've had people of pallor ask me for my card because they "think I do good work." Many jokingly quip, "You can come down to my house and do my lawn next," "I've got some weeds you can pull," or some other "funny banter." These interactions occur at least once a week in the summer months and too many times to count throughout the year.

I can't even wash my car without dealing with this nonsense. I washed my car yesterday, and as I was detailing the tires and interior, some woman of pallor cheerfully said, "I'm going to pull my car up, and you can do mine next!" I looked at her, stone-faced, and quickly said, "No. Not today." She obviously didn't expect my response because she reacted like I spit at her feet before quickly complimenting the job I was doing and moseying her ass down the street.

Let's be real: there is nothing wrong with any job. All jobs have merit and are good jobs. I will never denigrate anyone's job. Jobs of all kinds keep the world moving forward. Thousands of jobs ensure our lives are collectively easier, safer, healthier, and a little more assessable at the behest of people's blood, sweat, and tears. But this inherent assumption that many people of pallor carry that some jobs are beneath them and that melanated people are always here to serve? It's preposterous.

There are no Black jobs, Karen. There are just jobs. Period.

Your white supremacy is showing.

You might wanna tuck that in.

This Week's Opening Thought: July 1, 2024

This week's opening thought: I call people in and out as needed. And I get called in and out, too. I'm not immune to being called in or out. I welcome it. I'm fallible, and sometimes, I need to get checked. I believe that part of being a decent person (not a "good" person, mind you, but a decent person. That "good person" schtick is christian values-driven patriarchal white supremacist nonsense in western culture) is being able to be called to task for your actions or behaviors and to learn from your missteps. I'll only kick it with those willing to call me in or out when I mess up and do harm. But real talk?

Some of you hold yourself to a different or non-existent standard of accountability and self-accountability, and it shows.

I have had to block a lot of folx lately—like, A LOT. And I'm usually not sad about that. Block and delete exist for a reason. But it's been a little bittersweet lately—I'd argue even a little sad. Why?

I've had to block a lot of people of color and intersectional folx lately.

I'm not naive. I know how patriarchal heteronormative white supremacist ideology works. I understand how self-loathing generated by centuries of generational trauma manifests. But it never feels OK to have to check melanated folx and intersectional folx who are so deeply entrenched in patriarchal white supremacist ideology that they are inherently tools of their oppressors.

I feel for them. I can't imagine what unresolved and unearthed traumas sit in their brains and bodies to engage in oppression willingly. To be willingly oppressive, to have hateful views in a world that has been conditioned to hate you for just existing, has to be quite the internal struggle. I can call them in. I can educate. I can empathize. I can also hope they find healing and wish them peace and mindfulness. But they can go find that peace and mindfulness somewhere way over there, away from me and mine, because it's no one's job to coddle someone and give them countless opportunities to do you, and other people harm when they refuse to unpack their sh--. People often show you who they are, and you have to eventually take in the messages you're receiving or become an accessory to their oppressive views and trauma.

You can't teach anyone who doesn't want to learn or believes they know everything or "enough," identities or ethnocultural heritage connections be damned.

Block 'em, delete 'em, and ask someone to burn some sage for their soul while they stand downwind so the smoke can hit their asses far away from your vicinity.

That's as close as you can get to saving someone's soul.