Day 11

Y'all's president blamed DEI for the unfortunate and fatal collision of an American Airlines passenger jet and a military helicopter.

You read that right - he blamed DEI.

Dozens died, their families grieving, after the deadliest U.S. air disaster in two decades, yet somehow, Black and Brown folx, queer folx, and people with disabilities are the reason this happened. Not the FAA being in disarray due to his executive orders; no, that can't be it. According to y'all's president, it has to be the Blacks, Latinos, and people with disabilities whom the FAA and airlines have hired "overqualified, intelligent" white cis male candidates.

Sounds about white.

He has no evidence of anything regarding diversity, equity, or inclusion having ANYTHING to do with this horrific tragedy, but, you know, white supremacy and bigotry have never had to have an excuse for levying out hate, even in the most inappropriate moments like, I don't know, people mourning the loss of their loved one.

60% of cis males of pallor and 53% of cis women of pallor voted for this. You voted for this lack of empathy and humanity. You voted for misinformation, deflection, and no accountability. You voted for a man who fired the heads of the TSA and the Coast Guard on his second day in office because he felt they were "too woke." You voted for a man who is so harmful that the previous head of the FAA resigned rather than serve under him (he was likely going to get fired like the heads of the TSA and Coast Guard). You voted for a man who gutted the Aviation Security Advisory Committee. What's that? Oh, just a bipartisan committee created to examine safety issues at airlines and airports. Before he disbanded the committee, the group included representatives of all the key groups in the aviation industry — including the airlines and major unions as well as representatives from groups that represented the families of people lost to airline bombings. The vast majority of the group’s recommendations were adopted over the years. But they don't really exist anymore.

Because, you know, DEI.

It's day 11, y'all.

How to Cook Like The People You Just Deported

Image description: a faux cover to a cookbook entitled, "How to Cook Like The People You Just Deported: Authentic Ethnic Flavors for Bigots who Don't Deserve Them."

It never shocks me how much ethnocultural impact communities of color, the Global Majority, Black and Brown folx, have on people of pallor and what they think is the "American way" of life.

There is no "U.S. culture" without melanin building its foundations and giving the whole thing flavor and life.

A whole lot of y'all hate AAPI communities, yet love your Christmas Day Chinese dinner.

A whole lot of y'all hate Black folx but love fried chicken, peanut butter, every bit of southern cuisine on the continent, and hundreds of dishes and food combinations created by Black folx as the original struggle meals that you now posit as "upscale cuisine."

A whole lot of y'all hate Indigenous communities but have stolen their fashion and cultural heritage to use as aesthetics to deck out your bodies and homes.

A whole lot of y'all hate Mexican, Hispanic, and Latine communities but enjoy the creature comforts of the food they harvest, cultivate, and grow.

But, you know, gon' 'head and deport and endanger the legitimate backbone of your country like it's not going to upend the comfy-ass multi-colored tapestry of an existence you live in and benefit from.

[Image description: a faux cover to a cookbook entitled, "How to Cook Like The People You Just Deported: Authentic Ethnic Flavors for Bigots who Don't Deserve Them."]

Day 5

I've lived in my house since 2012. I have lived around the same neighbors, give or take a few, since 2012. There's a woman of pallor whose house I've walked by at least 100 times in the twelve years I've lived in my neighborhood, whether on the way to doing something or just taking a stroll. This woman of pallor has seen me at least fifty times in those twelve years and has never spoken a word to me. Today, while pulling my garbage and recycling cans from the curb and into my backyard, this woman of pallor talked to me for the first time.

And she questioned me as if she was planning to call ICE to knock on my door.

This woman asked me my name, my MIDDLE NAME, if I owned my home or had children.

This woman has never said two words to me in twelve years.

She asked me all these questions and then tried to frame it with, "Well, you can never be certain. It's dangerous out here, so it's good to know who's in your neighborhood. With all this 'woke' stuff? You just never know. It wasn't like that in my day." She also tried to invoke her religious convictions, giving me her information and stating that God would not let her ask all these questions without introducing herself.

I guess Elizabeth Ann wanted me to know the name of the person likely to call ICE on me so I know who to thank when they show up at my door.

It's day five of what 60% of cis males of pallor and 53% of cis women of pallor voted for.

Five f'n days.

Five. Of 1,460.

Thanks, people of pallor. I'm feeling great. I've watched people I know and care about sit in fear with millions of other citizens over the past five days; as the world unravels around them, their rights and privileges begin to disappear, and the current administration does everything it can to deport them or threaten their existence. And now I get the added icing on the cake of being extra vigilant about having three forms of identification on my person whenever I leave my home while being prepared to defend people being harmed by hateful people and ICE agents.

Are we great again yet? Let me know when we're great again so I can circle the day on my calendar.

This Week's Opening Thought: December 9, 2024

This week’s opening thought: As a recovering codependent, I can tell you from experience that there are people from all walks of life who seek out codependent relationships to exploit. In that experience, I can honestly state that way too many people in positions of power in workplaces have a “knack” for finding the codependent people in their spaces and making them feel bad about not helping to “fix the problems” prevalent in the workplace. Those they seek out are, of course, never the people with the power and positionality needed to support and drive change. It’s always those who show up ready to serve and help others.

It's, unfortunately, a level of predatory behavior that we’ve been conditioned to accept that happens every day.

Some folx try to pass it off as delegating, but that's because using jargon as a smokescreen for abuses of power is a tale as old as time that we've also been forced or conditioned to accept.

Placing all of the responsibility on one or two codependent people to “fix” longstanding issues in a company is peak “we’re a family/in this together” energy.

I’m sure many of y’all are how I used to be: you see a problem, think of a solution, and want to get the folx in power to buy into your solution and support you. Then you’re disappointed when they place the sole responsibility of “fixing” their longstanding problems on you without support.

It’s time to stop being disappointed. You live and learn. It's time to pivot away from trying to fix everything. It's also time to acknowledge that these problems are technically not your problems.

Don’t let them make their problems into your problems.

You deserve better than being drained of your life force by people and institutions focused on not addressing issues and passing the buck while swearing they care about you. Real talk?

They would have already tried fixing the problems if they cared deeply about addressing them. They don’t care as much as you do. You can’t be the only one who cares about a broken situation. That’s a recipe for a slow mental, emotional, and physical death.

It won’t feel right initially, not trying to fix all the problems or pitch ideas. You’ll struggle, but I promise you’ll get through it. And when you do, you’ll have newfound clarity on what you can and cannot contribute and who will back you when you propose solutions.

You don’t have to be Captain Save ‘Em for places and people who only want to use you and drain your vitality.

Let them save themselves for a while.

This Week's Opening Thought: November 25, 2024

This week’s opening thought?

Image description: A picture of James and Florida Evans from the classic sitcom Good Times. They are giving someone the side-eye. Above them are the words, “How I’m looking at folks talking about now is the time to come together.”

THIS 👏🏾 RIGHT 👏🏾 HERE. 👏🏾

THIS ENERGY.

The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, “We may have all come on different ships, but we're in the same boat now. While there will always be some truth in that statement, and we might all be about to set sail on what appears to be the same raggedy, dangerous boat, let’s get one thing clear: we are not in the same boat right now.

Some of y'all are in the dingy while the rest of us are still paddling in lifeboats tied to the back of the dingy. Y'all just opted to add more sharks and leopards to the waters and arm them with scuba gear and jet packs.

Don’t get it twisted: we are NOT in this together.

So many of us are looking at losing our rights, the little bit of safety we have, our family and friends, and possibly our lives because so many of y’all chose white supremacy, racism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, misogyny, misogynoir and what you thought would be personal safety over the lives of others.

You don’t get to choose hate and oppression for others, realize you've been duped and will be harmed too because of your choices, and that those you decided to harm don't want anything to do with you; then insist now is the time for togetherness and get angry when those you’ve decided to harm don’t wanna get in the boat with you.

You chose for us not to come together.

You’re getting what you wanted.