This Week's Opening Thought: December 9, 2024

This week’s opening thought: As a recovering codependent, I can tell you from experience that there are people from all walks of life who seek out codependent relationships to exploit. In that experience, I can honestly state that way too many people in positions of power in workplaces have a “knack” for finding the codependent people in their spaces and making them feel bad about not helping to “fix the problems” prevalent in the workplace. Those they seek out are, of course, never the people with the power and positionality needed to support and drive change. It’s always those who show up ready to serve and help others.

It's, unfortunately, a level of predatory behavior that we’ve been conditioned to accept that happens every day.

Some folx try to pass it off as delegating, but that's because using jargon as a smokescreen for abuses of power is a tale as old as time that we've also been forced or conditioned to accept.

Placing all of the responsibility on one or two codependent people to “fix” longstanding issues in a company is peak “we’re a family/in this together” energy.

I’m sure many of y’all are how I used to be: you see a problem, think of a solution, and want to get the folx in power to buy into your solution and support you. Then you’re disappointed when they place the sole responsibility of “fixing” their longstanding problems on you without support.

It’s time to stop being disappointed. You live and learn. It's time to pivot away from trying to fix everything. It's also time to acknowledge that these problems are technically not your problems.

Don’t let them make their problems into your problems.

You deserve better than being drained of your life force by people and institutions focused on not addressing issues and passing the buck while swearing they care about you. Real talk?

They would have already tried fixing the problems if they cared deeply about addressing them. They don’t care as much as you do. You can’t be the only one who cares about a broken situation. That’s a recipe for a slow mental, emotional, and physical death.

It won’t feel right initially, not trying to fix all the problems or pitch ideas. You’ll struggle, but I promise you’ll get through it. And when you do, you’ll have newfound clarity on what you can and cannot contribute and who will back you when you propose solutions.

You don’t have to be Captain Save ‘Em for places and people who only want to use you and drain your vitality.

Let them save themselves for a while.

This Week's Opening Thought: November 25, 2024

This week’s opening thought?

Image description: A picture of James and Florida Evans from the classic sitcom Good Times. They are giving someone the side-eye. Above them are the words, “How I’m looking at folks talking about now is the time to come together.”

THIS 👏🏾 RIGHT 👏🏾 HERE. 👏🏾

THIS ENERGY.

The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, “We may have all come on different ships, but we're in the same boat now. While there will always be some truth in that statement, and we might all be about to set sail on what appears to be the same raggedy, dangerous boat, let’s get one thing clear: we are not in the same boat right now.

Some of y'all are in the dingy while the rest of us are still paddling in lifeboats tied to the back of the dingy. Y'all just opted to add more sharks and leopards to the waters and arm them with scuba gear and jet packs.

Don’t get it twisted: we are NOT in this together.

So many of us are looking at losing our rights, the little bit of safety we have, our family and friends, and possibly our lives because so many of y’all chose white supremacy, racism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, misogyny, misogynoir and what you thought would be personal safety over the lives of others.

You don’t get to choose hate and oppression for others, realize you've been duped and will be harmed too because of your choices, and that those you decided to harm don't want anything to do with you; then insist now is the time for togetherness and get angry when those you’ve decided to harm don’t wanna get in the boat with you.

You chose for us not to come together.

You’re getting what you wanted.

This Week's Opening Thought: November 18, 2024

This week's opening thought: Cowardly masked neo-nazis marched through Columbus, Ohio, this past Saturday, fully armed while spewing hateful rhetoric via megaphones and swinging swastika-adorned flags. This hate march came a week after another group of masked individuals were seen waving similar nazi flags outside a production of "The Diary of Anne Frank" in Howell, Michigan. In both cases, police were called by witnesses and citizens to intervene, but no charges were filed because, evidently, these incidents are not considered hate crimes.

To some of you - *cough* privileged people of pallor and those seeking approval from people of pallor *cough* - this may seem tame. You probably don't think of these kinds of things as hate crimes. But, to paraphrase Pepperidge Farms, most of the melanated folx in your community, workplace, and life, remember that this is how the hate train starts: little gestures to test the waters before the full-on wave of hate crimes erupts across the country.

Many of the melanated know what's on the horizon after an election that has emboldened hateful people of pallor to feel completely justified in their actions and immune to consequences. Their elected figurehead has made it clear time and again that he does not care about racism, hate crimes, and neo-nazi terrorism. Hell, their elected figurehead is planning to mobilize the military and declare a "state of emergency" on immigrants and naturalized citizens on his first day in office. And note that their elected figurehead ain't talkin' about immigrants of pallor.

It's clear where we are at and what's to come. We've been here before.

"It's just a flag."

"It's just words."

Right. Sure thing, buddy.

"It's just an election. We'll be OK. He won't do what he said he's going to do."

Yeah...no. Same energy as the other two statements.

Miss me with all of that, and KEEP missing me.

For many of us, we've been there, done that, and ain't trying to hear that this isn't the springboard for four-plus years of unrelenting hatred.

We're just getting ourselves ready to protect and defend ourselves, our communities, and our mental, physical, and emotional health from the likes of you and yours because it's either fight or perish.

And we don't perish easily.

On Cats, Dogs, Lies, and Hate

I watched a man who believes he should be President again, and who should've never been President in the first place, angrily shout that Haitian immigrants are eating people's pets in Ohio and that a town in Colorado is overrun and controlled by "terrorist gangs" during a presidential debate last night.

These are, of course, xenophobic and racist dog whistles steeped in fear-mongering and stereotypes, but the danger these kinds of comments pose to Black and Brown folx, to immigrants, cannot be stressed enough.

What that caricature of a man did last night is a white supremacist control tactic as old as time that has harmed generations of melanated folx and immigrants in Western society. The problem is that here we are, in the year of someone's lord, 2024, watching a nationally televised event that received international coverage with a man of pallor whose only skill in life is generating fear to gain power and who has millions of followers ready to eat it up like it's the gospel who truly believe immigrants and melanated folx are a clear and present danger to their families, communities, and evidently, pets when they are the least likely sections of the citizenry to commit crimes and less likely to commit violent crimes.

But who needs facts when you can vilify melanated folx? Your grandpappy did it, and your pappy did it, so why not you too?

These hateful "fables" don't pass the sniff test.

But nothing has to pass the sniff test when your race has been collectively raised and bred for generations to believe that anyone who has melanin in their skin is a threat to "white democracy."

On Having Concepts of A Plan

Only a privileged man of pallor can say, "I have concepts of a plan" around a hot-button issue that impacts millions of people while interviewing for the most challenging job in the country that he's already proven to be ineffective in and still have millions of followers who bow to him like he's the next coming.

Do you think I can I go to work tomorrow and tell my leaders that I have the concept of a plan when they ask me about my work progress on a project they've been waiting on for weeks, and they will accept that as a feasible answer?

Do you think I can answer a question at a job interview with "I have the concepts of a plan" and be seen as a serious and competent candidate?

Bruh.

The bar is so low for people of pallor in Western culture. Especially men of pallor.

These are y'all's kings?

It would be funny if it wasn't at the heart of a centuries-long threat to democracy and the ongoing health and safety of melanated communities.