On Write-Ups, "Performance Improvement Plans," "Managers," and "Leaders"

Write-ups and "performance improvement plans" exist because most "managers" don't know how to have adult, human, centered conversations with their team members to address issues in real-time and view being vulnerable and connected to their team members and colleagues as weaknesses.

Most write-ups and "performance improvement plans" address things that should've been, and still could be, addressed in a one-on-one, actively engaged conversation and regularly scheduled 1:1s.

If most "managers" and "leaders" used write-ups and "performance improvement plans" as human-centered support tools after exhausting all means of straightforward communication instead of weapons to force compliance, we'd be having different conversations about work.

If most "managers" and "leaders" used write-ups and "performance improvement plans" as a means to remove toxic, oppressive, racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, ableist people from the workplace, we'd be having VERY different conversations about work.

Don't @ me. Tell me when I'm tellin' lies.

This Week's Opening Thought: February 19, 2024

This week's opening thought: Me watching people of pallor get enraged over Beyonce making country music:

Who wants to tell 'em who they can thank for country music even existing? Does anybody wanna tell 'em how country music rhythms, structures, instrumentation, and storytelling are all rooted in African hymnals and folktales? Please, somebody, tell 'em so I can watch them stimmer, stammer, get overwhelmed, and explode like a Power Rangers monster! 😂

I swear people of pallor seem to adore claiming ownership of things they didn't create but decided were theirs to own, only to get indignant when those who created their new "property" choose to update the leasing agreement.

It's hilarious to me that most of y'all can't get your head around how many of the things you love and claim ownership over only exist because of Black, Brown, Indigenous, and melanated communities. That includes the music you believe is the "voice of your people." Five minutes ago, Beyonce was your "spirit animal" (put a pin in that, 'cause we're gonna talk about that soon). As soon as she announced she was making country music? All your mediocre insecurities came pouring out because you know deep down in your loins that she's about to show y'all how it's done, and your fragility can't take it. Suddenly, millions of people of pallor are country music experts! Would you look at that? How precious! 🤣 That Black ownership got y'all armchair quarterbackin'! But the problem with armchair quarterbackin' is that you often know little to nothing of what you act like you're an expert on. This is another one of those moments.

I'll add it to y'all's tab.

This visible lack of education rooted in racism on y'all's part isn't always laughable, so when it is, I allow myself a nice, hearty chuckle.

I might even allow myself a dosey-doe, too.

Do better.

[Video description: an clip of the late comedian Charlie Murphy bursting into a fit of hysterical laughter. Other Black men are nearby, joining in on the hilarious outburst.]

The Old, Two-Headed, Pale Elephant in the Room

So, let’s talk about the old, two-headed, pale elephant in the room.

The push for voting for the incumbent over the previous President is underway. And the “pick the incumbent because he’s not the worst pick” crowd is deafening. Equally loud is the “they both are equally horrible” crowd. The vote-shaming is likely right around the corner. So, let’s talk about it.

Real talk? They’re not similarly horrible choices, but neither one offers a choice that brings me joy.

And frankly? I’m tired of choosing between a sh— sandwich and a sh— and arsenic sandwich.

The incumbent isn’t the safe bet, because he still supports genocide and has a plethora of non-murderous weaknesses that don’t necessarily support a lot of communities, but we’re all supposed to get OK with voting for him because the other guy is an aspiring dictator?

It sucks.

I’m exhausted by round two of this white toxic masculinity political nonsense, especially because people of pallor have overwhelmingly voted for the wannabe dictator the past two election cycles and will likely do so again. So, once again, it’ll be up to Black people, communities of color, and LGBTQIA+ communities to pick the lesser of two evils and “save” a democracy that doesn’t care if we survive or exist.

I’m begrudgingly voting for the incumbent but I’m tired and unhappy with all of it. My choice, our options, this country, all of it.

I know I’m not the only one.

And because I know I'm not the only one, I'm not going to tell anyone how they should vote or shame anyone for not voting. I implore the people of pallor out there not to vote for the aspiring dictator, but I know that's a waste of energy so my side-eye for y'all stays eternal. Either way, do what you believe you must and own your decision.

May the odds be forever in some of our favor.

And may the unserved and mistreated not have to save the world for the umpteenth time.

This Week's Opening Thought: February 12, 2024

This week's opening thought: It will always amuse me that every February, I get an influx of people of pallor sending me emails and DMs looking for free teaching moments. It doesn't surprise me. I get emails and DMs like this from people of pallor 365 days a year, seeking free emotional labor or seeking to use me like a search engine. But there's something about how people of pallor try to turn on the charm during Black History Month to get free labor from Black bodies that borders on comical while being reminiscent of everything their ancestors have done to Black bodies for centuries (and that many of them still perpetuate).

The compliments are more flowery.

The praise of my work sounds like they ran it through Grammarly for a tone check.

They almost always start their messages with a brief blurb, letting me know they've been following me for years and appreciate my work.

The things they ask me for oscillate between seeking justification for their actions, some form of forgiveness for what they've said or done to Black bodies, or information they could find themselves if they decided to shift even 50% of the energy they used to message me into doing something themselves.

And, of course, they never offer financial compensation of any kind.

But there's a bonus portion they tend to add to their messages in February: they acknowledge everything mentioned above.

People of pallor will send me messages every February admitting that they know they're asking me to do emotional support work, assuage their guilt for being white supremacists, or do all the research they should be doing to continue their learning for them, yet still ask me to do it and expect it all for free. Some even go so far as to acknowledge that they know they should pay me but hope I'm willing to share myself with them regardless.

Face? Meet palm.

I love the celebration that is Black History Month, but I can't wait until March 1st comes around so y'all can go back to your regularly scheduled white supremacy and anti-Blackness. I don't love any part of that sh-- either, but at least it's better than 28-29 days of faux niceties steeped in "plantation master" histrionics and pack mule load-bearing expectations.

On Toby, Death, Legacy, and Rewrites

TW: mentions of racism, homophobia, and xenophobia.

So, I posted about Toby Keith on one of my other social media platforms, and whew! Some folx (read: people of pallor) weren't too keen on it. One person (read: cishet man of pallor) went as far as posting, "Way to kick a man when he's down."

I get it. He died. He likely died a painful death. And that sucks. I'm sure his family is grieving. One part of my humanity feels for them (I'm not a heartless monster). Maybe talking about his "accomplishments" (read: being a hateful person with a public platform) when he's barely been gone a week is cold. Some might say that's ice cold. Frigid. Mortal Kombat Sub Zero-level frosty. But you know what?

There's a lot I will never be sure of in this life- life is fickle like that. But one thing I can be sure of is that when I die, there won't be a ticker-tape parade of happiness that I'm no longer here or a notion that the world will be a little safer without me in it.

Think about it: if your death is a cause for celebration for any marginalized, invisible, and unserved community targeted by hate, you're likely on the wrong side of, well, everything. History, decency, everything.

Collectively, we must quit looking at a person's life's work to cherry-pick the things that work for whatever narrative works with our worldviews - views often obscured through generations of hate and toxic norms. I know people of pallor and societal culture are usually keen on re-writing and re-crafting history and "looking at the positives." But when a person's life's work is aimed at harming others, and their work becomes anthems for hate, racism, homophobia, and xenophobia? Help me see how the positives outweigh the negatives enough to disregard harm.

No one is perfect. We all have flaws. But when the things people defend as your "flaws" are evidence that you're a deplorable human being who used their public platform to traffic in pain, racism, homophobia, and xenophobia, maybe the people you've targeted with said public platform ain't gonna feel so bad when your red Solo cup tips over and spills everywhere for the final time.

Just sayin'.

[Image description: An image of a gathering of Black men. Most are staring into the distance, witnessing something messed up. The Black man in the foreground is holding a Solo cup, looking toward the viewer with a "damn" expression on their face. The man walks away from the scene shaking his head and muttering, “Damn.”]

[Image description: An image of a gathering of Black men. Most are staring into the distance, witnessing something messed up. The Black man in the foreground is holding a Solo cup, looking toward the viewer with a "damn" expression on their face. The man walks away from the scene shaking his head and muttering, “Damn.”]