People of pallor virtue signaling and trying desperately to be viewed as “allies” during celebrations of non-white cultures and heritages like Black History Month:

[Image description: a concrete wall plastered with non-artistic graffiti. Sprayed on the wall in black letters is an attempt at writing “Be the change.” The wall is actually tagged with the words “Be the chage.”]

[Image description: a concrete wall plastered with non-artistic graffiti. Sprayed on the wall in black letters is an attempt at writing “Be the change.” The wall is actually tagged with the words “Be the chage.”]

A Black History Month Message

Image description: a picture of Laurence Fishburne in his role as Ike Turner from the Tina Turner biopic, "What's Love Got to Do With It." He is side-eyeing the viewer with a "try me" expression emblazoned across his face.

Hey, unmelanated people. This is Pharoah. You know, that guy whose social media posts you report all the time for “hate speech.” Yep - that guy. I'm glad I could jog your memory!

Anyhoo, as a living, breathing, Black person, I wanted to take a moment on this, the first day of Black History Month, during the shortest month of the year, to give y'all a little educational reminder that as people of pallor, your role this month is to listen, learn, unlearn, and implement that learning into every aspect of your life. It is not your job to virtue signal, appropriate "out of appreciation for Black culture," or post anything on any Black person's page trying to teach them something about Black history. It is not your responsibility to offer hot takes on Black folx's business. I don't want to hear about your "transcendent" experience seeing Beyonce on tour. I don't want to hear about the segregation documentary you watched on Netflix. Not one Black person wants to hear or see any of this from you for the next 29 days.

Your role for the next 29 days is, to paraphrase The Rock, know your role, and shut your mouth.

Period.

No debate.

No sidebars or questions.

Try Jesus. Don't try me. I will make sure everyone sees you as an example of how to avoid conducting yourself during the month of February.

Keep your mouth shut and your mind open to learning and unlearning all the nonsense, stereotypes, and vitriol you've been fed about Black people.

Go ahead. Give it a try. I guarantee it'll change your life. Or at least create one less anti-Black moment for your Black colleagues, "friends," and neighbors to endure.

You should be practicing this every damn day anyway, but I see y'all constantly doing the opposite, so...yeah.

And I betta not see nan one of y'all tryin' to sing "Lift Ev'ry Voice and Sing."

Probably gonna be soundin' like Taylor Swift singin' Earth, Wind, and Fire.

[Image description: a picture of Laurence Fishburne in his role as Ike Turner from the Tina Turner biopic, "What's Love Got to Do With It." He is side-eyeing the viewer with a "try me" expression emblazoned across his face.]

Image description: A picture of a cute brown dog giving its owner the side-eye. The picture is captioned, "Me watching members of the interview panel talk to an interviewee about how diversity, equity, and inclusion mean so much to them and the company when I'm on the HR team watching everyone who isn't at the intersections of being white, cis-presenting, able-bodied, and championing white supremacist ideologies leave the company for the same reasons."

BRUH. Don't even invite me to be on the interview panel. That kind of foolish decision-making will only make it harder for both of us to get through the interview.

My side-eye is always unhindered.

I'm amazed at how many interview panels I've been on in my career where interviewers try their hardest to talk about the company like it's the dawn of a new day, often while people who have recently been harmed by the company's culture and its emissaries are expected to smile and talk the place up. Like, I get not wanting to sandbag the company. I get it. But the number of lies interviewers often tell in interviews to avoid having to be remotely honest about things not being 100% copacetic are the reasons why so many folx from unserved and melanated communities job hop so often.

It's why companies have horrific retention rates.

It's why most companies are unsafe places for so many people to work.

And it's why many workplaces focus so hard on the spin rather than legitimately doing better.

It's easier to sell harm if you gloss over it with bells, whistles, and fallacies to check a recruitment box.

I feel fortunate not to be part of interview panels at this juncture of my career. I used to tell people exactly what they were getting into, y'all. No joke. And believe me when I say that I've paid for not being willing to contribute to someone's harm. Financially, emotionally, mentally. But I just couldn't shut up in those moments. I couldn't watch people make the mistakes I made in joining these dangerous environments for a paycheck.

I had a white cis female supervisor once who said to me that I needed to be willing to allow others to make their own decision on employment, even if they were walking into a harmful culture. Any faith I had in her flew out the window and exploded like a released dove into the engine of a passing airplane. I had shared my concerns with her about this for a year, watching the revolving door of melanin and queer identities come and go. Her advice was not to get in the trenches and address the matter but to shoulder shrug and play along.

Suffice it to say I stopped sharing much with her at that point.

I'm glad I'm not placed in that co-dependency space anymore, but it doesn't make knowing people who look like you are entering potentially harmful situations feel any better.

Pro tip: If you feel the interview panel is telling you what they think you want to hear, please take the hint if you can. You deserve not to be walked into a trauma trap.

[Image description: A picture of a cute brown dog giving its owner the side-eye. The picture is captioned, "Me watching members of the interview panel talk to an interviewee about how diversity, equity, and inclusion mean so much to them and the company when I'm on the HR team watching everyone who isn't at the intersections of being white, cis-presenting, able-bodied, and championing white supremacist ideologies leave the company for the same reasons."]

Image description: a quartet of images depicting a woman of pallor looking confused and contemplative. Around the woman's head is a series of algebraic and geometric equations floating in the ether. The images are accompanied by the caption, "People who quoted and misquoted the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., on Monday, doing the math on how many days after MLK Day they have to wait before going back to being openly oppressive, anti-Black, and racist."

Some of y'all couldn't even make it 24 hours before y'all devolved back to your regular forms.

[Image description: a quartet of images depicting a woman of pallor looking confused and contemplative. Around the woman's head is a series of algebraic and geometric equations floating in the ether. The images are accompanied by the caption, "People who quoted and misquoted the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., on Monday, doing the math on how many days after MLK Day they have to wait before going back to being openly oppressive, anti-Black, and racist."]

This Week's Opening Thought: January 8, 2024

Image description: A picture of a Nintendo Wii video game console jutting from the top of a cardboard box. The box has the words "this together" scrawled on one panel in black marker. The image is preceded by the phrase, "My brain when people of pallor in leadership roles are like, "We are in this together!"

This week's opening thought for people of pallor in leadership roles: No, we are not "in this together." No matter what you say or how you say it, you will not sway me into believing that when it comes to equity, active anti-racism, anti-oppression, and dismantling white supremacy, we are "in this together." We cannot be "in this together" because we do not share the same stakes and potential consequences while "in this."

Your life isn't at stake. Your livelihood and career aren't at stake. Your safety on multiple levels is not at stake. And all that is something that so many "well-meaning" un-melanated professionals with power and positionality in organizations don't want to digest and understand.

You can't be my ally, accomplice, homey, advocate, friend, acquaintance, or nothing without being willing to legitimately understand and acknowledge that we are "in this together" while on two separate train tracks of your ancestor's creation going in the same direction. Most of y'all prefer the tracks to be running adjacent to one another because y'all ain't ready to build a track connector to come over to our track and learn, unlearn, and unpack your indoctrination into white supremacist ideology. You want to be able to occasionally look over from your train car to watch the trauma unfold, then pull your shade down and continue enjoying the ride. You only want to know of our pain enough to say that you know on the most surface levels.

Hit me up when you're ready and willing to be "in this together" beyond a sentence that sounds nice coming out of your mouth that strokes your indoctrination into the good/bad binary.

Until you do right by me, may you suck at Mario Kart 'til infinity and beyond.

[Image description: A picture of a Nintendo Wii video game console jutting from the top of a cardboard box. The box has the words "this together" scrawled on one panel in black marker. The image is preceded by the phrase, "My brain when people of pallor in leadership roles are like, "We are in this together!"]