This Week's Opening Thought: February 12, 2024

This week's opening thought: It will always amuse me that every February, I get an influx of people of pallor sending me emails and DMs looking for free teaching moments. It doesn't surprise me. I get emails and DMs like this from people of pallor 365 days a year, seeking free emotional labor or seeking to use me like a search engine. But there's something about how people of pallor try to turn on the charm during Black History Month to get free labor from Black bodies that borders on comical while being reminiscent of everything their ancestors have done to Black bodies for centuries (and that many of them still perpetuate).

The compliments are more flowery.

The praise of my work sounds like they ran it through Grammarly for a tone check.

They almost always start their messages with a brief blurb, letting me know they've been following me for years and appreciate my work.

The things they ask me for oscillate between seeking justification for their actions, some form of forgiveness for what they've said or done to Black bodies, or information they could find themselves if they decided to shift even 50% of the energy they used to message me into doing something themselves.

And, of course, they never offer financial compensation of any kind.

But there's a bonus portion they tend to add to their messages in February: they acknowledge everything mentioned above.

People of pallor will send me messages every February admitting that they know they're asking me to do emotional support work, assuage their guilt for being white supremacists, or do all the research they should be doing to continue their learning for them, yet still ask me to do it and expect it all for free. Some even go so far as to acknowledge that they know they should pay me but hope I'm willing to share myself with them regardless.

Face? Meet palm.

I love the celebration that is Black History Month, but I can't wait until March 1st comes around so y'all can go back to your regularly scheduled white supremacy and anti-Blackness. I don't love any part of that sh-- either, but at least it's better than 28-29 days of faux niceties steeped in "plantation master" histrionics and pack mule load-bearing expectations.

People of pallor virtue signaling and trying desperately to be viewed as “allies” during celebrations of non-white cultures and heritages like Black History Month:

[Image description: a concrete wall plastered with non-artistic graffiti. Sprayed on the wall in black letters is an attempt at writing “Be the change.” The wall is actually tagged with the words “Be the chage.”]

[Image description: a concrete wall plastered with non-artistic graffiti. Sprayed on the wall in black letters is an attempt at writing “Be the change.” The wall is actually tagged with the words “Be the chage.”]

Image description: a quartet of images depicting a woman of pallor looking confused and contemplative. Around the woman's head is a series of algebraic and geometric equations floating in the ether. The images are accompanied by the caption, "People who quoted and misquoted the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., on Monday, doing the math on how many days after MLK Day they have to wait before going back to being openly oppressive, anti-Black, and racist."

Some of y'all couldn't even make it 24 hours before y'all devolved back to your regular forms.

[Image description: a quartet of images depicting a woman of pallor looking confused and contemplative. Around the woman's head is a series of algebraic and geometric equations floating in the ether. The images are accompanied by the caption, "People who quoted and misquoted the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., on Monday, doing the math on how many days after MLK Day they have to wait before going back to being openly oppressive, anti-Black, and racist."]

This Week's Opening Thought: January 8, 2024

Image description: A picture of a Nintendo Wii video game console jutting from the top of a cardboard box. The box has the words "this together" scrawled on one panel in black marker. The image is preceded by the phrase, "My brain when people of pallor in leadership roles are like, "We are in this together!"

This week's opening thought for people of pallor in leadership roles: No, we are not "in this together." No matter what you say or how you say it, you will not sway me into believing that when it comes to equity, active anti-racism, anti-oppression, and dismantling white supremacy, we are "in this together." We cannot be "in this together" because we do not share the same stakes and potential consequences while "in this."

Your life isn't at stake. Your livelihood and career aren't at stake. Your safety on multiple levels is not at stake. And all that is something that so many "well-meaning" un-melanated professionals with power and positionality in organizations don't want to digest and understand.

You can't be my ally, accomplice, homey, advocate, friend, acquaintance, or nothing without being willing to legitimately understand and acknowledge that we are "in this together" while on two separate train tracks of your ancestor's creation going in the same direction. Most of y'all prefer the tracks to be running adjacent to one another because y'all ain't ready to build a track connector to come over to our track and learn, unlearn, and unpack your indoctrination into white supremacist ideology. You want to be able to occasionally look over from your train car to watch the trauma unfold, then pull your shade down and continue enjoying the ride. You only want to know of our pain enough to say that you know on the most surface levels.

Hit me up when you're ready and willing to be "in this together" beyond a sentence that sounds nice coming out of your mouth that strokes your indoctrination into the good/bad binary.

Until you do right by me, may you suck at Mario Kart 'til infinity and beyond.

[Image description: A picture of a Nintendo Wii video game console jutting from the top of a cardboard box. The box has the words "this together" scrawled on one panel in black marker. The image is preceded by the phrase, "My brain when people of pallor in leadership roles are like, "We are in this together!"]

This Week's Opening Thought: July 17, 2023

This week's opening thought: I'm very explicit with sharing with other white people that I have six white friends. The few white people I consider good friends are around because they are invested in the lifelong work needed to be better people. They are actively anti-racist, humble, and can take being called in or out if they drop the ball without positing themselves as victims and turning on the tears. Real talk?

I only kick it with real ones.

Real ones don't view their relationships with melanated folx as some form of credibility for doing the bare minimum to not be "as" racist. Real ones don't collect melanated folx as a defense for being racist (see: I have a Black Friend). And real ones don't expect the Global Majority folx they know to defend their white supremacist, racist, and anti-Black rhetoric, beliefs, and behaviors when someone calls them in or out.

To the white people who know me in some capacity personally and expect me to protect or save them from getting checked: you want to swim out into the deep waters of white supremacy and anti-Blackness? You can go for it. But you best wear some floaties because I ain't David Hasselhoff. The only bay watching that's gonna happen is me sitting on the dock of the bay watching you sink. I don't care how long you've known me; I will never defend you when the thing you want me to protect you from is atoning for your hateful beliefs, actions, and rhetoric toward the melanated masses and my people. And if that is your expectation for our relationship?

Time to bone up on your breaststroke and butterfly.

And to the white people who know me offline: if you have to ask if you are one of the six? You aren't. And we're currently not accepting applications.

Image description: a four-panel meme. In the first panel, a white hand reaches out of an ocean, looking for help. Next to the hand is the caption, "White people I know hoping I'll defend them when they do or say something racist because they think we're close friends." The second panel shows a hand with a chocolate hue reaching toward the white hand. The third panel shows the chocolate-toned hand giving the white hand a high five. The chocolate-toned hand is captioned with the word "Me." The fourth panel shows the white hand sinking underwater with a few fingers still cracking the surface.

[Image description: a four-panel meme. In the first panel, a white hand reaches out of an ocean, looking for help. Next to the hand is the caption, "White people I know hoping I'll defend them when they do or say something racist because they think we're close friends." The second panel shows a hand with a chocolate hue reaching toward the white hand. The third panel shows the chocolate-toned hand giving the white hand a high five. The chocolate-toned hand is captioned with the word "Me." The fourth panel shows the white hand sinking underwater with a few fingers still cracking the surface.]