On "Allyship Lists" and Barry White Songs

August 04, 2022 by Pharoah Bolding in White Supremacy, Inclusion, Equity

Too many white "professionals" love to tell other white people how to be "allies" while not being "allies" themselves.

Y'all love posting your lists of "things to do to be an ally" while you appropriate melanated people's cultures for your hair, clothes, and aesthetics.

Y'all love chastising other white people for not standing up and speaking out while not standing up or speaking out when your supervisors and co-workers hand out intersectional micro-aggressions and anti-Black rhetoric like party favors to your colleagues of color.

Y'all love telling other white people that they must listen to Black, Brown, Indigenous, Asian, and Pacific Islander voices. Then y'all proceed to shut down Black voices, speak over melanated folx in discussions, go on the defensive when called in or out by melanated folx, and make sure you stay far away from the idea of paying people of color for their time and teachings.

Maybe y'all need to listen to some Barry White. Maybe then y'all could practice what you preach.

Who All Gon' Be There?: A Case For Not Working In Person If You Don't Have To

July 31, 2022 by Pharoah Bolding in White Supremacy, Human Resources, Workplace Culture

I've been doing HR "professionally" for ten years. In that time, I've seen dozens of harmful and hateful people in leadership roles in almost every industry harass, sexually harass, verbally, and physically threaten their team members. I've witnessed blatant and aggressive racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, and ableism by "leaders" who always asked for "diverse" candidates to fill their high turnover departments. I've watched as these "leaders" have created unsafe work environments for people from all walks of life who didn't fit their "like me" bias box. When I have called out these "leaders" for their actions, I have sat and watched as these "leaders" have gone out of their way to make my life a living hell to force me out of what they've deemed their workplaces.

And I know I'm not the only one this has happened to in those workplaces.

I've seen those who have been harmed be forced to leave the workplaces where these dangerous "leaders" call themselves leading because the organizations refuse to hold their attackers accountable. They've all said some version of the same sentences to me on their way out of these organizations:

"I couldn't keep doing this every day, Pharoah. I'm tired. I was starting to dread Mondays. I know you tried to help me, but they're doing the same thing to you."

Most of those "leaders" still have their jobs.

If you ever wonder why so many people, if they have the privilege to, want to avoid being physically in the workplace at this point, read all of the words above and then layer them over everything that was going on in your workplace before COVID-19.

Most of those "leaders" still have their jobs.

There's a reason Black folx ask people, "Who all gon' be there?" That's to feel out if we're being asked to go to a place where we can and will be harmed. We want to know if it's going to be some nonsense poppin' off with some messy people so we can avoid the situation. At this point, if these "leaders" are still gon' be there in the physical office space?

We good.

We ALL good.

On Independence, White Apathy Masquerading as Empathy, Black Bodies and Policing

July 03, 2022 by Pharoah Bolding in White Supremacy, Black Lives Matter, Anti-Blackness, Equity

TW: anti-Blackness, murder, police violence.

To white “professionals”:

Jayland Walker.

Say his name.

Quit acting like the murder of Black bodies at the hands of the police isn’t a regular part of U.S. American life. You know better than that by now.

Quit questioning why this keeps happening. You already know the answers to these questions.

Quit offering condolences or making performative social media posts. There ain’t enough black squares and “we need to do better” posts in the world that will ever supplant white people taking legitimate action to unwrap the lack of accountability and white supremacist ideology the U.S. was built on.

Quit watching and sharing the video of Jayland being shot by Akron, Ohio police more than 60 times. It’s not the “liberal” flex you think it is. No one needs to watch that pain. You sharing the video of that pain is a symbol of your lack of care for Black people’s trauma.

Quit thinking the Black people in your workplace or community only need a few days to heal and will be OK because they have the 4th of July off and/or a 3-day weekend. Most of us haven’t healed from the last murder by police in our cities or in this country, let alone everything else that has transpired lately in this country. And most of us hate the 4th of July. We’re using it as a day to stay the hell away from y’all and get into a headspace where we can exist for a few days at work around y’all to get back to another weekend so we heal some more.

Quit doing all of the above and start asking yourself why you do all of the above. And unpack that sh— on your time. Don’t put the labor of your messy white supremacist sh— on Black folx as your white fragility/violence sounding boards.

Enjoy your ribs and your small explosives that harm veterans and pets.

Independence.

On White Women, Handmaids, and (Maybe) Stepping Up

June 30, 2022 by Pharoah Bolding in White Supremacy, Women Empowerment, Trans Rights, Race Talks, LGBTQIA Rights, Oppression Olympics, Anti-Blackness

As we end June 2022 and wind down Pride Month and Juneteenth celebrations, we walk away from a month of tumult with a hazy horizon in front of us. I’ve seen a lot of joy and pride in embracing oneself and celebrating culture and perseverance in the face of hate and oppression.

That joy and pride conflicted with the hard-to-miss fact that the United States is trending toward becoming more dangerous and harmful to most of its citizenry than it already is.

As Roe v. Wade was overturned, as the religious right began its long-gestating power play to obliterate the line between church and state, I’ve seen many white people shocked at what’s happening around them. Many white women are suddenly distraught at the future ahead of us if the citizenry doesn’t collectively stand up and fight for rights and safety. Bodily autonomy is officially on the chopping block, and the future of women’s rights and reproductive health looks a little murky. I’ve seen many white women with tears in their eyes, sharing their stories of needing reproductive health access and saying their eyes are now open. They’re proclaiming they’re ready to stand up and fight on every social media platform they can find. Because I’m human, I can feel for those white women and their fear and anxiety, at least a little bit. But as a Black man in the United States?

They can miss me with their shock.

And they can Matrix miss me with those tears.

In the 2020 election, among White women, according to NBC News, 43 percent supported Biden, and 55 percent supported Trump. There was little meaningful change from 2016 when the same exit poll showed that 43 percent of White women supported Clinton and 52 percent supported Trump. Other significant polling data found the same or similar percentages, give or take a couple of percentage points.

You can miss me with those tears, white women.

More white women are in the U.S. House and Senate than at any point in United States history. They are primarily Republican, and a sizable portion of them are Christian conservatives. Those who are Democrats are mostly moderate or centrist in their voting habits. And most of them have voting records that set the stage for everything we’ve seen over the past week by supporting and enabling white supremacist and oppressive policies, bills, and laws.

On top of all those mentioned above, Black women and Black, Brown, and Indigenous movements have warned white women of the dangers of aligning with white supremacist patriarchal values since before the Women’s suffrage movement. We’ve stressed the need for understanding the intersectional impacts of siding with whiteness and white Christian dogma over the unethical and hateful treatment of women and people with uteruses in the United States.

You can miss me with those tears.

You have nothing to be shocked about, white women. What are you shocked about? That the safety you thought you had by aligning yourself with white patriarchal nonsense doesn’t exist? You thought they were only coming after the “colored women?” You thought these repeals and Supreme Court decisions would skip you as a white woman and oppress everyone else?

That’s a dangerous game to play, white women.

But you already knew that, and many of you played it anyway.

You played the game, lost, and now it’s time to do more than cry. Mourn a little. Mourn the loss of your conscious obliviousness. Feel the weight of the moment. Begin processing the trauma and anxiety of it all.

Then step your asses up to the plate and fight for EVERYONE. Not just for white women. Not just for white people with uteruses.

For ALL people with uteruses.

For ALL women.

Are you going to step up now? Or will you keep comparing the current state of things to the Handmaid’s Tale and posting your personal stories for sympathy while levying microaggressions toward Black women who aren’t coddling you now?

If I shake my Magic 8-Ball, something tells me all signs will point to no.

How about you prove me wrong?

On Stereotypes, AAPI Communities, Generational Trauma, and Divisions Created by White Supremacy

June 08, 2022 by Pharoah Bolding in Race Talks, White Supremacy

I want to take a minute today to touch on anti-Blackness from AAPI communities operating within the confines of white supremacist ideology. And I'm only going to take a minute because I have better things to do with my time and energy today than to unpack all of this for free.

Many people of color, a lot of folx from AAPI communities, have demonstrated their anti-Blackness to me or in front of me on numerous occasions. They tend to jump on my posts about my experiences with racism and white supremacy and aim to check or educate me. The goal is to silence me or scold me. If I'm honest, these incidents are pretty regular occurrences, and there are too many to count. While white folx tend to be the largest segment of people who wield their white supremacy to "check me," the runners-up are Japanese, Korean, and Chinese professionals. I talk more about the anti-Blackness I receive from white folx than from Japanese, Korean, and Chinese communities, as white comments and incidents are daily and Japanese, Korean, and Chinese comments and incidents are weekly. But we're going to talk about it today because I woke up to the post you see below this morning in response to Monday’s opening thought post.

I know the "model minority" myth and the pain it has caused for so many AAPI communities. I understand, and I'm always learning more layers of the generational trauma that many AAPI communities are grappling with at the hands of white supremacy. I also know how many folx from AAPI communities have adopted white supremacist ideologies to survive in a hostile, white-centric world. And because of this, even when you aim your hate at me, I still feel compassion for you. Why?

Because your anger and hate have nothing to do with me.

When you use stereotypes to silence Black voices or blame us for being harmed by whiteness and our generational trauma, I know that you've got generational trauma you need to unpack and process.

When you try to use one Black person being mean or hateful to you as the "standard" for every Black person you meet, I know that you've got generational trauma you need to unpack and process.

When your advice to Black people is to be more docile and less of a stereotype, I know you've got generational trauma you need to unpack and process.

And I know because Black communities in the United States, in white western culture, have got a lot of generational trauma to unpack.

You aren't alone.

The difference is, I'm not going out of my way to diminish your experiences, your trauma, to adhere to white supremacist ideology that isn't offering me non-existent protections.

I can't speak for all of the Black and AAPI community relations in the United States. I know racism toward AAPI communities from Black communities exists. And vise-versa. I've seen and had to check Black folx for using anti-Asian rhetoric and hate as weapons against AAPI communities. Hell, you've seen me do it on this page. The truth is if you aren't white in the United States, you've been pitted against other races for generations in a battle created by the weight of oppression and trauma. That's how white supremacy operates: division and the hope of false safety and privilege. As people of color, as Black communities and AAPI communities, we can continue perpetuating this violence, or we can be the generation that starts unpacking why we're so divided when we are not each other's enemy.

I think y'all know where I stand.

I don't pray, but I'm going to ask my homies that do pray to include Ding in your prayers today. Let's wish him no hate but healing and the opportunity to unpack his perceived privilege and trauma.

I hope those prayers trickle down to others who need them.

[Image description: a screenshot of a comment posted on my LinkedIn by a gentleman name Ding Fu. It says the following:

“Pharoah, I am an Asian so neutral in this Black vs. white discussion. Here is my take:

I have observed more crime in person by Black people in a mostly white city
I have observed more gangster style among Blacks, e.g. playing really loud and vulgar music, wearing clothes where their underwear is showing, etc.
Being really rude and loud and even making fun of me being a small Asian

I have had few Blacks at work who were extremely nice but they are minority in comparison.

I feel Black community likes to blame whites but doesn’t want to look inwards. This victim mentality only generates anger and resentment instead of focus on improvement. Here are things to focus on:

Don’t promote gangster culture including vulgar music and clothing
Counter crime by helping Black communities focus on education
Teach Black people to be nice to others smaller than them"]