On Women's History Month, International Women's Day, and the Perils of White Women

It's International Women's Day today, and March is Women's History Month in the United States. While so many women have influenced me and how I view, approach, and navigate the world, from my mother in my formative years to women I am happy to call friends, chosen family, and long-time colleagues; I must admit that all of my gratitude for those women comes with a side-eye to white women.

They are the most dangerous people in my chosen profession.

They have placed me in more dangerous situations than any other group.

They have threatened my livelihood and earning potential on multiple occasions.

So it makes it hard for me and many other melanated folx to celebrate all women as deeply as we could when the specter of whiteness and the power and positionality of white women is under the surface of celebrating progress and perseverance.

Yes, it's International Women's Day, and this month is Women's History Month in the United States. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't be honest about our world and how white women impact that world. If you live in western culture and have decided to be remotely observant, you've seen firsthand how white women are placed at the forefront of women's history, like they are the only entity that has fought for earning and maintaining women's rights. But then you look at how white women vote, who they collectively posit as their "oppressors," and how they have exploited and benefited from the work and energy of melanated communities in similar and sometimes more harmful ways than white men. And that sh-- hits different. Like, women as a whole have to constantly fight for the right to exist in this world, in the United States, but I've seen so many of those fights for rights, equity, and equality be uphill battles against the opinions, power, and positionality wielded by white women.

Look, I'm not trying to be divisive or disrespect women. I am from a family of women who've persevered despite the constant harm of our world. Talking about this will likely find me dealing with a whole mess of Karen-energy emails and DMs. But real talk? I call it as I see it. And besides, I'm gonna delete your emails, so save that energy for doing better.

We should all be able and willing to celebrate, fight alongside, support, and stand with all women. But to make an already hard battle a little easier, we need white women to step it up beyond lip service and evolve away from their white supremacist ideologies.

Y'all are the roadblock for all women, white women.

It's time to start clearing the road.

P.S.: Before some of y'all chime in with the "your wife is white" comments: yes, I know. I'm aware of the fact that my wife is white. I'm also mindful of how she atones for her whiteness and consistently shows up in spaces to support Black women, melanated women, and all women with the privilege she has while taking in feedback and checking herself. We wouldn't be together if she didn't, so find a new talking point to diminish the truth.

On Brittney, Breonna, and Giving Black Women Their Flowers

TW: Murder, anti-Blackness, violence, and systemic and intentional harm of Black women.

Brittney Griner was sentenced to nine years in prison today by Russian prosecutors. For a vape and some vape cartridges. And now Brittney Griner will be a political pawn in a dangerous "pissing match" game between two stubborn white cis men who fashion themselves as leaders. One was elected by the U.S. American people not because he was the most qualified but because we were given limited options. One elected himself by force, as white cis men are prone to do.

Nine years. For a vape and some vape cartridges.

It's taken over two years for the family of Breonna Taylor to even remotely see the possibility of justice and accountability for her unnecessary and reckless murder at the hands of Louisville, Kentucky, police officers. And while these are federal charges they're now facing, there's no guarantee Breonna's murderers will be held accountable for their actions.

Over two years. In a case where all the evidence points to blatant recklessness, endangerment, and murder.

Damnit.

This world truly goes out of its way to harm Black women, to disregard their worth and life, use them, drain them, and discard them. I'm tired.

I know Black women are beyond tired.

Sending all of my love, energy, and support to Black women today and every day as the world sends y'all reminders of how much y'all have to endure to live and thrive. Y'all deserve all the flowers, the love, and support in this cruel world.

On White Women, Handmaids, and (Maybe) Stepping Up

As we end June 2022 and wind down Pride Month and Juneteenth celebrations, we walk away from a month of tumult with a hazy horizon in front of us. I’ve seen a lot of joy and pride in embracing oneself and celebrating culture and perseverance in the face of hate and oppression.

That joy and pride conflicted with the hard-to-miss fact that the United States is trending toward becoming more dangerous and harmful to most of its citizenry than it already is.

As Roe v. Wade was overturned, as the religious right began its long-gestating power play to obliterate the line between church and state, I’ve seen many white people shocked at what’s happening around them. Many white women are suddenly distraught at the future ahead of us if the citizenry doesn’t collectively stand up and fight for rights and safety. Bodily autonomy is officially on the chopping block, and the future of women’s rights and reproductive health looks a little murky. I’ve seen many white women with tears in their eyes, sharing their stories of needing reproductive health access and saying their eyes are now open. They’re proclaiming they’re ready to stand up and fight on every social media platform they can find. Because I’m human, I can feel for those white women and their fear and anxiety, at least a little bit. But as a Black man in the United States?

They can miss me with their shock.

And they can Matrix miss me with those tears.

In the 2020 election, among White women, according to NBC News, 43 percent supported Biden, and 55 percent supported Trump. There was little meaningful change from 2016 when the same exit poll showed that 43 percent of White women supported Clinton and 52 percent supported Trump. Other significant polling data found the same or similar percentages, give or take a couple of percentage points.

You can miss me with those tears, white women.

More white women are in the U.S. House and Senate than at any point in United States history. They are primarily Republican, and a sizable portion of them are Christian conservatives. Those who are Democrats are mostly moderate or centrist in their voting habits. And most of them have voting records that set the stage for everything we’ve seen over the past week by supporting and enabling white supremacist and oppressive policies, bills, and laws.

On top of all those mentioned above, Black women and Black, Brown, and Indigenous movements have warned white women of the dangers of aligning with white supremacist patriarchal values since before the Women’s suffrage movement. We’ve stressed the need for understanding the intersectional impacts of siding with whiteness and white Christian dogma over the unethical and hateful treatment of women and people with uteruses in the United States.

You can miss me with those tears.

You have nothing to be shocked about, white women. What are you shocked about? That the safety you thought you had by aligning yourself with white patriarchal nonsense doesn’t exist? You thought they were only coming after the “colored women?” You thought these repeals and Supreme Court decisions would skip you as a white woman and oppress everyone else?

That’s a dangerous game to play, white women.

But you already knew that, and many of you played it anyway.

You played the game, lost, and now it’s time to do more than cry. Mourn a little. Mourn the loss of your conscious obliviousness. Feel the weight of the moment. Begin processing the trauma and anxiety of it all.

Then step your asses up to the plate and fight for EVERYONE. Not just for white women. Not just for white people with uteruses.

For ALL people with uteruses.

For ALL women.

Are you going to step up now? Or will you keep comparing the current state of things to the Handmaid’s Tale and posting your personal stories for sympathy while levying microaggressions toward Black women who aren’t coddling you now?

If I shake my Magic 8-Ball, something tells me all signs will point to no.

How about you prove me wrong?

On Hot-Takes, Work Ethic, and Wealthy Reality TV "Stars"

If you're a person of privilege who scolds those who don't have the privilege that you have about what you perceive to be their work ethic?

You're legitimately out of touch with what 99% of people in the United States deal with every day.

If you're a multiracial woman with white privilege who has always had it easier than others due to your father's notoriety, family money, and your willingness to put every aspect of your life on television in return for celebrity and cash?

It would be best if you weren't sharing any hot takes about what you perceive as the work ethic of 99% of U.S. Americans.

And if your business advice to women who are starting or looking to start new chapters in their lives and be entrepreneurs is to "get their f---ing asses up and work," followed by "it seems like nobody wants to work these days"?

You're a tool. An insensitive, disconnected, patriarchal, elitist, classist tool. And you're another hurdle, another obstacle in the way of women in the United States having opportunity and equity.

I think it's time for entertainment media to stop interviewing wealthy reality TV stars whose only exposure to the 99% of us who don't have their wealth and privilege is their maid or nanny.