On Judge Ketanji, Supporting Black Women, and Figuring Out When to Fall Back

Image Description: The honorable Ketanji Brown Jackson at her confirmation hearing for a possible appointment to the U.S. Supreme Court. Ketanji is wearing a red blazer, black top, and pearls. She is sitting at a table facing the viewer, speaking into a microphone in response to questions from senators. Copyright: 2022 Getty Images.

I'm not watching the confirmation hearings for Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson. I'm not watching because I like my peace of mind, and I think we all knew this would be some racist, white supremacist, misogynistic, anti-Black nonsense. From what I'm seeing of the snippets and clips I've stumbled across over the last few days? I was right.

These mediocre white folx, white folx who have accomplished nothing in their lives outside of bringing their hate into national politics, are deadset on attacking Ketanji's intelligence. They're throwing all sorts of CRT fear-mongering and random vaguely abortion-related questions. The anti-Black rhetoric, the abrasiveness, the pushiness coming out of these white politicians' mouths as she maintains herself and doesn't crumble under their hatred is a window into what Black women face just trying to exist in this world every day. And this is why I can't watch these events in real-time.

Existing shouldn't always have to be this damn hard, y'all.

Being a Black woman shouldn't always have to be this hard.

Representation in the national legal system shouldn't always have to be this damn hard to obtain. Hell, representation in our local legal systems shouldn't always have to be this damn hard to obtain, but it is.

A friend of mine recently shared that it's time for Black folx, for Black women, to give less of themselves to this country. And I couldn't stop myself from unequivocally agreeing with him. This country, this hateful white country, does not deserve Black women. It doesn't deserve everything that Black people, Black women, have contributed and continue to contribute to it.

When I see these spectacles like the "confirmation hearings" for Judge Jackson, I can't help but think about my work in workplace anti-racism over the past few years and combating workplace anti-Blackness. I've watched myself scale back my efforts and energy. As I've done my self-work and centered my focus on taking care of myself in all of this, I keep landing on whether or not dealing with systems of whiteness every day in these ways is worth it. I'm even supporting and advising other anti-racism consultants of color to do the same, to center their health and well-being over pushing this work and draining their batteries. I'm doing this because I realize that Black folx, Black women, have been doing this work for generations, yet whiteness has shown us it does not give a damn about us and our needs for generations. Whiteness is mentally, emotionally, and physically deadset on killing Black bodies by any means necessary, passive or active. And while we need representation in all spaces of our collective society, I can't lie when I tell you that I've recently mulled over whether it's worth fighting these fights in every damn arena.

Whiteness doesn't deserve our energy and effort because it doesn't value our energy and effort.

And you can multiply that statement times ten when it applies to Black women.

Whiteness goes out of its way to make sure Black folx know, Black women know, they aren't welcome and that their contributions only matter if the center white hate and comfort. They only want us if we fit their societal worldview, a set of viewpoints built on our oppression. Even when we're trying to give of ourselves to help our people, we have to watch as Black folx, Black women, get trampled under a hate stampede. Look at what is happening to Judge Ketanji. Then think about the confirmation of Brett Kavanaugh and the messy sexual assault baggage that he pulled up to the party with. Think about how white folx defended him even when it was apparent that his mediocrity, hate, and misogyny were on display. You can't place these two experiences side by side and tell me that they are even remotely the same experience. The proof is in the pudding.

The difference is in the melanin.

It is ridiculous that Judge Ketanji, who is supremely overqualified to be the first Black woman appointed to the U.S. Supreme court, has to be subjected to these attacks of her personage. She shouldn't have to sit there while her experience and knowledge are questioned by mediocre white folx, many of whom are not qualified to even be in politics, let alone asking anyone questions about anything. And it's increasingly getting more and more ridiculous that Black folx, Black women, have dedicated their lives to the betterment of future generations just for white folx to go out of their way to destroy us in any way they can muster. Should we keep fighting? Yeah. We should. But maybe not so damn hard anymore? The truth is, we're killing ourselves for progress while they're trying to kill us. Black women are dying, being vilified and drained by whiteness, in the name of progress. We need progress.

But what we need even more is for our Black women to feel loved, heard, supported, and validated by the Black community and the world around them.

Black folx deserve better. Black women deserve better.

And whiteness doesn't deserve us because they don't value us.

They never did, and they never will.

Time to take a step back, stay hydrated, and take care of ourselves more.