Monday's Opening Thought: July 19, 2021

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This week’s opening thought: The United States is still separating families at its borders.

There are still brown babies, brown children, in cages.

Judges are still looking for ways to harm DACA program participants.

The current President and his administration have pretty much stated that Cubans don’t deserve support or assistance, a stance that the U.S. has held for countless decades.

The current Vice President recently let it be known how she as a Black woman in a position of power and privilege is more than willing to use prejudicial laws to bar Brown families from seeking asylum. Her stance and views on this matter aren’t all that shocking if you’re familiar with her time as a D.A. and Attorney General.

I know that some of y’all want to avoid talking or thinking about this, or want to act like Biden and Harris are the “big change this country needed,” so I wanted to make sure you don’t forget that the United States doesn’t care about Brown lives the way many of y’all think it does. And real talk? You probably don’t either.

But I’m sure you want to avoid talking or thinking about that too.

Monday's Opening Thought: July 12, 2021

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This week's opening thought: If you're a white person who has worked with me at one of my past employers and you send me a friend request or connection request after never speaking up or speaking out against white supremacy in the workplace and racism toward Black folx, Brown folx, Native and Indigenous folx, and people of color while we worked together? If you were one of those white folx who sat and watched as racist things were said and done to me and other people of color in real-time, then wanted to talk to me in private hours and sometimes days later and say, "I'm sorry that happened?" I've got one question for you:

Why in the Hell do you think I would accept your friend request or connection request?

Let me guess: you thought I forgot how you weren't an "ally" or "accomplice" or that I would just let it all be water under the bridge, right? Well, you thought wrong.

I get DMs and connection requests from white people who used to work with me all the time, basically wanting to apologize for contributing to the pain and trauma of being melanated in white workplaces. Hell, I got three this past weekend. I know why they want to connect. They want to feel like "good" people and absolve themselves of their guilt around their fear to speak up and be ostracized from the white in-crowd. The thing is, I'm not here to help you feel like a "good" person. Never have been, and never will be. I refuse to be a part of your absolution. And I don't need to accept half-hearted apologies seeking validation instead of atonement and growth. I don't work with you anymore and do not need to associate with you. But you know what? Other people of color do still work with you. How about you step up for them in the now? Oh, wait. Never mind. You're likely treating them the same way you treated other melanated folx who have departed your company. And you'll be reaching out to them to "connect" soon enough because they'll be leaving too—deja vu. Cue spooky sounds!

Break your cycles of fear of revolt from whiteness, white people. Acknowledge your privilege. Stand up for melanated folx because it's the right thing to do with your privilege, not because it looks good or makes you feel like a "good" person. Work on being actively anti-racist. Show and prove that you can sustain doing those things then maybe I'll entertain a friend request.

Nah, I'm kidding. I'm still not accepting your request. But you were feeling hopeful there for a minute, weren't you? ;)

Monday's Opening Thought: July 5, 2021

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This week’s opening thought: If you want to talk about dismantling systems and tackling societal issues but you don’t want to talk about racism, white supremacy, and generational trauma and impact as well then we have nothing to talk about. The two camps are bosom buddies. It’s six degrees or less of separation - more often less.

Wanna talk about the lack of access to clean and safe drinking water? You can’t talk about that topic without addressing how Black, Brown, Native, and Indigenous communities have been historically and currently impacted by the white supremacy and racist ideology that created these inequities.

Wanna talk about climate change? You can’t if you aren’t willing to talk about how Native and Indigenous communities in North America have had to fight for their stolen land and even conservation rights while watching colonialism and white supremacy destroy natural resources.

Wanna talk about food deserts? Poverty? Homelessness and housing insecurity? Pay disparities and earning more than a living wage? Unemployment? The ability to create and sustain generational wealth? Access to education? [Insert societal issue/hurdle to progress here]? You best be ready to talk about how those all intersect with racism, white supremacy, and systemic oppression.

Neglecting to talk about the intersections, whether consciously or unconsciously, is trafficking in white supremacy while claiming you want to dismantle white supremacy. Don’t @ me.

Monday's Opening Thought: June 28, 2021

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This week’s opening thought: I understand that many white people and people of color with privilege are somewhat new to the concept of white supremacy and the centuries of harm it is responsible for. Many of you don’t know what to say or where to start and are scared of saying or doing the wrong things. You reach out to me via private message or want to ask for my “free advice” after I’ve led a training. Well, I felt that it was time to let y’all in on a little secret:

None of that discomfort or fear you’re feeling means that you’re obligated to the sympathy, coddling or extra energy you think me or any other marginalized person of color should offer you to help you “learn” and “feel better.”

Yeah, some of y’all have a “journey” ahead of you. A long lifelong “journey.” That doesn’t mean I have to get in the wagon with you and steer the damn thing as you try not to die from dysentery on the Oregon Trail of your anti-racism and white supremacy.

Your self-work is yours to dive into. You’re not owed the free labor and energy of historically marginalized folx to teach you. It’s not marginalized people of color’s job to teach you and mold you into a caricature of an accomplice without receiving adequate and equitable compensation. An occasional chat is one thing but asking me out for coffee just to dump all of your emotional dysregulations in my lap for 60 minutes? Nah. I’m tight.

Google and libraries and documentaries and podcasts and therapy exist. Please build your own learning and self-growth combo meal that doesn’t include a side of marginalized people of color carrying your emotional and mental load.