Monday's Opening Thought: July 12, 2021

This week's opening thought: If you're a white person who has worked with me at one of my past employers and you send me a friend request or connection request after never speaking up or speaking out against white supremacy in the workplace and racism toward Black folx, Brown folx, Native and Indigenous folx, and people of color while we worked together? If you were one of those white folx who sat and watched as racist things were said and done to me and other people of color in real-time, then wanted to talk to me in private hours and sometimes days later and say, "I'm sorry that happened?" I've got one question for you:

Why in the Hell do you think I would accept your friend request or connection request?

Let me guess: you thought I forgot how you weren't an "ally" or "accomplice" or that I would just let it all be water under the bridge, right? Well, you thought wrong.

I get DMs and connection requests from white people who used to work with me all the time, basically wanting to apologize for contributing to the pain and trauma of being melanated in white workplaces. Hell, I got three this past weekend. I know why they want to connect. They want to feel like "good" people and absolve themselves of their guilt around their fear to speak up and be ostracized from the white in-crowd. The thing is, I'm not here to help you feel like a "good" person. Never have been, and never will be. I refuse to be a part of your absolution. And I don't need to accept half-hearted apologies seeking validation instead of atonement and growth. I don't work with you anymore and do not need to associate with you. But you know what? Other people of color do still work with you. How about you step up for them in the now? Oh, wait. Never mind. You're likely treating them the same way you treated other melanated folx who have departed your company. And you'll be reaching out to them to "connect" soon enough because they'll be leaving too—deja vu. Cue spooky sounds!

Break your cycles of fear of revolt from whiteness, white people. Acknowledge your privilege. Stand up for melanated folx because it's the right thing to do with your privilege, not because it looks good or makes you feel like a "good" person. Work on being actively anti-racist. Show and prove that you can sustain doing those things then maybe I'll entertain a friend request.

Nah, I'm kidding. I'm still not accepting your request. But you were feeling hopeful there for a minute, weren't you? ;)