Monday's Opening Thought: June 28, 2021

This week’s opening thought: I understand that many white people and people of color with privilege are somewhat new to the concept of white supremacy and the centuries of harm it is responsible for. Many of you don’t know what to say or where to start and are scared of saying or doing the wrong things. You reach out to me via private message or want to ask for my “free advice” after I’ve led a training. Well, I felt that it was time to let y’all in on a little secret:

None of that discomfort or fear you’re feeling means that you’re obligated to the sympathy, coddling or extra energy you think me or any other marginalized person of color should offer you to help you “learn” and “feel better.”

Yeah, some of y’all have a “journey” ahead of you. A long lifelong “journey.” That doesn’t mean I have to get in the wagon with you and steer the damn thing as you try not to die from dysentery on the Oregon Trail of your anti-racism and white supremacy.

Your self-work is yours to dive into. You’re not owed the free labor and energy of historically marginalized folx to teach you. It’s not marginalized people of color’s job to teach you and mold you into a caricature of an accomplice without receiving adequate and equitable compensation. An occasional chat is one thing but asking me out for coffee just to dump all of your emotional dysregulations in my lap for 60 minutes? Nah. I’m tight.

Google and libraries and documentaries and podcasts and therapy exist. Please build your own learning and self-growth combo meal that doesn’t include a side of marginalized people of color carrying your emotional and mental load.