This Week's Opening Thought: February 26, 2024

This week's (late) opening thought: I wish I could tell you that the world we live in is inherently kind, loving, and affirming, but it's not. We live in a world where countless genocides are happening. We live in a world where trans bathroom bills are killing our Indigenous youth. We live in a world that is constantly seeking out new ways to harm, silence, and dehumanize those with melanin in their skin. If you even have a modicum of empathy and humanity in your soul, I'm sure your body and brain are heavy right now.

I get it because I feel it, too.

It currently feels like a massive undertaking to live, love, and hope. To hope for a better today. To believe in a better tomorrow.

So, I wish I could tell you that our world is inherently kind, loving, and affirming, but it's not.

But that doesn't mean we can't continue striving for it to be so.

There's still love and joy in the world. There's still kindness and humanity. There's still wonder and beauty. It's still there even if it feels like we've got to dig for it, like loose change between seat cushions. No matter what, no matter how daunting it all feels, we must keep diggin' between those seat cushions. We owe it to ourselves, future generations, and our ancestors to embrace love, joy, and hope. We can't be energized and ready to continue fighting without allowing our brains and bodies to live, love, breathe, and hope. So, keep diggin' between those couch cushions and hit the corner store with that loose change.

You deserve some Cheetos and a quarter water before hoppin' back into the fray.

We all do.

On Wedding Websites and Rulings of Hate

This morning, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in favor of Lorie Smith, a "Christian" graphic designer who wanted the right to discriminate against same-sex couples seeking her services. This ruling went in her favor despite a Colorado law prohibiting discrimination based on sexual orientation, race, gender, and other protected characteristics. Smith's argument? That the Colorado law violated her free speech rights.

The conservative U.S. Supreme Court agreed with her.

How did this law violate her "freedom of speech?" Your guess is as good as mine, seeing how no one was twisting her arm to force her to take jobs or be hateful.

Lorie's raggedy ass could've politely declined the request, stating she was busy or unavailable, but she didn't. I'm not saying this move is the right or best way to handle things because it would still be a hateful move, but it wouldn't be as confrontational and escalated as this situation became. Do you know how many white people I've encountered who dislike me and my people but decide their vitriol for me isn't worth escalating, so they passively opt out of things? Way more than you'd think. I know members of LGBTQIA+ communities face similar situations. The couple who sought out Lorie's services could've moved on, likely knowing that there was an underlying current of hate to their request being declined but maybe not feeling like this battle was worth escalating (sadly, many of us have to pick and choose which battles to fight and when).

Lorie didn't have to make it an openly hateful thing with these potential clients, but she did. Lorie didn't have to be aggressively homophobic but chose to be. But Lorie was worried about her "freedom of speech" being taken from her. Real talk?

Lorie wasn't worried about her freedom of speech. Lorie was worried about decency infringing on what she believes is her freedom to hate others "in the name of the Lord."

And now every hateful, homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic, racist, bigoted, faux Christian business owner in the United States will refuse to serve countless communities because the U.S. Supreme Court has declared they have the right to do so.

You have the right to have your beliefs until your beliefs are constantly wielded as clubs of hatred, bigotry, and white supremacy that harm or murder others. Then they aren't beliefs anymore. They're hate crimes.

The U.S. Supreme Court thinks otherwise.

Both And

Sometimes I have to remind myself that many of the people in the United States pushing for gun safety and banning Critical Race Theory while attacking trans and queer communities are people who have allowed their trauma and familial and community influences to hurt them on a deep level. And hurt people hurt people. I have to make sure I'm considering that hateful views and bigotry are ingrained and learned behaviors often fostered in people from a young age by their families and communities. I must be cognizant of the trauma we all carry and how that trauma manifests as malicious weapons, especially for those with power, privilege, and positionality. I must acknowledge how white supremacist ideologies and societal norms influence how people overtly and covertly wield hate.

But I never have to remind myself that none of the above are excuses or passes for people to be sh—-y, hateful, and harmful to others.

It's both and.

Yeah, hurt people tend to hurt others, especially when they have the power and opportunity to do so. But just because you're unwilling to confront and unpack your generational and societal trauma and familial influences doesn't mean you get to place the burden of your hurt on those your skewed beliefs deem appropriate to oppress.

I can hold out hope for your healing and still hold you accountable for the harm you cause. I can acknowledge your trauma and expect you to work on your sh— and improve.

I will simultaneously check you and ask somebody to pray for your soul.

It's both and.

Why?

Because even if you're a hate-filled human being, you're still human. You're still worthy of love and care, even if you think me and my people aren't. You're still worthy of healing and support, even if you think other communities aren't.

Even though you may hate my people and me, I don't hate you. Even though you hate people and communities who have done you no harm, I don’t hate you. Why? I'm practicing living in health and joy. Practicing hate to respond to the hatred of harmful people stuck in their trauma does nothing for anyone. No person who has lived in a cycle of trauma and hate has ever been joyful about life.

I ain’t got time for that. Life is short.

Real talk? I hope you get to that place at some point in your life where your hate and trauma aren't your driving forces for the sake of everyone your unresolved pain harms. I hope you get to the point where you can be accountable for your words and actions and acknowledge your pain and the pain you create.

In the meantime, I'mma ask one of my religious homies to pray for your soul while praying for me to have the serenity not to want to lay hands on you while you sport your MAGA hat and act like you’re disappointed in me because I checked yo’ ass and you thought I was "one of the good ones."

Hey, I’m human.

Both and.

This Week's Opening Thought: October 24, 2022

TW: Antisemitism, hate.

This week’s opening thought: there has and will never be a justification for hate. There will never be a justification for antisemitism. There will never be a justification for defending a hateful and anti-semitic person as they inflict harm on others. Not mental illness, not some past experiences with one or two members of a community, not a narcissistic need for attention.

Nothing.

Please understand that justifying hate and antisemitism is more than just hanging a banner off the side of a Los Angeles freeway overpass while striking a Nazi salute. By not standing for the lives of Jewish communities, by not speaking up and being clear about your denouncement of this hate, you are passively supporting antisemitic rhetoric and views. Your stance is that the lives of Jewish folx in your community, of Global Majority communities in your city, aren’t worth your time and energy to stand with and support in dire times or any time. “Not wanting to get involved” or claiming you don’t have a viewpoint is you involving yourself and stating your viewpoint. And your “lack” of a stance? It is more than a stance. And it speaks volumes about how little you value the safety and lives of people in your community and workplace. Not standing in legitimate solidarity with your Jewish friends, coworkers, and neighbors is just as harmful as blatantly agreeing with and championing antisemitism.

Standing up and speaking out for those in your community who are receiving hate is not a stance; it’s a lifestyle. It’s a selfless lifestyle that does not seek ego strokes, constant validation from Global Majority communities, or gold stars and cookies. That is what being actively anti-racist and opposing hate and oppression in all its forms is.

Yes, we all need to be in solidarity and support our Jewish friends, colleagues, and neighbors right now. You also need to stand against and fight against antisemitism every day in every space, not just when it’s in the news cycle. Are you still going to stand up next week when newspapers shove the antisemitism to page seven? Or are you not planning to stand at all today, next week, or any day?

Your soul and humanity are about as holey as that one guy’s shoes.

To my Jewish friends, colleagues, and neighbors: I stand in solidarity yesterday, today, and every day of my life with you as you navigate these troubling times. You are not alone, and your lives matter.

P.S.: Don’t let the irony of a Black man with money and a need to be in the news cycle being patted on the back for championing antisemitic views and rhetoric by white people who hate his race pass you by. That’s the world we live in, folx. We should be working toward a better society, but we can't do that without acknowledging the generational trauma of hate that the United States was built on. You don't move forward without learning from what happened behind you.

Monday's Opening Thought: September 13, 2021

TW: nazi-ism, hate, oppression, genocide, Holocaust.

This week's opening thought: If at any time in the last decade you've said out loud or had the thought pop into your head that what you're dealing with or being asked to do for the public good as a white person with privilege and power or even a person of color with privilege and power is akin to "nazi Germany" you officially forfeit your opportunity to speak and share your thoughts.

No debate. No explanations can explain your callous and hateful views away. I know what you mean when you say these things. All of us know what you mean when you say these things.

There are literally maybe a couple of handfuls of moments in WORLD history and a handful in U.S. history that are even CLOSE to the machinations, genocide, and generational trauma that transpired in Germany under nazi rule. And if you are white you overwhelmingly were not heavily impacted and harmed by those moments. Not you, not your ancestors. To compare wearing a mask, getting a vaccination, or being asked to care for others and stay socially and physically distanced to the Holocaust, to nazi Germany, is a symbol of how much ignorance, hate, and reluctance to learn from history you have in your heart and soul.

You are not a victim. You are not in captivity, in an internment camp, watching your family and friends be harmed by oppressors.

You're just a cold, self-centered human being.

Own who you are and don't put your baggage and hatred on the shoulders of others.