Why I Didn't Post Anything on MLK Day

A white "professional" who follows me on social media dropped me a line yesterday to tell me they were surprised I hadn't posted anything on Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. They're right: I didn't post anything on Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. Real talk?

I'm not obligated to post about Black sh—on a national holiday primarily created to appease Black communities by white politicians who wanted to feel like "good" white people.

I'm also not obligated to explain why I didn't post thoughts on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, especially to white people. But you know what? I will explain why because I'm feeling generous enough to put the anxiety and weight that the white person who reached out to me tried to put on my shoulders right back on theirs and teach 'em something while doing it.

You’re welcome in advance.

So why didn't I post anything on MLK Day?

Why bother?

Look, white folx. We [Black folx] have the same discussion about how y'all misappropriate quotes and belittle the words and works of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. with y'all every year. We have similar conversations with y'all about Dr. King and other Black luminaries that your grandparents hated and that you've deified and misinterpreted the work of all year long. We have to check y'all all the time on treating Black people like your Great Value gurus and "your spirit animals" on the other 364 days of the year (someone's Lord, don't get me started on the spirit animal thing). To be honest?

I have nothing else to teach you about the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. that I didn't teach y'all last year, the year before, and every year for at least the last decade.

You've likely forgotten what I said about this day last year. I could post the same message on my social media channels on MLK Day every year, and most of y'all will respond to it like it's new to you. Every Black person in the United States could post the same post we wrote together in a Google Doc annually, and only a few of y'all would catch it. And that's the problem.

Most of y'all aren't paying attention, learning, and doin' the work until we stop doin' it for you.

Us telling you not to sully the name of Dr. King on MLK Day is your security blanket. Us telling you to do better, be better, and dismantle the sh—you created is like comfort food. And once we don't do it? Y'all be around here actin' cold and hungry when you've got on a winter coat and didn't finish the first plate you grabbed in the buffet line.

Maybe you should finish digesting what me and mine have been sharing with y'all for years before you expect us to give you more of ourselves.

Holla at me when you begin to remotely respect the legacy and work of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Black U.S. America in general without needing an annual prompt.

Drop me a line when you respect the Free99 labor and energy Black folx give y'all and start taking in and processing the hard truths we've been giving y'all for over a century.

And stop dropping me a line because I didn't post something Black on a Black holiday. I don't work for you.

Not a good look, white people. But y’all already knew that.

P.S.: I spent MLK Day resting my tired Black bones and avoiding white sh--. It was time well spent. If you're white and had MLK Day off, please understand that it's not a day of rest for you and yours; feel me?

This Week's Opening Thought: January 9, 2023

TW: mentions of systemic racism, generational trauma, and sexual assault.

This week’s opening thought, which I’m sure is going to have some folx looking at me some kind of way: when I see melanated people pledging their allegiance to white supremacy and happily upholding white supremacist ideologies, I can’t help but find myself sitting in an emotional gumbo.

I think about the ongoing harm they cause to their families, communities, and people who look like them and are grappling with similar generational and societal experiences and trauma akin to their own.

I think about how horrible it must feel, how much self-hatred or hatred of their heritage and culture one must harbor in their melanated body to pledge their life and identity to uphold white supremacist ideals and systems. Was the generational and societal trauma so heavy that they couldn’t carry it anymore?

I think about the thoughts of desperate self-preservation that must come from willingly enabling and supporting people and systems who have historically murdered, maimed, sexually assaulted, enslaved, colonized, and oppressed your people with the hope that at least you’ll be safe.

I think about what mentally, emotionally, and physically happens to these melanated people when they realize they aren’t guaranteed safety and acceptance for subservience. I think about what happens to them when they recognize how the whiteness they’ve aligned themselves with views them: as an end to a means, expendable, disposable once they get what they want from them. I can’t imagine how much trauma these folx are carrying, how much they blame themselves for not being good enough when they are used, disposed of, or offered up as sacrificial lambs.

I empathize with them. I care for them.

And I grapple with that empathy and care while fighting the urge to judge and discard them.

It can be both, and it is both because humans are messy and complicated creatures.

I want better for them. I want to be there for them when whiteness smites them because it will smite them at some point. It always does. I want to help them up when the inevitable occurs, and they fall because no one should face their melanated mortality and the fallout of their choices alone, even when their choices have harmed their people. And they will undoubtedly be alone because walking the path of preserving whiteness as a melanated person is a lonely road. But real talk?

I’ll be damned if I sometimes don’t think about extending my hand to help them when they fall and then moving it before they can grab it for help, leaving them to fall on their ass again.

I believe that you reap what you sow. But I also can’t walk away from my people, even if they walk away from me and mine. It’s probably a combination of my codependence and empathy stopping me from walking away from them like Peter Parker walking away from his Spidey suit in the dumpster. But I cannot and will not be their judge and jury. I will not kick them while they’re down. It’s hard not to want to judge them, to shun them. I understand why melanated folx would want to. We don’t owe dangerous and harmful people anything, including melanated people who harm melanated communities. But I can’t judge them.

I’m sure they’re doing more than enough judging of themselves for the both of us.

When I see my people, melanated people, go the route of sympathizing and supporting their oppressors, I hope they don’t irreparably harm their families and communities and eventually realize their missteps and atone. I wish them healing, and I hope they can process their trauma and self-hatred. And I hope when they fall, when whiteness has used and discarded them, the fall doesn’t literally or figuratively kill them and leave them with nothing and no one.

No one deserves to die alone.

Emotional gumbo.

On "Quiet Hiring," Burnout, and Cutesy Names for Harmful Things

From CNBC:

"A new year is here, and with it, a new workplace phenomenon that bosses and employees should prepare for: quiet hiring.

Quiet hiring is when an organization acquires new skills without actually hiring new full-time employees, says Emily Rose McRae, who has led Gartner's future of work research team since its 2019 inception, focusing on HR practices.

Sometimes, it means hiring short-term contractors. Other times, it means encouraging current employees to temporarily move into new roles within the organization, McRae says.

...Hiring usually falls into one of three categories: backfilling old roles, creating new ones to help the company grow or addressing an acute, immediate need.

Quiet hiring is all about that third category, even if it doesn't technically involve any new hiring at all. The idea is to prioritize the most crucial business functions at a given time, which could mean temporarily mixing up the roles of current employees."

SIGH.

Listen to me closely: THIS IS NOT A HIRING TREND TO LOOK OUT FOR.

Could white supremacist workplace culture leadership do me a favor and stop giving things new names? Y'all did this last year with "quiet quitting" *cough* doing your job and only your job, then going home on time *cough*. And now you want HR to happily push employees to do jobs outside their job description - outside of the job you hired them to do - and give it a "cute" name? That's not a new thing. Quit acting like this is a new workforce tactic. "Quiet hiring" is something companies have been doing for years. Companies have been making employees take on the roles of multiple people "just for a little while" for decades. You know, "just until we end the hiring freeze" or "until we get through this recession." Who are y'all trying to fool? Y'all realize we all know the reasoning behind the line "other duties as assigned" being added to job descriptions, right? Your workers aren't stupid. Give your employees credit for knowing when they're being used with nothing more than a paycheck with no pay increase in return. Stop using HR to weaponize policies that lead to overworking people and push them to either be burnt out or quit.

There's nothing quiet about burning people out and overworking them with an overwhelming workload with no end in sight "for the good of the company."

That's a loud and clear message y'all have been sending for eons.

On the Tibetan Sand Fox and Invitations to the Cookout

Image description: a gallery of four pictures of the Tibetan Sand Fox. The Sand Fox has a natural expression of judgment on its face, complete with a side-eye glance. Above the fox images is the caption, "Me when white "professionals" speak up about racism one time in 100+ workplace situations they've witnessed then look over at me with a smile on their face like they've proven they're a staunch ally in the "war on racism." "

Hey, white "professionals." It's me, Pharoah. I just wanted to take a moment before y'all dive headlong into 2023 and that stack of anti-racism books you've got on your bedside table (because one of your resolutions for this year is to really get going on being anti-racist) to remind y'all that speaking up one time out of 100 times you witness racism, and white supremacy, happening in real-time does not get you an invite to the cookout.

Hell, it doesn't even get you a Lunchable and a Capri Sun.

For the 1,000th time, speaking up and calling other white "professionals" in and out for their racist and white supremacist behavior is not a fair-weather practice. You either speak up and call in and out your white "colleagues" for their behavior and action every time you see it (while checking yourself and your privilege) or don't bother. Every once-in-a-while "allyship" is something you're doing for yourself, so you feel like a "good person"; it ain't doin' nothin' for me and mine. It doesn't even help us at the moment you're doing your one-off "activism" because we [the melanated masses] know you won't be following your actions up by checking Bob from Accounting the next time he flies his white supremacy flag when your privilege and positionality allows you to do so without the ever-present fear of losing your job.

Consistency is the word of the day. And we [the melanated masses] know when y'all aren't going to be consistent but still want to get invited to the cookout so you can seek additional praise for your potato salad recipe with the pepitas and raisins in it.

If you aren't willing to fight through the discomfort of being in opposition with other white people daily, then you shouldn't sign up for this work or dupe yourself into thinking that the three times a year you say something to another white person will move the needle.

To paraphrase Shania Twain, "Okay, so you said something today after I've watched you stay silent for years and endured your private apologies away from the other white people at work every time harm has occurred my entire time working here.”

That don't impress me much.

All that performative action will do is get you an eternal side-eye.

I'll let you get back to them books on your bedside table. It looks like you haven't even creased the cover on the first one yet.

What a shame.

P.S.: This applies to your personal life, too. Active and engaged anti-racism ain't just a "thing you do at work."