This Week's Opening Thought: June 10, 2024

This week's opening thought: It's wild to me how we constantly tell people to do work they love or are passionate about while consciously and unconsciously ignoring the privilege of finding work that feeds your soul and allows you to be human and vulnerable in community with others while making a wage that will enable you to break generational chains of poverty. We never get in the weeds and talk about how little the work of serving others pays and how much weight it puts on the brains and bodies of those doing it. Yet, those of us doing the work are stuck in co-dependence cycles because many of us have been the people who needed help at some point in our lives and feel driven to "pay it forward" now that our circumstances are somewhat different while not earning enough income to retire before our bodies force us to.

And we're doing all of this while swimming upstream in a society driven by white supremacy and forced individualism intended to halt and stymie collective liberation.

Oof.

It's hard out here, y'all.

This Week's Opening Thought: June 3, 2024

This week's opening thought for senior leaders in organizations: Your homophobic, biphobic, transphobic workplace should probably not be celebrating Pride Month.

Ain't nobody got time for all of that performative nonsense. Real sh-- is going on all around us to the point where we're tired enough without having to put up with a month of performative shenanigans that are nothing more than another weapon to harm folx who work for you while you pat yourselves on the back.

We need more than a shout-out to Pride in a company email or team meeting. We need more than a performative PR stunt.

We need y'all to take the actionable steps to bounce the homophobes and transphobes from your organization's roster.

We need y'all to stand on business and call in and out those who do LGBTQIAA+ communities harm while representing you in these streets.

We need y'all to check yourselves and hold yourselves accountable for contributing to harm to queer and trans folx and looking the other way when your queer-identifying colleagues are hurt so you can stay in good standing with the oppressors you consider the in-crowd at work.

We need y'all to hold your human resources department accountable for allowing homophobia and transphobia to be shoulder-shrug moments and not actionable offenses.

Trinkets and hollow platitudes mean nothing when your workplace reflects the world outside of it in the worst possible ways.

There's a list of things that do not look good with a rainbow motif.

Your company logo is at the top of that list.

Stand on something or let the month pass you by.

This Week's Opening Thought: May 13, 2024

Trigger warning: Mentions of sexual assault, misconduct, homophobia, and misogyny.

This week's opening thought: I saw a lot of mind-numbingly fragile takes from cis men during the "Bear or Man" debate. And when I say a lot, I mean A LOT. But one of the dumbest "hot takes" I stumbled upon was from a cis man of pallor who wrote a whole dissertation around arguably the weakest "not all men" stance possible:

Not supervised men.

Yes, you read that right.

This dude wrote a whole diatribe stating that cis men aren't a danger to women and femmes when other men are around to check them on their behaviors.

Does anybody want to tell him, or should I?

The deluded belief that the majority of cis men stop other cis men from harming women and femmes made me want to take a nap. In a country founded through cis men of pallor-driven lynch mobs, where cis male-perpetrated hate crimes have reached all-time highs, and where those who have been sexually harassed and assaulted by cis men rarely get the consistent levels of justice they deserve for their assailants, to think that somehow a group of cis men standing nearby deters the dangerous and toxic nature of masculinity is so off-base it makes my brain hurt. One, the idea that we need to "supervise" grown-ass men to stop them from possibly harming someone speaks volumes about our societal culture. Two, I grew up in a woman-led household with a father who modeled how not to treat women and femmes. I've spent my whole life checking cis men on their behaviors. I've gotten into physical altercations over this sh--.

And other men were standing right there, either saying nothing or participating in trying to shame me for "not being a bro."

I worked in human resources for a college a few years back whose maintenance department was ripe with sexual harassment and intimidation. One team member, a woman, had to leave the college after team members sexually harassed her and made lewd passes at her all the time. One cis man came forward to state his discomfort with cis men in the department simulating acts of sexual assault toward other cis men in the department, himself included. When I addressed these issues with the department directors, they chuckled and said, "You know, boys will be boys," I swiftly said, "No. No, they aren't. I've never thought I should come to work and simulate sex acts or harm others. I don't know any 'boys' that do that." The room went quiet, with a few men holding their heads low or avoiding eye contact altogether. At that moment, I knew they had all witnessed these things for months and years and decided not to speak up or speak out.

A week later, they requested that I no longer be one of their primary HR contacts.

So, no, "not supervised men" ain't gonna fly.

Hell, I'm a cis man, and I'd rather deal with the bear.

[Image description: a comic panel of a bear embracing a woman. The woman shouts, "My hero!" as the world burns behind them.]

Image description: a comic panel of a bear embracing a woman. The woman shouts, "My hero!" as the world burns behind them.

This Week's Opening Thought: May 6, 2024

This week's opening thought: Every Black and Brown person I know, every person of culture I know, has a kazillion skills and proficiencies at their disposal. It comes with the territory of being melanated in a world of pallor. Many of us have random skills we've acquired because we had moments where we've worked jobs to survive or added something to our repertoire to keep the jobs we have. I've been working since the age of 13. I've worked in everything from retail to non-profits and colleges. I've worked with contractors and programmers. I've managed multiple storefronts and led numerous teams in leadership roles. I've trained people in every sector you can think of. I have a wide array of skills and experiences I can draw upon in almost any situation.

And that's why I only show about 10% of what I know 95% of the time, tailored to the job.

You see, white supremacy drives people of pallor to only be "impressed" by people like me if I somehow constantly provide proof that I'm qualified to be considered impressive. And after you do all of that showing and proving? White supremacy dictates that you're supposed to accept being used by people of pallor to cover the deficiencies and dysfunctions of workplaces and systems that you're not welcome in. The more skills you bring to the table, the more workplaces of pallor believe you should do.

Of course, this doesn't extend to the people of pallor working in these workplaces who are given leeway to be mediocre. They don't have to be exceptional. They just need to be likable, pliable, average, and meet the bare minimum work requirements to be considered a "team player."

Melanated folx never have that luxury.

I can count on both hands twice how many folx in leadership roles have tried to use me because they saw I had a skill that had nothing to do with my job but was lacking in their workplaces. And I can count again how many times I put up a boundary only to be punished and be told that I'm "not a team player."

The "workhorse/pack mule" ideology that is at the base of white supremacy still exists in the brains and bodies of people of pallor and the workplaces they've created. Workplaces of pallor make it known that melanin will always equal being expected to do way more than you signed up for and having every skill you have exploited as your co-workers of pallor get raises and promotions they didn't earn.

If you're a person of culture reading this, you're likely overqualified for your job. You've probably got years of real-world work experience and skills you've learned. Five problems are going on in your workplace that you have a solution for. But these workplaces don't deserve all of you. They haven't earned all of you. Don't let them walk you into a co-dependency trap driven by white supremacy. Keep your skills you don't get paid for to yourself.

Let one of those higher-paid mediocre co-workers you're surrounded by every day figure it out.

This Week's Opening Thought: April 29, 2024

This week's opening thought: If you live in the United States of America, you live in a country that is super-OK with genocide being levied out by those they've accepted as allies in pallor while being more than willing to take military action against student protestors who are speaking out against this genocide with nonviolence.

I just wanted to throw that out there in case you're living in the United States and want to continue looking the other way so you don't have to face the reality of what it really means to be “proud to be an American."

And for those "proud Americans" who want to consider themselves neutral in all of this? I hope you know that neutrality is passively siding with oppression.

How proud you must feel.