On Frappucinos and Letting My People Go While People Can't (Won't) Pronounce My Name

Image description: a picture of me holding a frappuccino. The drink label attempted to spell my name so the barista could call me to pick up my order. Instead of Pharoah, the label reads Faro.

Faro.

This is the closest a Starbucks barista has ever gotten to a phonetic spelling of my name during a recent visit to Starbucks. I can't even be mad because at least they tried. Usually, when I order food or a beverage with my name and not a pseudonym, the name on the cup looks like someone shook up a bag of Scrabble tiles, poured seven tiles onto a table, and said close enough.

I could be 100 years old, and I will still not understand how people butcher my name, especially the "Christians." Yeah, there aren't 800 dudes named Pharoah walking around every town and city, but who doesn't know of the Pharaohs in some ways, shape, or form?

These microaggressions pile up, wear you down, and make you feel like you need to assimilate or whitewash yourself to survive. Everyone should be able to order a beverage at a coffee shop and not need to use an alias because you're exhausted by the lack of effort to pronounce your name. Everyone should be able to go to work, go to an event, and traverse the world they live in without needing a "white" identity and name that white people and institutions feel "comfortable" with pronouncing. Many people think that little things like this don't matter or don't hurt, but they do. They have a resonant long-term impact on Global Majority folx that many carries with us for our entire lives.

I've been dealing with my name being mangled in every setting you can think of my entire life.

All a brother wants is an occasional cold beverage with my name spelled correctly.

I know I'm not the only one.

[Image description: a picture of me holding a frappuccino. The drink label attempted to spell my name so the barista could call me to pick up my order. Instead of Pharoah, the label reads Faro.]

Image description: a screenshot of a tweet. The tweet says, "A portal to hell could open tomorrow, and financial publications would still run an article like 'Thinking about skipping work because a crow is eating your entrails? Here's why that's a bad call.'"

"A portal to hell could open tomorrow, and financial publications would still run an article like 'Thinking about skipping work because a crow is eating your entrails? Here's why that's a bad call.'"

Whew, chile. I'm trying to detect the lies with my handheld lie detector, but it keeps coming back with a "no lies detected" message.

[Image description: a screenshot of a tweet. The tweet says, "A portal to hell could open tomorrow, and financial publications would still run an article like 'Thinking about skipping work because a crow is eating your entrails? Here's why that's a bad call.'"]

On Brittney, Breonna, and Giving Black Women Their Flowers

TW: Murder, anti-Blackness, violence, and systemic and intentional harm of Black women.

Brittney Griner was sentenced to nine years in prison today by Russian prosecutors. For a vape and some vape cartridges. And now Brittney Griner will be a political pawn in a dangerous "pissing match" game between two stubborn white cis men who fashion themselves as leaders. One was elected by the U.S. American people not because he was the most qualified but because we were given limited options. One elected himself by force, as white cis men are prone to do.

Nine years. For a vape and some vape cartridges.

It's taken over two years for the family of Breonna Taylor to even remotely see the possibility of justice and accountability for her unnecessary and reckless murder at the hands of Louisville, Kentucky, police officers. And while these are federal charges they're now facing, there's no guarantee Breonna's murderers will be held accountable for their actions.

Over two years. In a case where all the evidence points to blatant recklessness, endangerment, and murder.

Damnit.

This world truly goes out of its way to harm Black women, to disregard their worth and life, use them, drain them, and discard them. I'm tired.

I know Black women are beyond tired.

Sending all of my love, energy, and support to Black women today and every day as the world sends y'all reminders of how much y'all have to endure to live and thrive. Y'all deserve all the flowers, the love, and support in this cruel world.

On "Allyship Lists" and Barry White Songs

Too many white "professionals" love to tell other white people how to be "allies" while not being "allies" themselves.

Y'all love posting your lists of "things to do to be an ally" while you appropriate melanated people's cultures for your hair, clothes, and aesthetics.

Y'all love chastising other white people for not standing up and speaking out while not standing up or speaking out when your supervisors and co-workers hand out intersectional micro-aggressions and anti-Black rhetoric like party favors to your colleagues of color.

Y'all love telling other white people that they must listen to Black, Brown, Indigenous, Asian, and Pacific Islander voices. Then y'all proceed to shut down Black voices, speak over melanated folx in discussions, go on the defensive when called in or out by melanated folx, and make sure you stay far away from the idea of paying people of color for their time and teachings.

Maybe y'all need to listen to some Barry White. Maybe then y'all could practice what you preach.

Switch Dat Career, Yo!

Here's your Tuesday reminder that no matter how much you're being paid, no career is worth sacrificing your soul, dignity, mental and emotional health, physical health, and happiness.

I know; there is privilege in saying that. But there's also a belief that if you feel beat down, mistreated, unheard, and drained in your career but are still expected to wear a smile and a mask hiding your hurt, then it's OK to begin thinking of how your skills transfer over to other environments and fields of work. Be willing to think about what's next, what you can do to change your circumstances, and find a career that speaks to you. Plan your exit.

You've put too much into building your career to allow these heteronormative white supremacist, ableist workplace norms and systems to take your spirit away from you. If your career choice leaves you more drained than empowered, it's more than OK to pivot. You're not alone. A recent Harris Poll found that approximately half (52%) of U.S. American employees are considering making a career change this year. 44% are already in the planning stages to make that switch.

P.S.: Note that I said a career and not a job. If a day job becomes a career? Awesome. But if it doesn't? That's awesome too. We live in a capitalist system. Make your money, darling. If it ain't draining you and it's paying your bills? Do you, boo-boo.