On Looking Both Ways and Frog-Based Evasion Maneuvers

I look both ways when I cross the street. Even when crossing a one-way street, I look both ways. Why?

Because some of y'all think you're driving in the right direction until you run someone over. Then you expect the instant gratification of instantaneous forgiveness for doing the bare minimum to atone for your actions. And when you don't get instant gratification, your sincere apology devolves into blaming the person you ran over for being in your way and getting run over.

Some of y'all know you're not driving in the right direction, and don't skip a beat in your forward movement when you run someone over. And when you're asked to atone and do better in the future, you can't help but unleash anger you feel is justified toward those you've run over. Hell, sometimes y'all hit reverse and run those you've already hit over again.

And some of you realize you're not driving in the right direction but think you can go the wrong way just this once. You know that no one will notice or hold you accountable for your actions. You’ve got privilege on your side. Besides, it's not that big of a deal, right? So what if you go the wrong direction and graze a few people? They'll be fine. The people you've hit? They need to get over it. And if they don't want to "get over it" and expect you to be accountable for your actions? Well, they're blowing things out of proportion. It's not like you killed them or anything, right? They can walk it off!

And many of y'all are going in the right direction and still running folx over. And instead of staying with the person you've run over until help arrives, y'all put the pedal to the floor and get the hell out of dodge. I mean, you've got a reputation to maintain. You're a good person. You donated to causes last year and marched in your city after George Floyd was murdered. You're one of the good ones. You can't have people out here thinking you don't care if you harm others. So what if the person you just hit is trying to get back to their feet and looking your way, expecting you to take responsibility for your actions? If they only knew the kind of person you are, they would understand this was just a mistake. Never mind that you did the same thing a week ago. You're a good person, dammit!

So, of course, I look both ways when I cross the street, even when crossing a one-way street. What kind of fool do you think I am? Do I look like Boo-Boo the Fool to you? What do I look like stepping off the curb just because the light turned green and expecting some of y'all not to run me over after centuries of watching people like me, people who are just trying to cross the damn street, getting run over and receiving no justice?

Some of us spend our entire lives trying to get across the street with as many of our parts, emotions, and faculties intact as possible.

And some of y'all are out here playing Frogger.

Some of y'all need to change more than just a dollar for four quarters.

A Sunday Thought for White People

A Sunday thought for white people: If you've spent the last 3-5 years or more going to “diversity” and anti-racism and white supremacy dismantling trainings while reading a zillion books on these topics, yet you still automatically jump to defensive maneuvers, white fragility and violence when you or another white person you know is called in or out for their conscious or unconscious hateful words or actions then you need to call it a day because you haven't or are unwilling to learn how not to be a perpetual danger to Black folx, melanated folx, and the Global Majority.

You're not learning or integrating anything you're exposed to or reading into your daily life. All you're doing is inadvertently making yourself more dangerous to Black and Brown folx, to melanated folx. Because you’re enmeshed in white supremacist ideology and scared of acknowledging and processing how you do and have harmed melanated folx, all you're getting from all the books and trainings are additional weapons to wield against the Global Majority when you feel “in danger” and a false sense of superiority over other white people. Until you’re willing and able to do the work, you're going to need to digest the fact that you are going through the motions for kudos and clout. And you expect melanated folx, the Global Majority, to provide you those kudos and co-signs. And that kind of performative nonsense is for you, not for me and mine like so many of you like to claim it is.

Do me a favor: don't do me no favors.

Go read a Nicholas Sparks novel or something.

On Hate, Shock, Awe, KFC and Baskin-Robbins

I am legitimately mystified by how many people with privilege, power, and positionality are still shocked that they live in a country with so much hate, racism, homophobia, xenophobia, transphobia, and bigotry toward many communities as they watch mass shootings, hate crimes, and hateful legislation run rampant from coast to coast. I can understand being disappointed, scared, and even overwhelmed by the constant deluge of hate in our cities and communities via physical violence and legislation. That makes sense, especially for those of us whose lives, or their family, friends, and communities, are in danger. But shock? How is anyone still shocked after those harming many of us have been explicitly clear about why they aim to harm and kill others? At this point, there's a legitimate precedent that many communities are in constant danger due to bigotry and white supremacy. It's undeniable what's going on around us. So what are y’all still shocked about? 

That’s like going to KFC and being shocked that they fry chicken.

How are some people still so willing to try and rationalize or intellectualize harm to others? How are some people still so taken aback or surprised that a country built from colonialism, white supremacy, enslavement, and genocide is still perpetuating those original sins? The level of privilege, the lack of humanity, humility, and empathy, and the learned generational ability to shut out anything you don’t want to acknowledge while the world burns around you in some U.S. Americans is wild to watch.

I bet some of y’all are the kinds of people that are shocked that Baskin-Robbins has 31 flavors.

Shake my damn head.

On Drivers, Passengers, and Road Trips

When you're in a position where you have privilege, power, positionality, or some combination of the three, you are more than likely the driver—the driver of your destiny, your learning, your unlearning, and your personal development and growth, which means your privilege allows you to actively and passively drive things for others who aren't as centrally positioned. But one thing most people seem to neglect thinking about is that when you have so much power as the driver, you need to recognize that half the time, you think you should be driving but would be better off as a passenger.

Being a good passenger is equally as crucial as being a conscientious driver.

Evolving as a person is more about how you engage and absorb information, insights, and uncomfortable truths about yourself and the world around you than it is about being in control of everything. As a passenger, I've learned and unlearned many things. By being humble enough to let someone else take the wheel and giving them an equal share of my power, privilege, and positionality, I have grappled with my discomfort, ignorance, and the hurdles to my growth and development. And I honored those drivers in those moments by paying them back for their time and energy, amplifying their voices, and sharing my own time, energy, and resources to let them be passengers when they wanted to be. If we're all claiming to be on the same road and heading to the same destination, we should be taking shifts as the driver and passenger to give everyone on the trip the chance to be heard, seen, supported, elevated, and to rest, especially those with less privilege, power, and positionality.

That's one of the best road trips, y'all.

That's the road trip to liberation for all.

"28 Days of Anti-Racism"

Image description: an LED marquee display for the Lake Worth Beach City Hall. The left side of the marquee says, "Black History Month, February 1-28." The right side of the sign shows two hands shaking, with what one would presume is a Black hand looking garbled and discolored. Around the handshake are the words "28 Days of Anti-Racism."

"28 Days of Anti-Racism."

😳

March 1 is gonna be a damn mess in Lake Worth Beach, huh? White folx just unleashin' all the racism they've been bottling up for 28 days, chompin' at the bit to say the N-word out loud again!

Face, meet palm.

Oh, white people. Y'all try so hard sometimes and want so much credit for trying so hard, yet y'all miss the mark so often.

So many of us [melanated folx] give y'all leeway as much as we can, and we teach y'all for free so often, but then y'all put up signs like this. And y'all be so proud of these signs, too. Then you're so crushed when we're like, "No. Just no." Then you want to flip it on us, lash out at us and throw a fit over us, "making you feel like you're never going to get it right" instead of listening to us when we teach you and accepting that you'll never be perfect, but you can at least keep trying. But you've tried enough, right? We should accept that you've tried enough!

So we [melanated folx] inhale, exhale, and rinse and repeat with y'all for a while until we realize y'all seem to learn less and less the more we teach and share of ourselves to help you. So our willingness to keep teaching you diminishes over time. Y'all see this, and then y'all blame us for not wanting to teach you as the reason for your ineptitude and lack of empathy instead of looking inside and asking yourself what the hell you did or keep doing where melanated folx don't want to deal with you.

This is why y'all end up with marquees with messages like "28 Days of Anti-Racism."

White supremacy is the worst homage to Groundhog Day ever.

[Image description: an LED marquee display for the Lake Worth Beach City Hall. The left side of the marquee says, "Black History Month, February 1-28." The right side of the sign shows two hands shaking, with what one would presume is a Black hand looking garbled and discolored. Around the handshake are the words "28 Days of Anti-Racism."]