This Week's Opening Thought: October 21, 2024

This week's opening thought: I've had people of pallor and people of color who believe they benefit from white supremacy be straight-up, unapologetically racist right to my face with no qualms about how it might feel for me.

I prefer this over "polite" racism.

I prefer this over people saying things to me like, "I'm a credit to my race," or "You're not like the other ones," and expecting me to feel honored or flattered by their non-compliment.

I prefer this over people saying racist things about other melanated folx right in front of me and then looking at me for a co-sign because they've deemed me as safe.

I prefer this over people thinking that because I'm married to a person of pallor and I work in HR, I'm a willing participant in the oppression and harm of Black and Brown, Indigenous, Native, and melanated bodies.

I find no comfort in racism of any kind. But I find even more discomfort in the covert racism that protects somebody's belief that they are a "decent person" and places the burden of proof of harm on those they seek to directly and indirectly oppress and harm.

And what I just described was 80% of workplaces. UGH.

On Pokemon and Fake Friendships for Clout and Emotional Heavy-Lifting

I used to think that telling people of pallor and melanated folx raised by and in communities of pallor to make friends outside of their culture was sound advice. But the older I get, the more I think this is the kind of advice that should only be given after a thorough vibe check because some of y'all are out here on some Ash Ketchum sh—.

So many of y'all willingly miss the concept beyond the advice: to expand your understanding of cultures and communities outside of what you've been raised in and exposed to while addressing and dismissing the toxic stereotypes, phobias, and isms that you're accustomed to. The goal is to learn, unlearn, and evolve as a person, not collect ‘em all for brownie points and false credibility among those you exchange virtue signals with. The goal is to be a better person by unpacking how your ignorance of other cultures and identities has done harm and to do better, not finding a bunch of melanated folx to “befriend” who will hopefully absolve you of your guilt and do your emotional heavy lifting.

That's not friendship.

That's indentured servitude.

And frankly, my patience is too thin, my intelligence is too high (you do know that we know what you're doing, right?), and my ass is too phat to fit in your Pokeball.

And trust me, I know I'm not the only one who feels that way.

“Pharoah used, ‘Nah, I'm tight.’ It's super-effective!”

This Week's Opening Thought: October 7, 2024

This week's opening thought: Western culture loves talking about individualism until individualism means you as an individual have to own your contribution to an oppressive or harmful state of being. Then it's suddenly, "Well, this is a collective issue," or we're now "all in this together" when five minutes ago you were talkin' about how that one person over there needs to take responsibility for their actions or communicate differently.

Individual actions can and do impact collective survival and societal progress.

The harm you do as an individual harms the young people in your life who see you talk and behave in harmful ways, as they are now going to be carrying your unprocessed trauma and horrible actions in their brains and bodies.

The harm you do as an individual in a community or workplace amplifies the systemic oppressions of those spaces, harming the collective action of learning, unlearning, and growth needed for the collective to thrive and survive.

Being an individual in a society should come with an understanding of how easily individual decisions and actions can suppress, oppress, and damage the collective in micro and macro ways. The politics of Western society, especially over the last decade if you don't want to peer back even further, should clearly show you this, but Western culture wants us to think otherwise.

Being an individual in a collective means owning what you do and how you impact others in ways that help or harm collective progress. That means owning yourself before you go around trying to own others. It also means calling in or out others with humanity, even those individuals who have harmed others.

Be an individual who understands how they contribute or detract from the collective, not a collective of individuals.

There is a difference - and it ain't a subtle one.

A Thursday Tip

Hey, y'all! Happy Thursday! It's y'boy, Pharoah, with a Thursday tip for the people of pallor who follow me on this platform.

When y'all ask Black and Brown folx, Indigenous folx, and people of color in general if something you said or did is racist?

Yes.

The answer is always yes.

You don't even have to ask the question. Why?

Because if you're honest with yourself, you already know the answer is yes.

If you have to ask yourself that question, then take the question on the road to get a second opinion from a melanated person you know; the answer is an emphatic yes.

Heck, it's in many respects a racist act even to ask a person of color if you've done or said something racist and expect them to absolve you of your guilt or provide emotional labor for you as you grapple with your perpetuation of white supremacist ideologies.

You're not as naive as you think you are about this.

You know.

This Week's Opening Thought: September 24, 2024

This week's opening thought: Here's your reminder to maintain your peace by maintaining your boundaries. Boundaries are healthy.

The folx who always have something to say about you having boundaries are not.

A case in point is Shark Tank investor and long-time unhealthy person of pallor Kevin O'Leary, who has too much money on his hands made off the backs of others and too many "opinions" about respecting people's peace and boundaries.

Australia recently joined the ranks of countries like France, Spain, and Belgium by passing a “right to disconnect” law enacted on August 26. This legislation allows employees to step away from work-related communications outside their official working hours, ensuring that personal time remains personal. O'Leary's take on this? Quote:

"This kind of stuff just makes me crazy. It’s so dumb. Who dreams this crap up is my question. And why would anybody propose such a stupid idea? What happens if you have an event in the office and it’s closed? Or you have an emergency somewhere, and you have to get a hold of them at two in the morning because it affects the job they’re working on?”

He then said that he doesn't hesitate to fire people if he can't reach them at any time of day.

Not answering your phone at some random time of day or night when you're not scheduled to work is a healthy boundary.

Calling people with "urgent" matters at random times of the night because you're up, so everybody should be up and working, and if they're not, they are somehow "less than"? That is an indicator of an unhealthy person.

Do you think Kevin is a healthy person?

Just sayin'.

Gon' 'head and cut that phone off when your shift is over.

Be healthy.