Monday's Opening Thought: May 9, 2022

This week’s opening thought: Please take moments to disconnect from the weight of the world around us and focus on your mental, physical, and emotional health and joy.

I know the world is scary and dangerous. It’s easy for the things happening around us to permeate every part of our lives. Many of us are in a seemingly never-ending fight for our rights and autonomy against hateful people wielding what they call their religious convictions to harm. For many of us, our lives and our loved ones are at the whim of politicians and hate groups with no consequences or checks and balances for those causing harm. Depression and anxiety are real, and it is understandable if you’re struggling to stay afloat as the world burns. But you deserve to have time where you can disconnect and center on the things and people that bring you joy and energy. Don’t tether every waking moment of your day to news feeds. Yes, we need to fight and keep fighting, but you aren’t going to be fighting anything but health concerns if you don’t stop, breathe, and take care of yourself and your people.

Embrace joy.

Embrace you.

Embrace getting the support you need to center your mental, physical, and emotional health.

Sadly, this sh—we’re facing isn’t going anywhere. There’s a whole lot of fight ahead. I want you to be here so we can win these fights together.

Your people and those you fight for love you and want you to be here.

It's OK to take an afternoon, a morning, a day off. You deserve it. We all do.

Just Because You Could Be A Manager Doesn't Mean You Should Be A Manager

Image description: A white man in a business suit is cowering on the left side of a room while a gigantic suit jacket-covered right arm with a clenched fist comes toward him from the right side of the room.

Some people shouldn’t be managers, supervisors, senior leaders, or decision-makers for your company or organization.

If you’re thinking of promoting someone into a leadership role after working for your company for years - or you currently have folx who have been “locked into” management positions for years - and they:

• Regularly use the wrong pronouns when referring to employees, even after being corrected on multiple occasions;

• Consistently make sexist, racist, homophobic, xenophobic, ableist, and body-shaming comments or swiftly defend others in the organization who make similar comments;

•  Exhibit that they are unwilling or unable to receive feedback or take responsibility for issues in the workplace with direct correlation to them and their management style;

•  Have a multitude of employee-submitted grievances or employee complaints on file;

•  Have shown an unwillingness to do their work and process their beliefs and views around racism, white supremacy, misogyny, hate, and oppressive states and how all of the aforementioned do harm to others;

•  Make an ordeal and power play out of employees needing time off or flexible scheduling to take care of themselves and their families;

•  Shame or belittle employees who ask for support or accommodations at work;

•  Gleefully gossips about others in the company, especially those in their department, and often with derogatory comments about their appearance or what they perceive as the person’s work ethic;

•  Regularly responds to emails from Global Majority folx by ignoring the content of said emails and sending them a list of “corrections”;

• Routinely participates in or facilitates gaslighting and invalidation activities toward employees from marginalized communities who speak up, call in, and call out;

Then this person shouldn’t be a manager, supervisor, senior leader, or decision-maker for your company or organization. And if you think they should, and that none of the above should factor into your decision to make them a leader or decision-maker?

All of the above likely fits you like a glove as well.

YOU probably shouldn’t be a manager, supervisor, senior leader, or decision-maker for your company or organization.

Monday's Opening Thought: May 2, 2022

Image description: An image from "The Bachelor." A white man, facing away from the viewer while wearing a Black suit, is handing a rose to a white woman in a black and white-striped evening gown.

This week's opening thought: There's a swath of white adult "professionals" out here dealing with the consequences of their hateful actions, many for the first time. They decided to go online and harass Black women, Brown women, and queer folx and found themselves unemployed after those they attacked sent their employer the screenshots. Some have been bullying and harming people in their workplaces for years and are finally being held accountable for their actions and are currently one step away from being unemployed. Some are being recorded saying and doing harmful things in public places and finding out that the companies they work for don’t want to be associated with their toxicity, leaving them to apply for unemployment. I don’t wish unemployment on anyone.

But it couldn’t happen to a nicer set of folx.

That lack of accountability for their actions that permeates whiteness hits hard when their chickens finally come home to roost, and they have to pay the price. We’re seeing more and more white “professionals” having to pay up, and their world is legitimately rocked. We’re seeing their victimhood come to the surface, their unwillingness to digest that if you harm others, you have to take responsibility for that harm and the consequences that come with it. It’s wild to watch. It’s something I never thought I’d see in my lifetime, and I am here for it. Don't want to lose your job for harassing and harming Black women and people of color? Then don't harass and harm Black women and people of color. Not "don't get caught," like the "good old days," but don’t start at all because it's so easy to gather the receipts and return your ass to the store for a refund.

Legitimate accountability and the consequences of their actions are shaking white “professionals” to their core. Of course, they think they are victims of all of this as they lose their jobs and fracture their networks because people don’t want to be associated with them. That’s what generations of no accountability and no consequences will do to you. I can't imagine how insulating and infantilizing never having to take responsibility for your actions can be and how invincible it makes many white people feel. They can't stomach losing their cloak of invincibility, y’all, and it’s guilty pleasure-level, popcorn-worthy viewing. And I don't even feel guilty about watching it.

Is this how watching “The Bachelor” feels?

Monday's Opening Thought: April 25, 2022

This week’s opening thought: If you’re a recruiter, HR “professional” in charge of recruiting efforts for an organization, hiring manager, or hiring committee member in 2022, and you’re still asking the following questions (or some version of these questions):

“Tell me about yourself.”

“What would you say are your strengths?”

“What would you say is your biggest weakness?”

“Where do you see yourself in five years?”

“Have you ever been fired?”

“What was the worst trait of your previous manager?”

“What did you like least about your last job?”

“Why do you want this job?”

“How does your experience relate to this job?”

‍“I’m interviewing other candidates for this role. Why should I hire you?"

“Where do you live?”

“What year did you graduate?”

“Describe yourself in three words.”

“Describe yourself in one sentence.”

“What country are you from?”

“What is your race?”

“What is your current salary?”

“Have you been convicted of a crime?”

“Have you ever been arrested?”

“Do you have a disability?”

“Are you married?”

“Do you have kids you have to drop off and pick up from school every day?”

“Are you a religious person?”

“Are there any religious holidays you observe?”

“Are you pregnant?”

“Are you planning on starting a family anytime soon?”

“Do you have kids? How many?”

“What are your child care arrangements?”

You shouldn’t feel the need to question why you’re losing awesome candidates to other companies. You shouldn’t feel the need to wonder why candidates keep removing themselves from the running halfway through your recruiting process. You shouldn’t feel the need to wonder why Global Majority folx, people of color, and folx from marginalized communities are leaving your company.

All of the answers you seek are in the questions you ask.

P.S.: Before you ask, yes, people are still asking these questions in interviews. I had an interview last week, and the recruiter asked me three of these questions - and he only asked me five questions. I'll let y'all guess which three. People regularly tell me about the questions they get asked in interviews, and this list only scratches the surface.