This Week's Opening Thought: October 3, 2022

Image description: a meme. The following words are at the top of the meme: "There's so much to learn about racism! Where do I start? Oh! I know! I'll ask every person of color I know!' Anti-Starter Kit." Below those words are the Google logo, a library card, a stack of anti-racism books, and the logos for Hulu, Netflix, and Prime Video.

This week's opening thought for white folx who recently "discovered" racism, anti-Blackness, and white supremacy: there are way too many learning tools at your disposal at this point for you to place your "learning needs" on the melanated folx in your life. 

There are thousands of documentaries, films, and literature on the abovementioned subjects. Yet some of y'all act as if you've never heard of Netflix or the library before. And I know y'all have heard of Netflix because some of y'all have some "opinions" about The Sandman that you've shared with myself and other melanated folx that clearly shows you have a lot of learning and unlearning to do.

Life isn't a school group project where somebody else does the heavy lifting, and you get a passing grade. You have to do YOUR part in YOUR unlearning and self-reflection - and that "your" part is, like, 95% of the work you need to do to maintain and sustain being actively anti-racist and anti-oppressive. That part has nothin' to do with my Black ass. People of color, Black people, Black women, do not owe you "free" learning experiences that cost us our energy, dignity, and peace.

You better hit up Google, Hulu, and the library, yo.

[Image description: a meme. The following words are at the top of the meme: "There's so much to learn about racism! Where do I start? Oh! I know! I'll ask every person of color I know!' Anti-Starter Kit." Below those words are the Google logo, a library card, a stack of anti-racism books, and the logos for Hulu, Netflix, and Prime Video.]

This Week's Opening Thought: September 26, 2022

This week’s opening thought: Boston Celtics head coach Ime Udoka is in the news for having a consensual relationship with a cis female staff member of the Boston Celtics organization. The fallout of this abuse of power has dominated segments of the news cycle for days. And yes, before anyone decides to go in on me, this situation is an abuse of power. We’re not going to debate that. And while I have a fundamental problem with people in power having relationships with employees in their organizations who have less power and stature within said organizations, there’s one thing that stood out for me in all the news coverage of Udoka’s indiscretions:

NFL football legend Brett Favre helped a group of white folx commit large-scale welfare fraud, and no one is talking about it.

A rich white cis male who made his money in a heteronormative sport is being investigated for blatant large-scale welfare fraud, and the press and the sports media have barely discussed it.

It’s not even second-page news at this point.

As the situation with Ime Udoka unfolds, its fallout should be the point of discussion around more significant conversations regarding abuses of power and control in our workplaces. But to act like Brett Favre and a group of white people who saw a system to exploit shouldn’t also be a discussion we should be having parallel to the Udoka conversation is surreal.

If we’re talking about abuses of power and privilege, we need to be talking about all of the abuses of power and privilege, not just the ones with melanated folx in the forefront as public figures.

P.S.: Impoverished Black folx in Mississippi are also at the forefront as public figures in the large-scale welfare fraud that Favre and his homies perpetrated. This fraud harms Black communities. The news cycles want to act like they aren’t at the forefront and that their harm isn’t worth discussing. If you learn one thing today, understand that whiteness will always use melanin to harm others, whether as full-on spectacles or bodies to sweep under the rug.

This Week's Opening Thought: September 12, 2022

This week's opening thought: Real talk? I have no energy to put into debates with white people and Global Majority folx who are unwilling to untether themselves from white supremacy's anchors about topics like Queen Elizabeth II's passing. Her family has all the right in the world to mourn her passing. But if we're all expected to collectively front about what the Royal Family has, does, and will continue to represent on a global scale and act like the now-deceased Queen wasn't someone who capitalized from and perpetuated colonization and hate, then we're trippin', y'all.

We're supposed to all be mourning the passing of a person with a title that doesn't matter anymore who didn't want melanated children in her family, obviously looked down on most people and communities of color across the world, and has hundreds of white supremacist colonizer photo ops on the books. Y'all serious?

Nah. I'm tight. Miss me with that.

No debate.

I will put some energy into debating with y'all Jay-Z's "God Did" verse, however. Frankly, it's not his best work, yet some of y'all are acting like it's the verse of the year! What's up with that?

Discuss.

This Week's Opening Thought: September 6, 2022

This week’s opening thought: people change when they feel it is worthwhile for them and the people in their lives to change and evolve, to be better, more equitable, and humane individuals.

The homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic, ableist, racist, classist, white supremacy-driven, religion-bashing people in your life could change if they felt it was worthwhile.

But they don’t.

Real talk? No matter how much you try to reason with those family members, parents, long-time friends, and co-workers to help them see how their hateful views harm you and others, you’ll walk away sad and frustrated. No matter how much empathy you try to hold for them, those people send you a loud and clear message: changing their beliefs for you isn’t a worthwhile enough endeavor.

Yeah, that sounds harsh. I know it does. And I don’t mean to harm anyone with these words. But I have been on the journey you’re likely on right now, trying to “reform” hateful people, and that journey is a long and painful one that rarely yields positive dividends. Some people in your life will never stop being harmful to you, no matter how much they swear they love and care about you. Who you are will always be in direct opposition with their comfort and need to be hateful to avoid processing their traumas.

You deserve better relationships than that. We all do.

Don’t allow co-dependence and the “eternal hope” that someone will change and evolve to stop you from seeing that it is time for your energy to be placed elsewhere. You deserve warmth and sunshine, not a reasonable facsimile thereof.

This Week's Opening Thought: August 15, 2022

This week’s opening thought: I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it is more than OK to just go to work, do your job, and go home. Don’t let white supremacist patriarchal workplace culture tell you otherwise.

You don’t need “family.” You’ve got family at home. Work ain’t the Olive Garden unless you work at the Olive Garden. And even then? When you’re there, you ain’t family. It’s a job, yo.

You don’t need to participate in workplace gossip and be privy to John in Accounting not liking Cheryl from the Development team. That sh—ain’t got nothing to do with you, and contrary to popular belief, knowing all the goings-on in the office doesn’t build team chemistry or camaraderie. It creates animosity and a lack of trust and faith in others.

You don’t need to attend every after-work extracurricular activity, like the happy hours, company picnics, and holiday “celebrations.” I can tell you from experience that going to those things won’t give you an extra step up over someone for a promotion or pay raise, especially if you’re Black, Brown, or Indigenous. I can also tell you from experience that hanging out with work acquaintances while they drink and say and do the same ignorant things they do at work is not fun. And besides, they ain’t paying you.

Some of y’all probably read the above and thought, “That’s pretty antisocial Pharoah.” Is it, though? I’m not saying not to build working relationships that allow you to complete your workload in a cohesive and timely manner. I’m not saying you shouldn’t care about the people you work with 40 hours a week. I’m saying that the “social norms” of white supremacist patriarchal workplace culture isn’t being sociable – it’s a culture of enmeshment that causes short and long-term harm. What most workplaces consider a “family culture” is, in actuality, a busted rickety toxic family system that has only ever worked for a select few.

White supremacist workplace cultures breed a particular “we’re a team of soloists” mentality that echoes the collective heteronormative society. Most workplace cultures thrive on divisiveness and pettiness. They thrive on belittlement and scapegoating. Their lifeblood is using others to get ahead and supporting a lack of empathy and care from the top down. And real talk?

Nobody needs to spend more time in those environments than they already do.

It is OK to go to work, do your job, and go home. The people at your job are not your “family.”

You’ve got family at home, whether “conventional” or chosen.

Your allegiance is to you and yours, first and foremost. Your allegiance is not to the toxic environment that pays your bills. Your allegiance is to your joy, happiness, and harnessing the energy you want to have to be present in your life outside work.

Clock out on time and throw up dem deuces on the way out the door.