2022: A (Personal) Year in Review

Image Description: A wooden table is adorned with green, yellow, and blue lights. The words “Happy New Year” are spelled out with Scrabble tiles. The year 2023 is displayed below them, each number carved out of white wood.

Sitting in my home on the last evening of 2022, I can't help but take a moment to step back and look at the year that was. 2022 was…interesting. Up, down, surreal, and interesting. For me, 2022 was not only my 40th year on Earth but one big ass learning experience.

2022 was a year of me trying to find my creative spark again while grappling with swallowing the hard pill of why my spark was gone.

2022 was the year that I began taking my mental and emotional health more seriously and learning how to process generational and personal trauma.

2022 was the year I started my lifelong journey of addressing codependence in my personal and professional lives.

2022 was the year I began learning about and recognizing how much harm codependence has caused me in relation to family members and co-workers who have not addressed their codependence.

2022 was the year that I decided to take a hiatus from being an in-house anti-racism trainer and facilitator for companies and organizations.

2022 was also the year that I decided to make that hiatus permanent once I realized how much better I felt not doing anti-racism work as an in-house employee with no autonomy or support.

2022 was the year that I had to sit with myself and mull over if I wanted to work in human resources anymore after realizing how my codependence was interconnected with how angry and powerless I've felt as an HR "professional."

2022 was the year that I began figuring out what being an empathetic, human-centered, boundary-oriented HR "professional" looked like and putting these lessons and ideas into action.

2022 was the year that becoming the HR "professional" I need to be to maintain my mental and emotional health and well-being was met with more jeers than cheers, not just from other HR "professionals" but many people in power in organizations I worked for.

2022 was the year that vitriolic emails, comments, and messages from HR "professionals" expressing their anger with me holding the field of Human Resources accountable for the harm that it perpetuates and upholds outweighed the "hate mail" I received from every other field.

2022 was the year that more Global Majority HR "professionals" and HR "professionals" of color tried to silence me, chastise me, and tell me to leave the field of HR "if I don't like it" than Global Majority folx from any other profession and occupation.

2022 was the year that white "professionals" got angry with me when I would no longer engage in "debates" with them or accept connection requests from them on LinkedIn and my social media channels. How angry did they get? So angry that a group of them collectively reported everything I posted for three weeks, intending to get me banned from multiple platforms for "hate speech." And they almost succeeded, too, with me having to have numerous discussions and go through various appeals with LinkedIn and Instagram safety personnel.

That's a lot of sh--, ain't it?

Real talk? Sure, all of the above happened this year. But I find myself on December 31 healthier than I have ever been. I'm happier. I've had more joy between sorrow and pain this year than I have in years, and that joy has outweighed the pain more than ever. Nothing's perfect. There's still a lot of work to continue doing to take care of myself and to continue healing. But even amid the healing and work ahead, I'm the best version of me I've ever been.

Sometimes you need a year of transformation and intention-setting to set up the next stage of your life. For me, 2022 was that year. If you're going to have a transformational year, having it be your fortieth year on Earth ain't a bad time for it to happen, y'know?

I hope that if you're reading this and 2022 was a struggle for you, there is a light at the end of that tunnel and hope on the horizon. I know it's not always easy to find that hope, to embrace joy amid pain, but I wish you nothing but forward progress in 2023. I hope you can do what you need to process the trauma and pain of 2022 and the years past and begin a new journey of health and joy in the coming year. And whatever your journey looks like, I hope you have people to help you when you stumble on the path because I know from experience that the path is full of rocky terrain.

Out with the old. In with the new. Auld Lang Syne. Drink responsibly—all that jazz. Make it home safe.

Here's to (hopefully) less B.S. and more joy, growth, and the energy to live as authentically as we can in a beautiful, ugly world.

Adios, 2022. Salud, 2023.

On Crappy Supervisors and the Workplace Cultures That Protect Them

I've seen a lot of posts on social media throughout 2022 about people leaving companies because of toxic supervisors. This is a valid and legitimate reason why people leave jobs and organizations. With that said, let's not leave out the fact that if you had a crappy supervisor, it's because the company's culture and workplace norms are designed to prop up and protect crappy people who espouse the company's "values."

Patriarchal white supremacist workplace culture norms and practices are why your former supervisor can be abusive, hateful, racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic, and ableist, yet face no repercussions for their words and actions.

Patriarchal white supremacist workplace culture norms and practices are why your former supervisor still has a job at your former employer and will stay employed for as long as they want. In contrast, people in your former role will cycle in and out of the organization like a revolving door. They, too, will seek help but soon realize it's just best for them to find another job.

Your former supervisor? They are long overdue for being held accountable for the harm they've caused you and countless others during their tenure at your former employer. But don’t let your former employer off the hook.

They prioritized norms, comfort, and fear of changing and evolving over keeping you as an employee and treating you like a person.

There’s enough accountability to go around. Trust me.

On Fresh Baked Bread and Finding The Medium of Identity and Career Aspirations

Image description: A picture of fresh-baked herb focaccia bread. The bread has been sliced into squares.

As a melanated person, a Black person, in white-centered workplaces, I speak from experience when I say a great deal of energy and a sense of grounding and peace comes from not caving into the "norms" and demands of white supremacist workplace culture ideology as a means of survival. It is liberating to work toward finding the medium in your career that allows you to maintain your identity while thriving personally and financially. With that said, I can also say that by doing so, you open yourself up to a great deal of uncertainty in your future employment opportunities.

Everybody isn't going to be too keen on you maintaining who you are, even those who claim that's why they hired you. They'll expect you to be someone different, to change yourself, and make yourself "acceptable." They will verbalize these expectations, putting your job on the line and leaving you feeling like you're inadequate or a "bad" employee. There will be times when you decide to change yourself to protect yourself. Those moments will hurt, and you might find yourself harboring some resentment, anger, or disappointment toward yourself because you won't feel as protected as you thought. You might not feel protected at all. You may feel more unsafe than ever in your workplace. You'll feel alone.

But you're not alone, far from it.

So many people are flipping that same coin every day because of the world we live in and the workplaces our society has cultivated.

Please know that you are not alone. Please know that I do not judge you because I've been in your shoes and see the weight you carry with your decisions. If anything, I wish you the space and energy to find ways not to shrink who you are and what you bring to the workplace into a trail of crumbs instead of the fresh, robust focaccia you genuinely are. It's not easy, but I promise it is worth it.

Sending you energy and love as you navigate the quagmire of career employment.

P.S.: Yeah, I just compared you to bread. Focaccia, to be exact. Your future and needs are decadent fuel for your soul, like focaccia. You know what? Maybe you should have some focaccia and dipping oil and call it a day. You deserve it.

On Job Duties, Burnout, and Being "Grateful for the Opportunity"

Workplaces pay people $15 or less per hour and expect the equivalent of a $40 per hour employee's work rate and workload in return with no "guff" from those employees.

Workplaces pay people $40 per hour and expect people to give them the equivalent of absolute subservience while being willing to have no boundaries around separating their work from their life and needs with no backtalk or asking for a lighter load.

Neither situation is equitable.

No position should ever feel so overwhelming that people are in a constant state of burnout.

No position should ever be set up in a way that makes employees feel like if they speak up about how their role overwhelms them, they'll lose their job or face retaliation.

No one should be made to feel they should be "grateful for an opportunity," so they should "earn their pay" and overwork when companies could take the time to distribute job duties among multiple positions to mitigate burnout.

Companies need to quit actin' as if they own us when we agree to work for them and have the right to drain us.

Companies need to build more equitable job descriptions that factor in what a legitimately reasonable workload looks like for a position.

And that has nothing to do with whether you're paying someone $15 or $40 an hour.

On "Quiet Quitting"

"Quiet quitting."

"Quiet."

"Quitting."

Bruh.

That's just having boundaries, clocking in and out on time, and not answering emails and phone calls after you clock out. I do that every day.

That's what you should be doing. That's what we all should've been doing for decades.

They're saying that "quiet quitting" is doing the bare minimum by clocking out on time and not answering emails and calls after your working hours are done. Um, what? That isn't doing the bare minimum. That's called doing your job. That's always been technically called doing your job.

Do you mean to tell me y'all created jargon for doing your job, going home when it's time to call it a day, and not answering random emails and texts at 11:33p on a Saturday night? Did y'all legitimately go out of your way to create buzzwords for not overworking and being on 24/7? Are we really at a point in our collective existence where doing your job and clocking out on time is seen as rebellious?

What an abusive relationship we've inherited from those generations before us. What a toxic relationship we've cultivated with the concept of work. Oy vey.