On O'Shae, Renaissance, Homophobia, Anti-Blackness, and the Intersection Where They Touch

Trigger warning: homophobia, anti-Blackness, hate crimes.

O'Shae Sibley stopped for gas at a gas station with friends. He exited the car to dance to Beyoncé's Renaissance, playing in their car. O'Shae Sibley and his friends were accosted by a group of men who "told them to stop dancing" and started using homophobic slurs. During the attack, Sibley and Otis Pena, a best friend of Sibley's, responded to the slurs used by the other men: "Stop saying that. There is nothing wrong with being gay."

During the confrontation, one of the men stabbed Sibley. O'Shae was taken to the hospital and pronounced dead shortly after his arrival.

Otis, who tried to stop O'Shae's bleeding after the stabbing, posted a video to Facebook following his friend's death: "They murdered him because he's gay, because he stood up for his friends. His name was O'Shae, and you all killed him. You all murdered him right in front of me."

O'Shae just wanted to dance.

O'Shae was just living his joy.

But evidently, you're just not allowed to dance, be joyful, and express yourself while Black and gay.

And now O'Shae's life is over, and the just things that need to happen to avenge his unnecessary murder will likely not happen.

O'Shae just wanted to live.

Black queer people just want to live, yet we receive so much violence and homophobia and hate from inside and outside Black communities with such unrelenting torrential force that we drown in the waters generated by the spittle attached to the slurs and...

It shouldn't be this hard to just be, y'all.

It's just too damn hard.

[Image description: An image of O'Shae Sibley, a young Black man, dancing with a grouping of dancers from the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater. O'Shae is at the forefront of the image, wearing a yellow sleeveless shirt and black pants. He is dancing, laughing, looking into the distance. His body language exudes joy.]

Image description: An image of O'Shae Sibley, a young Black man, dancing with a grouping of dancers from the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater. O'Shae is at the forefront of the image, wearing a yellow sleeveless shirt and black pants. He is dancing, laughing, looking into the distance. His body language exudes joy.

On Affirmative Action and the Designing of Systems

Affirmative action.

It's wild to me that the United States always finds a way to ensure the melanated, especially Black, Brown, and Indigenous folx, know that they don't deserve anything. No options. No opportunities. No possibilities for advancement or breaking the generational shackles of white supremacy.

It's wild to me that those who have power and positionality provided by their proximity to white supremacy (or, in some cases, those who sell their souls to garner favor from white supremacy) get to make decisions that impact those whom laws were supposed to support and amplify.

It's also wild to me that white supremacy continues to try and wield Global Majority folx as weapons against one another, in this case, trying to place the onus for their decision to dismantle affirmative action on the heads of AAPI communities so they don't have to take ownership of the fact that white supremacy's goal is to own nothing that it inflicts upon those it views as less than.

It's wild but not surprising.

It's all working by design.

Let's be honest with ourselves. Affirmative action was appeasement. Affirmative action had become a tool almost exclusively structured for white women to achieve academic access. The data shows this. Hell, white women were suing colleges and universities a few years ago because they felt they didn't get the college placements they "deserved." However, it was one of the only things still in place in this country that remotely offered educational access and socioeconomic progress to communities that were never meant to move beyond poverty, hate, and enslavement. And when you live in a country that likes to parade around how good it believes it is to its citizenry for the world to see, you find yourself clinging to the ledge where the little things you fought for by the tips of your fingers while hoping something better will come.

But we're not getting something better this time, are we?

Instead, we're getting an oily ledge that will impact the grips of melanated folx for generations.

All by design.

The beat goes on. The generational chains of poverty will continue to chafe the wrists and ankles of Black bodies. The progeny of the Black bodies that endured being considered subhuman slaves for hundreds of years will still be regarded as such. AAPI communities will continue to be weaponized to harm others in the name of whiteness, preserving the perceived right to power and comfort of whiteness while doing generational harm to AAPI folx. White women will continue to have the ability to harm melanated folx and take opportunities from their communities because of their proximity to white masculine cisgender societal norms, losing a system of advancement that catered to them exclusively for decades but believing that this decision is not aimed at them. Hence, their place in the pecking order is "safe."

The design is working.

It just isn't working for those who aren't white.

By design.

On Juneteenth and Bank Holidays

TW: mentions sexual assault, rape, white supremacy, and chattel slavery.

I do not like that Juneteenth is a federal holiday. I have always wanted the unmelanted masses to be educated on the history and significance of Juneteenth, but I never wanted it to be recognized as a damn bank holiday. Why?

Because I will never be OK with people of pallor having Juneteenth off work like it’s just another three-day weekend.

Like, what are you off of work for, white people? Are you comfortable chillin’ out on what should be a day of service and reflection for your people? Do y'all think you somehow deserve a day off that directly results from the generational trauma your ancestors created that we're all still impacted by?

Do you look at Juneteenth as a celebration that you get to participate in? If so, what are you celebrating? Are you celebrating the fact that your ancestors enslaved, murdered, and raped my ancestors and then willingly neglected to inform my ancestors that they were technically free and no longer their hateful owners? Are you celebrating the ongoing appropriation, subjugation, and murder that your ancestors popularized as suitable actions toward my ancestors that you and yours still perpetuate?

I will say this every year until the day I die: Juneteenth is not for you, white people.

White people: Until y'all do right by me and mine, may your Juneteenth barbecues lack seasoning, your “red velvet” cupcakes lack moisture, and your red punch taste like bog water.

And you can read that last part in your head in the voice of Celie from The Color Purple.

And note that I said “in your head” because you better not do a Celie impression out loud!

A Sunday Thought for White People

A Sunday thought for white people: If you've spent the last 3-5 years or more going to “diversity” and anti-racism and white supremacy dismantling trainings while reading a zillion books on these topics, yet you still automatically jump to defensive maneuvers, white fragility and violence when you or another white person you know is called in or out for their conscious or unconscious hateful words or actions then you need to call it a day because you haven't or are unwilling to learn how not to be a perpetual danger to Black folx, melanated folx, and the Global Majority.

You're not learning or integrating anything you're exposed to or reading into your daily life. All you're doing is inadvertently making yourself more dangerous to Black and Brown folx, to melanated folx. Because you’re enmeshed in white supremacist ideology and scared of acknowledging and processing how you do and have harmed melanated folx, all you're getting from all the books and trainings are additional weapons to wield against the Global Majority when you feel “in danger” and a false sense of superiority over other white people. Until you’re willing and able to do the work, you're going to need to digest the fact that you are going through the motions for kudos and clout. And you expect melanated folx, the Global Majority, to provide you those kudos and co-signs. And that kind of performative nonsense is for you, not for me and mine like so many of you like to claim it is.

Do me a favor: don't do me no favors.

Go read a Nicholas Sparks novel or something.