On Communication and Fighting Muscle Atrophy

Too many people think they’re great communicators and listeners while not being good at either. Many communication issues I’ve helped people work through in their personal and professional lives stem from people not understanding how legitimately hard communication is. The truth is that communication and active listening skills are memory muscles that need to get meaningful reps to maintain their effectiveness.

Knowing your primary communication and conflict management styles and being conscious of how fluid communication and conflict management styles can be depending on the circumstances are oft-neglected nuances that lead to miscommunication and escalated conflicts.

Understanding the necessity of being an active and engaged listener, in listening and reiterating key points shared with you before responding, is the difference between people feeling heard and validated when they share themselves with you or feeling neglected and unheard.

Some of y’all will read all that and think, “Why do I have to do all the heavy lifting? Why isn’t the other person working on their communication skills?” You’re going to have to let that go. You can’t control the willingness of other people to put in the work to be better communicators and listeners. But you can damn sure work on yourself and model how necessary these skills are to others personally and professionally. Maybe they’ll catch on and rethink the ways they communicate. Perhaps they won’t. What matters is that you’re getting your reps in. And I guarantee you will see some gains, even if those gains are centered on your fulfillment, learning, and growth.

Don’t let these memory muscles atrophy.

Consulting and Coaching for EDI Consultants and Trainers is Here!

So announcement time! I am now offering anti-racism consulting, equity and inclusion consulting, burnout mitigation guidance, and overall support for anti-racism and equity trainers, facilitators, and consultants.

I know from experience how heavy, draining, and isolating this work can be. I’ve faced periods of burnout, fatigue, and shaken faith in the purpose of this hard but necessary work. I’ve been fortunate enough to come out of the other side of these struggles with new practices to center my mental and emotional health and well-being while de-centering the guilt and failure that can often come with doing this vital work in white supremacist workplaces. I want to take my decade of experience in the trenches, implementing difficult change in workplaces while centering myself to have the energy to support others, dismantle feelings of guilt and failure, and de-center whiteness to work for other EDI consultants, trainers, and facilitators.

The goal of this service? To offer consultants something that isn’t always accessible or available to them: a thought partner with experience implementing and executing short-term and long-term strategies while supporting EDI practitioners and leading groups and networking events tailored to giving EDI practitioners a community in an isolating field of work.

So many EDI practitioners are doing this work in areas and regions of the United States where they do not have a team, thought partners, accomplices, or general support in their endeavors. So many folx across the United States want to begin careers focused on pushing for equity, inclusion, and anti-racism in systems and workplaces but don’t know where to start or what their focus should be. Thanks to technology, though, I can offer support and insight to folx nationwide and help you fulfill your goals in this work while taking care of yourself. This means we can work together to remove those barriers to thought partnership, learning, coaching, and community and help EDI practitioners find their mental, emotional, and physical footing in this work.

Are you thinking of starting a career in equity and inclusion but are unsure of where to start? I can help you navigate what approaches and focus areas will utilize and amplify your lived experience, perspectives, and talents.

Are you an EDI consultant, trainer, or facilitator who is struggling with burnout and feelings of failure? I can help you begin re-centering yourself inside and outside of your work and embrace ways to take care of your mental and emotional health.

Are you an EDI consultant, trainer, or facilitator who is struggling to get over the white fragility/violence discomfort wall with a client? I can help you get your head around building and implementing new approaches to discussion and training that can break down those barriers while de-centering white comfort.

Are you an EDI consultant, trainer, or facilitator who is struggling with feeling isolated in your work and looking for not only solidarity but a thought partner and confidant? I can be your thought partner and a new line of support.

My rate for these specially focused consults is $150 for one (1) 60-90 minute session; a 4-session package is available for $550. The initial meeting to discuss your needs and focus areas and to ascertain if I am the right fit for the support you’re seeking is free. If you decide to move forward with me after the initial consult I will begin my work with you collaborating on building a roadmap regarding what we’ll be working on/focusing on together that is flexible yet centered on your needs and goals. We will use that roadmap to kickstart our work.

If you are an anti-racism and equity trainer, facilitator, or consultant and you think I might be able to help you with any of the above (or possibly even something not listed above) please feel free to drop me a line so we can take action together!