On Communication and Fighting Muscle Atrophy
Too many people think they’re great communicators and listeners while not being good at either. Many communication issues I’ve helped people work through in their personal and professional lives stem from people not understanding how legitimately hard communication is. The truth is that communication and active listening skills are memory muscles that need to get meaningful reps to maintain their effectiveness.
Knowing your primary communication and conflict management styles and being conscious of how fluid communication and conflict management styles can be depending on the circumstances are oft-neglected nuances that lead to miscommunication and escalated conflicts.
Understanding the necessity of being an active and engaged listener, in listening and reiterating key points shared with you before responding, is the difference between people feeling heard and validated when they share themselves with you or feeling neglected and unheard.
Some of y’all will read all that and think, “Why do I have to do all the heavy lifting? Why isn’t the other person working on their communication skills?” You’re going to have to let that go. You can’t control the willingness of other people to put in the work to be better communicators and listeners. But you can damn sure work on yourself and model how necessary these skills are to others personally and professionally. Maybe they’ll catch on and rethink the ways they communicate. Perhaps they won’t. What matters is that you’re getting your reps in. And I guarantee you will see some gains, even if those gains are centered on your fulfillment, learning, and growth.
Don’t let these memory muscles atrophy.
