On Independence, White Apathy Masquerading as Empathy, Black Bodies and Policing

TW: anti-Blackness, murder, police violence.

To white “professionals”:

Jayland Walker.

Say his name.

Quit acting like the murder of Black bodies at the hands of the police isn’t a regular part of U.S. American life. You know better than that by now.

Quit questioning why this keeps happening. You already know the answers to these questions.

Quit offering condolences or making performative social media posts. There ain’t enough black squares and “we need to do better” posts in the world that will ever supplant white people taking legitimate action to unwrap the lack of accountability and white supremacist ideology the U.S. was built on.

Quit watching and sharing the video of Jayland being shot by Akron, Ohio police more than 60 times. It’s not the “liberal” flex you think it is. No one needs to watch that pain. You sharing the video of that pain is a symbol of your lack of care for Black people’s trauma.

Quit thinking the Black people in your workplace or community only need a few days to heal and will be OK because they have the 4th of July off and/or a 3-day weekend. Most of us haven’t healed from the last murder by police in our cities or in this country, let alone everything else that has transpired lately in this country. And most of us hate the 4th of July. We’re using it as a day to stay the hell away from y’all and get into a headspace where we can exist for a few days at work around y’all to get back to another weekend so we heal some more.

Quit doing all of the above and start asking yourself why you do all of the above. And unpack that sh— on your time. Don’t put the labor of your messy white supremacist sh— on Black folx as your white fragility/violence sounding boards.

Enjoy your ribs and your small explosives that harm veterans and pets.

Independence.

On "Multiple Truths," White Supremacist Workplace Culture, and the Right to Comfort

I used to have a white supervisor who hired me to do equity and anti-racism work. I would tell them the findings of my investigations into incidents of racism and white supremacy. I told them about my conversations with employees and the discomfort that many white employees, especially senior leadership, had with discussing the topics of racism and white supremacy. This supervisor, the organization's CEO, regularly tried their damndest to explain why this was the case. When I wouldn't allow them to blame me for the discomfort of their white leaders or place the blame on other factors (including placing responsibility on the few employees of color they had), they opted to try a tactic as old as time: gaslighting. Not only gaslighting, mind you, but a very particular kind of gaslighting intended to remove responsibility from the shoulders of white leaders.

This CEO told me that what I was sharing with them was one of "many truths" about what was going on in their workplace.

They said there were "multiple truths" at play and that we needed to consider the "truths" of the white people in the organization. They began trying to push the narrative that the organization needed me to center the "psychological comfort" of white senior leaders so that they could "speak their truth" and "be heard."

Yeah...no.

Hell no.

I shut that nonsense down quicker than a hiccup.

My time with that organization didn't last much longer past that moment.

Listen here, white "professionals": there is no such thing as "multiple truths" if your employees and colleagues that are part of the Global Majority are harmed by your white supremacist workplace culture and white people with power in your organization. There are no "multiple truths" at play if you are called in or called out for being racist. No " truth " will absolve you from being responsible for your toxicity. The only "truth" we should be talking about is that you don't want accountability for your racist beliefs, actions, and company policies and procedures. You don't get to decide that your narrative of your racism, and upholding white supremacy should be viewed on the same level as the truth shared by those you harm.

I don't deal in "multiple truths" or "alternative truths."

That's harmful people sh--.

That's harmful white people who don't want to be held accountable for their toxicity sh--. I don't support that nonsense, regardless of salary.

Your "truth" when it comes to racism and upholding white comfort is invalid because your "truth" is a good/bad binary white supremacist fairytale, white “professionals.”

And that's the truth, ruth.

On Interview Questions, Nicholas Sparks, and Unrealistic Love

Image description: A scene from the film adaptation of the Nicholas Sparks novel "The Notebook." Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams, the film's two white co-stars, are kissing in the rain, both of them heavily drenched. Ryan Gosling is lifting Rachel McAdams up. Rachel's legs are wrapped around Ryan Gosling's waist.

I think it's time for us to collectively agree to stop asking candidates interviewing for positions the question, "Why do you want to work here?" (especially if you're asking that question because you seek candidates ready to enter into a "love affair" with your employer). Why should we all agree to stop asking this question?

1. You're looking for someone who's in love with your company. You're looking for someone to gush over how awesome your company is, not a candidate that could do a great job. Real talk? It's weird to expect someone to love your workplace without working for you for at least six months, which is usually when people know if they even like working for you (note: for marginalized folx, that timeframe is generally shorter). Just because a candidate loves the PR work your company did to put a positive image out on the internet and the DEIA blurbs and proclamations on your company website don't mean the reality of working for your company won't leave them wanting more.

2. You realize that many candidates who apply for positions with your company are applying because they have the skills and experience you claim you're seeking and are just looking for steady employment, right? Sometimes a job is just an end to a means. Sometimes it's doing what you need to do to survive and live a life with less stress and anxiety around job security and financial security. And that's OK. We need to normalize this. You and the candidate both have needs that you want to be met, and it's OK to hire folx who will do great work for your company but aren't in love with your company or go to your company game nights every week. You're hiring to fill a role, not to find a new buddy or "family member." By default, the "right fit" mentality is filled with bias and questions like this. By asking this question, you're making filling a position a popularity contest or an episode of The Bachelor.

You want a better question to ask candidates than "Why do you want to work here?" How about "When you saw this job posting, what was it about this position that made you want to apply?" This question de-centers your needs and hopefully allows the space for a candidate to share why the job interests them.

Stop looking for "love affairs." Your workplace is most definitely not a Nicholas Sparks novel.

Image description: A scene from the film adaptation of the Nicholas Sparks novel "The Notebook." Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams, the film's two white co-stars, are kissing in the rain, both of them heavily drenched. Ryan Gosling is lifting Rachel McAdams up. Rachel's legs are wrapped around Ryan Gosling's waist.

On Urgency and Making Oatmeal Raisin Cookies

Image description: a clear bowl can be seen sitting on a dark wooden table. Inside the bowl is 20 oatmeal raisin cookies, sitting in the bowl at various angles to make sure they all fit.

I made oatmeal raisin cookies the other day. Why? Because I had a hankering for oatmeal raisin cookies. So I set the oven to 350, made cookie dough, dolloped heaping globs of dough on a parchment paper-lined cookie sheet, and made two batches of oatmeal raisin cookies.

I made them while amid two virtual meetings.

I interrupted those meetings to check on my oatmeal raisin cookies' progress and put the second batch in the oven.

And I told the people I was in those meetings with why I was putting them on hold.

Some of y'all might consider that "unprofessional." Some of y'all might think that I wasn't present or focused on the content of those meetings. In response to those notions, I share two things:

1. What you call "unprofessional" I call refuting white supremacist workplace culture and white supremacist ideology. Sit down and unpack that on your time.

2. I was present and focused on the parts of those meetings that pertained to me and my work. It isn't my fault that those meetings were heavily bogged down with white supremacist urgency. White workplaces and their urgency, their need to make everything a DEFCON-5 situation, has nothing to do with me and my work. It's not my job to carry white supremacist workplace ideology in my brain, body, or soul. Real talk? Me making cookies was more important than their urgency. Why?

Me making those cookies symbolizes how we all need to work on not carrying the burden of every little thing happening at work and elevating them to urgent matters. Why is it so "urgent" now if this "urgent matter" wasn't urgent a week ago, a month ago, three months ago when it was at its apex? And why aren't y'all ever this urgent when homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, racism, sexism, ableism, and intersectional hate is playing out in your workplace?

Do you know what was urgent, however?

Eating them oatmeal raisin cookies. Not only were they delicious, but I also enjoyed them with no stress in my body or weight on my mind.

Don't walk around with the random crises at your workplace on your shoulders or weighing down your mind. Most of what happens at work every day isn't a crisis: it's white supremacy and patriarchy in action. And if your workplace doesn't want to address these issues but wants to freak out over that report that is suddenly due in 48 hours?

Set your boundaries and make yourself some damn cookies.

[Image description: a clear bowl can be seen sitting on a dark wooden table. Inside the bowl is 20 oatmeal raisin cookies, sitting in the bowl at various angles to make sure they all fit.]