On The Benefits of Working Remote vs. Onsite While Black

Image description: a picture of R&B musician Carl Thomas. He leans back in his car, his face exasperated. The image is captioned, “Me when I see that one person of pallor who always wants to ‘chat’ with a melanated person about their most recent racist and white supremacist behavior happily entering my office without permission to force a nonconsensual conversation, dumping a bunch of hateful crap in my lap and forcing me to chose between ‘educating’ them or putting my continued employment at risk by checkin’ them.”

One of the most significant benefits I’ve received from transitioning to remote roles is not having to spend my time in an office where people of pallor can force their way into my personal office space any time they see fit and initiate nonconsensual conversations around how racist, oppressive, and harmful they are.

I have had countless unwanted conversations with “well-meaning” people of pallor in workplaces over the years, around how racist and messed up they are. Every in-person job I’ve had for over a decade has had people of pallor forcing me to be their constant sounding board and “teacher.” It’s draining. It’s oppression and abuse masquerading as curiosity and a willingness to learn when all they want is validation for their actions.

Now, some of y’all are probably like, “Why didn’t you have boundaries?”, which is a question that shows how privileged your life has been not to have
to worry about how having boundaries in the workplace unlocks a whole closet of stereotypes and white supremacist workplace-isms that ultimately threaten your ongoing employment prospects.

Boundaries? Oh, you silly lil’ privileged beavers. Of course, I had boundaries in those workplaces.

The thing is, the clearer I was with my boundaries - signage on my office door that made it clear that I was busy, being available by appointment only, asking people to leave and re-enter my office, stating that I was not willing to consent to a racism “chat”, and even making it clear that people had to knock and be invited in before entering - the more “well-meaning” people of pallor would report me to my supervisor. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had to chat with leadership about how I’m not being a “team player,” that my boundaries were somehow in conflict with my job duties (they never were), or that I was the one being harmful to others because I didn’t want to be a racism and bigotry sounding board.

It has always been clear to me that working while Black comes with white supremacy, expecting you to shrink yourself and be used and mistreated as some form of servitude and gratitude to maintain a paycheck. And because I know this? I don’t think I can work in a physical office doing full-time work and feel healthy doing it ever again.

Working remotely has been a blessing for my mental and emotional health, and I don’t believe in letting blessings pass me by.

It’s also saved me from catchin’ a case, so win-win.

[Image description: a picture of R&B musician Carl Thomas. He leans back in his car, his face exasperated. The image is captioned, “Me when I see that one person of pallor who always wants to ‘chat’ with a melanated person about their most recent racist and white supremacist behavior happily entering my office without permission to force a nonconsensual conversation, dumping a bunch of hateful crap in my lap and forcing me to chose between ‘educating’ them or putting my continued employment at risk by checkin’ them.”]

On Rep. Nicole Collier, Texas, Democrats, and Black Women on Sabbatical

Rep. Nicole Collier, a Black woman and representative in the Texas legislature, was locked in a Texas state House Chamber overnight with her colleagues Gene Wu and Vince Perez because she and her colleagues rightfully refused to sign what was essentially a permission slip to be shadowed and surveilled by Texas law enforcement until Texas Republicans got their opportunity to vote on approving gerrymandering tactics that will render any non-Republican votes in the state damn near invalid in every election from now on.

If she signed the illegal "permission slip," Rep. Nicole would’ve had officers posted outside her Capitol office and following her everywhere. And when I say everywhere, I mean everywhere. Democrats in Texas have shared that these police "escorts" tailed them on their Monday evening drives back to their homes after spending much of the day posted in their offices and watching their every move. One Texas Dem said their "escort" went with them for a staff lunch and even down the hallway with them for restroom breaks.

Rep. Nicole Collier was one of only three Texas Democrat who refused to sign. And her colleagues who didn't sign? Also from communities of color. Not a Representative of pallor to be found.

And so Rep. Nicole sat in a House Chamber with two of her melanated colleagues, overnight, standing up for her constituents who live in a majority-Black district that will be silenced with this hateful gerrymandering. Meanwhile, her other Democratic House colleagues, who were happily soaking in the cheers when they landed back in Texas after leaving the state in protest, signed the "permission slips" and left her and her colleagues who are actually about something to sit there, overnight, in a locked room. None of them thought she, Gene, and Vince were worth standing in solidarity with in the face of hate and oppression. Nope. They signed their "permission slips" and moved on with their day. I'm sure Rep. Nicole had things in her life she wanted to get back to and loved ones she wanted to be with last night, but she understood what her presence means for her constituents. So she was 10 toes down while her colleagues bounced.

Later, you can guarantee her colleagues will act like they respect Rep. Nicole's "bravery" before going right back to inactivity and virtue signalling. And in a week it'll be like none of this ever happened. Texas Dems, Dems in general, will learn nothing and apply nothing to how they operate in the future or how they show up for Black women and Black communities.

Rinse and repeat.

And y'all wonder why Black women are on an indefinite sabbatical from saving y'all.

Monday's Opening Thought: March 8, 2021

This week’s opening thought:

Listen to all Black women.

Believe all Black women.

Validate all Black women.

Support all Black women.

Advocate for the mental, physical, and emotional well-being of all Black women.

Protect all Black women.

Real talk? Oprah shouldn’t have had to interview a Black woman who married someone she loved - someone who just so happened to be a part of a colonialist, racist, inbred patriarchy that obviously did not want “her kind” in their family - for you to care or consider all of the aforementioned. Her pain and trauma shouldn’t have had to be on display for you to be like, “Maybe she’s telling the truth.” Why do I feel this way?

Because you’ve heard these stories before. You just weren’t actively listening.

Black women have been sharing stories and harrowing ordeals akin to what Meghan Markle shared with the world last night with the world for centuries. In the workplace. In the communities they live in. Even marrying into non-Black families or having intimate relationships and friendships with white people. Meghan’s experience is not unique.

And that is the problem.

Western culture has normalized harming Black women to the point where most people - some Black folx included - don’t even bat an eye when faced with the prospect of this generational hatred or even their part in it. If you saw the interview and you feel for Meghan, which you should, ask yourself how often you’ve felt this way when you’ve heard these stories from Black women who aren’t Meghan. Then ask yourself why you weren’t compelled enough to care about Black women enough in those moments to be an ally or accomplice. It shouldn’t have to be on TV as a prime time special for you to care. And you know what?

These stories were already on your damn TV anyway.

It’s on the local and national news, buried behind a story about a squirrel that rides a jet ski and other puff pieces. It’s Breonna and Sandra and Muhlaysia and countless other Black women gone too soon and forgotten with no justice, names you’ve heard in passing that made you sad for 15 minutes.

You’ve heard these stories before. You just weren’t actively listening.

You might need to put on your listening ears for once and wire them up to your belief that you’re an ally or accomplice.

All Black Women Matter.

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