This Week's Opening Thought: January 23, 2023

TW: Mentions of domestic terrorism, anti-Asian hate, and white supremacy.

This week’s opening thought: Monterey Park. Alhambra, California. The Lai Lai Ballroom. A Lunar New Year celebration. Another traumatic event for AAPI communities. Another domestic terrorist attack.

I find myself once again deeply saddened by the weight of the trauma of domestic terrorism and anti-Asian hate as we come off of another weekend with a mass shooting. It hurts that, once again, melanated communities have trauma connected to a celebration of their communities and culture. It’s even heavier when the harm is at the hands of someone from one of your communities, who could’ve been celebrating with you instead of plotting harm against you.

The immense weight of trauma that AAPI communities carry from three-plus years of increased violence toward them at the hands of white supremacy and anti-Asian hate has to feel daunting.

Processing the generational and societal trauma that led to this weekend’s tragic events and the shooter taking the actions that he did must also feel daunting.

At this point, I don’t even know what to say anymore. There aren’t words that can make this pain go away. There’s only a long road to healing.

If there are folx from AAPI communities in your workplace, please give them the grace and support they need right now. That work deadline can f----g wait. Their communities have endured so much and are hurting right now. Give them time off without them having to ask for it or use PTO. Be a human, a vulnerable, empathetic human.

If there are folx from AAPI communities in your life – friends, neighbors, partners – be there for them as they grieve and try to heal. Be present, be vulnerable, and lend them an ear and a shoulder without adding your thoughts or narratives into the mix. Show them love without conditions. Don’t make it about yourself and your need to feel like a “good person.”

Sending love and healing to AAPI communities this week. I wish you grace and rest, healing and forgiveness, and the space to grieve without obligations and “work commitments” bearing down upon you and disregarding your needs. I’m here if you need me.

On Painful Anniversaries, Anti-Asian Hate, and Solidarity in the Face of Hate

TW: Anti-Asian hate, violence, murder, fetishization.

Today marks the one-year anniversary of 21-year-old Robert Aaron Long murdering eight people in a mass shooting spree at three Atlanta, Georgia, area spas, which Long claims happened due to his "sex addiction." Long's actions led to the senseless murders of Xiaojie "Emily" Tan, 49; Daoyou Feng, 44; Delaina Yaun, 33; Paul Michels, 54; Suncha Kim, 69; Soon Chung Park, 74; Hyun Jung Grant, 51; and Yong Ae Yue, 63.

The murders of these eight people, living their lives and trying to make a living, were not isolated incidents.

Attacks against Asian Americans have been on the rise since the start of the pandemic. The FBI reported an increase in anti-Asian hate crimes since 2019. The group Stop AAPI Hate has tracked nearly 11,000 hate incidents against Asian Americans from March 2020 to December 2021, with more occurring in 2021 than 2020. Most of those incidents targeted women from AAPI communities.

With racial attacks on the rise, AAPI communities are increasingly fearing for their safety with very little accountability for the actions of those initiating hate crimes. A recent survey published this month from the National Asian Pacific American Women's Forum (NAPAWF) found that 74% of Asian American and Pacific Islander women reported experiencing racism and/or discrimination over the last year. 53% said the perpetrator was a stranger or someone they didn't know. For East Asian respondents, in particular, 51% of women said they feel less safe today than at the start of the pandemic.

As we look at the anniversary of a violent and hateful act, I feel so much pain for my AAPI friends, family, and colleagues. As a person of color, a Black person, I feel this pain deeply because I know how terrifying it is to believe you might not make it home today. I know how horrifying it is to think that your loved ones might not make it to the dinner table tonight. But what I really feel, deep inside my soul, is exhaustion.

I'm tired. I've been tired. One thing I'm so tired of is watching as communities of color have to acknowledge painful and traumatizing anniversaries while asking for justice and safety that never come. Many of my AAPI friends, family, and colleagues are also tired. I know many of you are hurting, scared, still trying to reconcile why this has to be your reality and why there is so much hate in this world. I don't have answers. But you do have me – my support, care, and solidarity.

I stand with my AAPI friends, family, and colleagues on this painful anniversary and every other day of the year too. I stand with AAPI women and femmes on this painful anniversary and every other day of the year too. I will always stand with you and fight for your right to live, to exist, to thrive, not to be objectified and fetishized by white supremacy and hate. And we'll keep fighting together to make it so that the only anniversaries we're observing are celebrations, not trauma.

Monday's Opening Thought: November 30, 2020

This week’s opening thought: There are 32 days left in 2020. After all of the nationwide Black Lives Matter protests this year, all happening while police officers were still harming Black bodies daily. After seeing a massive increase in reported hate crimes aimed at the AAPI community. After seeing how COVID-19 has impacted Black, Brown, and Indigenous lives, after all of the talks about this moment in time being a “movement” and not just another moment. After all of that I just have to ask:

Where you at?

Where y’all at now?

Where is your employer at now?

A lot of y’all who were trying to check me and inform me that I was too pessimistic about your “handling” of the 400+year-old ongoing situation at hand back in late Spring/early Summer are suddenly mighty quiet. The organizations you work for are mighty silent also. Where’s all of that gusto y’all had, posting things on your social media channels and websites saying that you stand with Black lives? Where are all of the organizational initiatives y’all were talking about to make your companies start their work on being more actively anti-racist?

Don’t worry. You don’t need to answer. We both know the answers to all of the questions above.

Maybe it’s time that many of the organizations y’all work for threw their cookie-cutter diversity statements and messaging from Summer 2020 in the waste paper basket and owned up to the fact that they only care about the lives of people of color/culture when it affects their bottom line.

Maybe it’s time many of y’all personally and professionally did the same thing.

All this frontin’ and faux empathy is not a good look.

Y’alls “wokeness” is starting to show up your obvious ambivalence about dealing with your connections to and perpetuation of racism and white supremacy. Might wanna tuck that in. You wouldn’t want it to get snagged on anything as y’all walk out of 2020 patting yourselves on the back for caring about persons of color/culture for a brief minute or two.