On Wanting an HR Robot and Not an HR Person

This morning, a large international creative agency turned me down for an HR position after over a month of interviews. Their Technical Recruiter called me to inform me of their decision. The reason why I wasn't chosen?

I wasn't transactional enough.

Seriously. They used the word transactional in our conversation —multiple times.

The recruiter told me that they felt that my approach to HR was too relational for the role they were trying to fill. They were looking for someone who could do the transactional HR work without relational components. I was told that because my approach to HR tasks is relational, I might not be a "good fit" for the HR team but that when they expand their DEI team in the future, they will keep me in mind, so they'd like to stay in touch.

Again, their words. Not me paraphrasing or reading between the lines. These are the actual words the recruiter said to me this morning.

I'm not good enough to be a part of their transactional HR team, but I'm a Black person who cares about people, so I'd be a "great fit" for the DEI team!

Geez. Oof. Foot in mouth.

Real talk, though? I was honestly quite impressed.

Someone in HR finally had the guts to say the silent part aloud.

My entire career in HR has been spent watching people with power, privilege, and positionality avoid telling me they dislike how relational I am and need me to be way less human than I am as their HR person.

I've known for some time now that I've been a stone's throw from one of these senior leaders I've worked with admitting that my HR philosophy makes them angry or uncomfortable. They want me to toe the company line, wield policies like weapons, and disregard most workplace harm. But telling me that level of truth? That also makes them uncomfortable. So instead of sitting with honesty, the conversations have always veered toward me somehow being a "problem" or needing to change "little" things about how I discuss accountability for leaders and processes. No one wants to admit that they want HR to be what HR historically has been: the workplace police, a hammer of patriarchal white supremacist workplace culture.

Yeah...that ain't me.

Honesty around wanting a transactional HR person on your staff. Well, damn. What a breath of fresh air.

What a smelly, rank, moist yet somehow dry breath of "fresh" air.