A Message to Black Professionals and Working Folx During a Moment of Trauma

TW: Murder, trauma, police brutality, and anti-Blackness.

Black professionals and working folx: it's OK not to be OK. I don't care what your employer says or how they feel about you needing time to grieve and heal after another high-profile murder of a Black man by the white supremacist system of policing civilians and its accompanying video footage. I hope beyond hope that you did not engage with that footage. If you did, I hope for peace for your mind, body, and soul. Regardless, you have the right to take some time today, this week, to breathe and center the health of your body and brain. You have the right to care for your mental, emotional, and physical health and navigate a new but familiar trauma this week.

F--- that spreadsheet. You matter more than anything going on at work this week.

You're experiencing the weight of a seemingly never-ending and constantly reinforced collective trauma that your ancestors endured and passed on to you through genetics. It wasn’t their fault they passed this genetic trauma on to you. They were enduring constant visceral harm that created the byproducts of familiar harm we’re enduring now. Your brain and body are exhausted. They've been exhausted because new traumas emerge every time they dive into healing traumas, and old traumas get reignited due to the explicit message that Black lives don't matter in the United States. Add to this the feeling of powerlessness that comes from watching white supremacy "empower" members of your community to wantonly harm and kill your people in the name of white supremacist ideology. That's why you feel heavy. This sh-- takes an almost immeasurable toll on our brains and bodies, and we've resigned ourselves to "pushing through it" when all we're doing is wading through quicksand with ankle weights while still processing the shackles of our ancestors. Don't "push through."

Pause.

Breathe.

It’s OK to call time out.

That meeting can be postponed.

That conference call ain't that important.

That "urgent task?" It wasn't that urgent before now, and it won't be that urgent later this week when you get to it.

Please do what you can to take care of yourselves, my people.

I wish you wellness this week in whatever form it may take.

On "Quiet Hiring," Burnout, and Cutesy Names for Harmful Things

From CNBC:

"A new year is here, and with it, a new workplace phenomenon that bosses and employees should prepare for: quiet hiring.

Quiet hiring is when an organization acquires new skills without actually hiring new full-time employees, says Emily Rose McRae, who has led Gartner's future of work research team since its 2019 inception, focusing on HR practices.

Sometimes, it means hiring short-term contractors. Other times, it means encouraging current employees to temporarily move into new roles within the organization, McRae says.

...Hiring usually falls into one of three categories: backfilling old roles, creating new ones to help the company grow or addressing an acute, immediate need.

Quiet hiring is all about that third category, even if it doesn't technically involve any new hiring at all. The idea is to prioritize the most crucial business functions at a given time, which could mean temporarily mixing up the roles of current employees."

SIGH.

Listen to me closely: THIS IS NOT A HIRING TREND TO LOOK OUT FOR.

Could white supremacist workplace culture leadership do me a favor and stop giving things new names? Y'all did this last year with "quiet quitting" *cough* doing your job and only your job, then going home on time *cough*. And now you want HR to happily push employees to do jobs outside their job description - outside of the job you hired them to do - and give it a "cute" name? That's not a new thing. Quit acting like this is a new workforce tactic. "Quiet hiring" is something companies have been doing for years. Companies have been making employees take on the roles of multiple people "just for a little while" for decades. You know, "just until we end the hiring freeze" or "until we get through this recession." Who are y'all trying to fool? Y'all realize we all know the reasoning behind the line "other duties as assigned" being added to job descriptions, right? Your workers aren't stupid. Give your employees credit for knowing when they're being used with nothing more than a paycheck with no pay increase in return. Stop using HR to weaponize policies that lead to overworking people and push them to either be burnt out or quit.

There's nothing quiet about burning people out and overworking them with an overwhelming workload with no end in sight "for the good of the company."

That's a loud and clear message y'all have been sending for eons.

On the Tibetan Sand Fox and Invitations to the Cookout

Image description: a gallery of four pictures of the Tibetan Sand Fox. The Sand Fox has a natural expression of judgment on its face, complete with a side-eye glance. Above the fox images is the caption, "Me when white "professionals" speak up about racism one time in 100+ workplace situations they've witnessed then look over at me with a smile on their face like they've proven they're a staunch ally in the "war on racism." "

Hey, white "professionals." It's me, Pharoah. I just wanted to take a moment before y'all dive headlong into 2023 and that stack of anti-racism books you've got on your bedside table (because one of your resolutions for this year is to really get going on being anti-racist) to remind y'all that speaking up one time out of 100 times you witness racism, and white supremacy, happening in real-time does not get you an invite to the cookout.

Hell, it doesn't even get you a Lunchable and a Capri Sun.

For the 1,000th time, speaking up and calling other white "professionals" in and out for their racist and white supremacist behavior is not a fair-weather practice. You either speak up and call in and out your white "colleagues" for their behavior and action every time you see it (while checking yourself and your privilege) or don't bother. Every once-in-a-while "allyship" is something you're doing for yourself, so you feel like a "good person"; it ain't doin' nothin' for me and mine. It doesn't even help us at the moment you're doing your one-off "activism" because we [the melanated masses] know you won't be following your actions up by checking Bob from Accounting the next time he flies his white supremacy flag when your privilege and positionality allows you to do so without the ever-present fear of losing your job.

Consistency is the word of the day. And we [the melanated masses] know when y'all aren't going to be consistent but still want to get invited to the cookout so you can seek additional praise for your potato salad recipe with the pepitas and raisins in it.

If you aren't willing to fight through the discomfort of being in opposition with other white people daily, then you shouldn't sign up for this work or dupe yourself into thinking that the three times a year you say something to another white person will move the needle.

To paraphrase Shania Twain, "Okay, so you said something today after I've watched you stay silent for years and endured your private apologies away from the other white people at work every time harm has occurred my entire time working here.”

That don't impress me much.

All that performative action will do is get you an eternal side-eye.

I'll let you get back to them books on your bedside table. It looks like you haven't even creased the cover on the first one yet.

What a shame.

P.S.: This applies to your personal life, too. Active and engaged anti-racism ain't just a "thing you do at work."

2022: A (Personal) Year in Review

Image Description: A wooden table is adorned with green, yellow, and blue lights. The words “Happy New Year” are spelled out with Scrabble tiles. The year 2023 is displayed below them, each number carved out of white wood.

Sitting in my home on the last evening of 2022, I can't help but take a moment to step back and look at the year that was. 2022 was…interesting. Up, down, surreal, and interesting. For me, 2022 was not only my 40th year on Earth but one big ass learning experience.

2022 was a year of me trying to find my creative spark again while grappling with swallowing the hard pill of why my spark was gone.

2022 was the year that I began taking my mental and emotional health more seriously and learning how to process generational and personal trauma.

2022 was the year I started my lifelong journey of addressing codependence in my personal and professional lives.

2022 was the year I began learning about and recognizing how much harm codependence has caused me in relation to family members and co-workers who have not addressed their codependence.

2022 was the year that I decided to take a hiatus from being an in-house anti-racism trainer and facilitator for companies and organizations.

2022 was also the year that I decided to make that hiatus permanent once I realized how much better I felt not doing anti-racism work as an in-house employee with no autonomy or support.

2022 was the year that I had to sit with myself and mull over if I wanted to work in human resources anymore after realizing how my codependence was interconnected with how angry and powerless I've felt as an HR "professional."

2022 was the year that I began figuring out what being an empathetic, human-centered, boundary-oriented HR "professional" looked like and putting these lessons and ideas into action.

2022 was the year that becoming the HR "professional" I need to be to maintain my mental and emotional health and well-being was met with more jeers than cheers, not just from other HR "professionals" but many people in power in organizations I worked for.

2022 was the year that vitriolic emails, comments, and messages from HR "professionals" expressing their anger with me holding the field of Human Resources accountable for the harm that it perpetuates and upholds outweighed the "hate mail" I received from every other field.

2022 was the year that more Global Majority HR "professionals" and HR "professionals" of color tried to silence me, chastise me, and tell me to leave the field of HR "if I don't like it" than Global Majority folx from any other profession and occupation.

2022 was the year that white "professionals" got angry with me when I would no longer engage in "debates" with them or accept connection requests from them on LinkedIn and my social media channels. How angry did they get? So angry that a group of them collectively reported everything I posted for three weeks, intending to get me banned from multiple platforms for "hate speech." And they almost succeeded, too, with me having to have numerous discussions and go through various appeals with LinkedIn and Instagram safety personnel.

That's a lot of sh--, ain't it?

Real talk? Sure, all of the above happened this year. But I find myself on December 31 healthier than I have ever been. I'm happier. I've had more joy between sorrow and pain this year than I have in years, and that joy has outweighed the pain more than ever. Nothing's perfect. There's still a lot of work to continue doing to take care of myself and to continue healing. But even amid the healing and work ahead, I'm the best version of me I've ever been.

Sometimes you need a year of transformation and intention-setting to set up the next stage of your life. For me, 2022 was that year. If you're going to have a transformational year, having it be your fortieth year on Earth ain't a bad time for it to happen, y'know?

I hope that if you're reading this and 2022 was a struggle for you, there is a light at the end of that tunnel and hope on the horizon. I know it's not always easy to find that hope, to embrace joy amid pain, but I wish you nothing but forward progress in 2023. I hope you can do what you need to process the trauma and pain of 2022 and the years past and begin a new journey of health and joy in the coming year. And whatever your journey looks like, I hope you have people to help you when you stumble on the path because I know from experience that the path is full of rocky terrain.

Out with the old. In with the new. Auld Lang Syne. Drink responsibly—all that jazz. Make it home safe.

Here's to (hopefully) less B.S. and more joy, growth, and the energy to live as authentically as we can in a beautiful, ugly world.

Adios, 2022. Salud, 2023.

On Crappy Supervisors and the Workplace Cultures That Protect Them

I've seen a lot of posts on social media throughout 2022 about people leaving companies because of toxic supervisors. This is a valid and legitimate reason why people leave jobs and organizations. With that said, let's not leave out the fact that if you had a crappy supervisor, it's because the company's culture and workplace norms are designed to prop up and protect crappy people who espouse the company's "values."

Patriarchal white supremacist workplace culture norms and practices are why your former supervisor can be abusive, hateful, racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic, and ableist, yet face no repercussions for their words and actions.

Patriarchal white supremacist workplace culture norms and practices are why your former supervisor still has a job at your former employer and will stay employed for as long as they want. In contrast, people in your former role will cycle in and out of the organization like a revolving door. They, too, will seek help but soon realize it's just best for them to find another job.

Your former supervisor? They are long overdue for being held accountable for the harm they've caused you and countless others during their tenure at your former employer. But don’t let your former employer off the hook.

They prioritized norms, comfort, and fear of changing and evolving over keeping you as an employee and treating you like a person.

There’s enough accountability to go around. Trust me.