This Week's Opening Thought: January 30, 2023

Image Description: two images of a young white male professional. On the left side, the white male professional can be seen wearing a button-up dress shirt. They are smiling at the viewer. His hair is cut short in a style akin to a buzz cut. Above his head are the words “January 31.” The same white male professional can be seen on the right side, but he is now wearing an African kente-inspired brown shirt with a red, green, black, yellow, and orange pattern set. His hair is now braided and pulled into cornrows. In his right hand is a copy of Resmaa Menakem’s book My Grandmother’s Hands. Above his head are the words “February 1.”

This week's opening thought, directed at white people: tomorrow is January 31. That makes the next day, February 1. February 1 marks the start of Black History Month. It is the first of 28 days of conversations and illuminations about the history, significance, contributions, systemic oppression, and societal and cultural impacts of the progeny of enslaved Africans in the United States of America. It is a celebration of a people who made and continue to make a feast out of famine, ingenuity and innovation out of oppression and subjugation.

So let me stop you right now before you catch some verbal hands this month because some of y'all don't know how to act during Black History Month.

Every year, I find myself looking at y'all and shaking my head as y'all go on your virtue-signaling quests with the hopes of capturing new Black "friends" like we're Pokemon. Many of y'all get real extra during months like Black History Month, which is saying a lot because we endure y'all being extra most of the year. And while many of y'all think you're not being given a chance to "prove us wrong" when we don't accept your hollow and shallow gestures during a month that has nothing to do with you outside of you perpetuating your forefathers' messiness, guess what? You are not the victim here. You are the person who should be engaging in lifelong learning and unlearning but opting for quick fixes instead.

I can't and won't speak for the entirety of Black communities in the United States, but I feel like it's not going out on a limb to tell y'all that there are some things we don't want to have to hear or see from y'all from February 1 through February 28. We don't want to see this sh—from y'all the other 337 days of the year that aren't Black History Month either, but we know y'all have to crawl before you walk, and some of y'all are still on belly time; feel me? So consider the following list as me aiming to support my fellow Black folx from having to say any of this to y'all over the next month.

You're welcome, white people. I give, and I give, and I give some more.

What can you do for us for Black History Month?

a. We don't care if you've read My Grandmother's Hands. Or Caste. Or How to be an Anti-Racist. Or insert-antiracism-book-written-by-Black-person-here. We care, but we don't care because we don't see y'all applyin' what you read outside of looking for kudos. We only care enough to know which ones of y'all to avoid for the next 28 days. Name-dropping books from the NPR book list ain't the flex or camaraderie-building moment y'all think it is. Learning and growing around dismantling your connections to and perpetuation of white supremacy and anti-Blackness is not about seeking gold stars and participation ribbons for books you've read. This ain't a Summer Reading contest at the Library.

b. We don't care how you feel about "Black food." We could care less if you like fried chicken and collard greens. Real talk? I wouldn't trust you if you didn't like chicken and greens. That sh—is delicious. As is damn near every bit of food from across the African and Afro-Caribbean diaspora. That ain't the flex y'all think it is. And PLEASE do not bring your version of "Black food" to work to share with others. NO.

c. We aren't impressed by your knowledge of a couple of Black history nuggets outside the usual "talking points" and faces this country trots out every February. And we're not impressed when you call yourself "schooling" someone about Black history and then looking toward us for validation when the only three Black people you know of whose names start with M are Martin Luther King, Jr., Malcolm X, and Maya Angelou. Not. The flex. You think it is.

d. We don't want to talk to you about Black musicians and artists. We don't care that you like Coltrane or Langston Hughes. We don't care that you like Tupac and Biggie. Or Wu-Tang. Definitely not Drake. Real talk? Y'all can have Drake. Please. Take him.

Your attempts to connect with us through your "knowledge" of and "love" of "Black art" (*cough* damn near all popular music and art are influenced by Black, Brown, and Indigenous culture *cough*) is not a flex. It's a white supremacist communication tool to force people to like you and push familiarity and camaraderie that's not there. We're more than our music or artistic expression. We don't decide to talk to y'all about Elvis and Norman Rockwell whenever we see y'all, do we? There you go.

e. Trying to talk like us and use terminology and colloquialisms attached to our cultures and experiences does not make you "down." If you have never said "ain't" and "y'all" but suddenly start tossing those words around for a few weeks every year? Yo. You look and sound weird. You're givin' undercover narc vibes. You come off as Steve Buscemi on that episode of 30 Rock where he infiltrated the high school. Not the flex y'all think it is.

f. Pulling out your Black Lives Matter t-shirt after storing it in your closet since Juneteenth? Nope. Put that sh—right back in your closet. Not a flex. The same goes for your Biggie Smalls or Beyonce shirt. Quit buying shirts with Black people's faces and quotes on them. Those aren't for you. They do not make Black people feel safer and braver around you. They make us put our hands in our pockets to fight the urge to lay hands on you.

g. Don't you dare try to use words from different African languages in casual conversations with us. Again, it is not the flex you think it is, and it will not get you the "I'm impressed" vibes you're hoping to receive from us. This is more of a demonstration of dipping your toes in the water of our cultures for clout instead of learning about our communities and people in more profound ways.

h. Do not bust out dreads, cornrows, or fades this month. No. NO. Not a flex. Stop it. You look foolish; it's not a part of any Eurocentric culture (yeah, I'm callin' you Viking mofos out), and it does not create visual connection and solidarity.

i.  If we call you out for doing any of the above, do not sink into a victim mentality and lash out at us with violence. Sit with the stressors you've ignited and the discomfort you've caused for yourself and others. Ain't nobody tell you to act a fool and learn nothing from all the reading and learning you've claimed you've been engaging with.

I'll leave it there for now. There's always more to discuss with y'all, but I've used up my free labor energy, so this is all you get. Just…just act like y'all have got some damn sense for the next 28 days, OK? It's not that hard. Black History Month ain't about you, and it's not your opportunity to make new Black friends or impress the Black folx around you. All you've gotta do this month is wish us a Happy Black History Month and keep it movin'.

I'll leave y'all to it.

…One of you m---f---s already bought a dashiki, didn't you?

Well, there's always 2024.