On Workplaces, Family Systems Theory, and "Family"

Work is not "your family."

It will never be "your family."

I hope you have a family, chosen or genetic, that is a healthy space for you as a growing and evolving person, but the workplace ain't it.

With that said, you better believe that work is still a toxic family system that we're knee-deep in for 40 hours per week.

And as you should with any family system you're a part of, you need to be clear about your perceived or forced role in the family system and what you want or think your role should be.

Just like family members, workplaces will prey on your co-dependence, need to be liked, need for validation and support, narcissism, lack of boundaries, and need for safety to force you into the role it thinks you should be in within its toxic family system. And that role often predicates some level of harm to yourself or others because workplaces are set up to be collaborative yet driven by individualism. You owe it to yourself to take the time needed to know your worth, capacity, co-dependence triggers, and toxic traits to work on so you can show up in your workplace's family system with better mental health, firmer boundaries, and intentionality.

Even if you work at Olive Garden, you ain't family while you're there. At least not a healthy one.

We all deserve better "family time" than what we're getting.