On Ancestors, Opportunities, and Strange Fruit Amid Turmoil and Pain: A Song of 2020

2020 has been "special."

I have never had to work so hard to maintain mindfulness and inner peace in my entire life, both personally and professionally. I literally had to shut down my availability for consulting. It became too much. Too many white people asking for me to come in and "fix" their companies. It took a toll on me, y'all. But this year has also been surreal as far as my audience, reach, and evolving skillset is concerned. I think I have somehow, through all of the muck and mire, truly hit my stride as a facilitator. Every community conversation I've led this year, every training I've facilitated, has felt more and more effortless. Less mental and emotional prep. More comfort. I know I have so much more room for growth as a facilitator and activist but I am astonished that with everything going on this year that I've seen my evolution occurring in these conditions. This year I've branched into hosting my own trainings and community conversations, been on a few more podcasts than I was last year, spoke from my head and heart with members of the American Marketing Association (with another opportunity to do so coming soon), and even spent entire mornings and afternoons with hundreds of recruiters, HR professionals, and leaders from across Oregon discussing anti-racism and white supremacy in personal and professional spaces. And now here I am, three weeks away from the biggest audience of my career: folx who work for the State of Oregon.

In a few weeks, I'll be leading a workshop on intersectionality at the State of Oregon's annual Statewide Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Conference. The frickin' State of Oregon, y'all. The State of Oregon has over 40,000 employees. I will have the opportunity to connect with thousands of people whose work impacts our communities in a myriad of ways.

Whoa.

A poor Black kid from an impoverished heavily-melanated city is being paid to talk to thousands of local government employees about intersectionality. Some would say this is the "American Dream," this kind of power, privilege, and opportunity. But I disagree. This ain't got nothin' to do with the American Dream.

This is my ancestor's wildest dreams bearing something more hopeful than strange fruit.

I will take their struggle, their pain, the generational trauma of my people, and I will not let it slow me down or make me feel less than enough anymore. I will make sure their pain wasn't in vain. 2020 has given me the opportunities, and I'm gonna run with 'em. This could've been a year of pain and depression. In some ways, it has been from time to time. But for me but it's somehow become so much more than that. It’s a series of opportunities in a sea of woe, with the biggest opportunity on the horizon.

I'm not throwing away my shot. And yes, that's a Hamilton reference.

2020, y'all. It's like that.

Take care of yourselves, and each other.