A Shout-Out To My Homie, Therapy
I want to take a moment to give a huge shout-out to my homie and road dog, therapy. Good lookin' out, homie!
Real talk? I've been having a difficult last few months. A difficult 2021, to be honest. White supremacy and racism have been beating me down after years of doing the bare minimum to take care of myself mentally, emotionally, and physically. Working in white supremacist workplace cultures trying to push for meaningful and deep long-term work had taken its toll on me. By the summer of this year, I was drained. I found myself falling into old patterns of wanting to overdo it, fight harder, with no support system in place in the workplace in the face of white fragility and white violence. I saw my feelings of failure and blaming myself for why things aren't moving forward reacquaint themselves in my life as a familiar albatross on my neck after countless years of fighting it off. I felt like I wasn't of any help to anyone with melanated skin. It took some hard conversations with myself to realize that I had to stop thinking that I had all the answers and that I could "fix it on my own" and finally seek therapy from a Black therapist, someone who would understand me and the complexities of being Black. And honestly?
I cannot hammer home how essential the need for therapy for Black folx, for people of color, is y'all.
Therapy has helped me be firmer with my boundaries than ever before. It's allowed me the space to truly think about embracing joy and engaging in mindfulness and self-care in better ways. It's given me an increasingly important set of tools to center myself in the face of whiteness and oppression. Most importantly, I feel like the weights that have been on my ankles for years are finally unshackled. I feel more and more mentally and emotionally free with each passing session. I have a new focus on my personal and professional goals and now believe more than ever that I can attain those goals.
If you're Black, if you're a person of color, and you're struggling right now please know that you're not alone. If you are privileged to be able to do so, please use sites like Clinicians of Color to find a therapist of color in your area and get the support and validation you deserve. Prioritize yourself. You can't help anyone if you aren't willing to help yourself.